Frank Coztansa wrote:
Ladies and Gentleman, and Friends of my daughter. There comes a
time in every wedding reception when the man who paid for the damn thing
is allowed to speak a word or two of his own. And I should like to take
this opportunity, schloshed as I may be, to say a word or two about Martin.
As far as I'm concerned. my daughter could not have chosen a more
delightful, charming, witty, responsible... wealthy? Let's not deny it....
well-placed, good-looking and fertile young man than Martin as her husband.
And I therefore ask the question... why the hell did she marry Gerald
instead?
Because Gerald is the sort of man we used to describe at school as a
complete prick. If I may use a gardening simile here, if his entire
family may be likened to a compost heap... and I think they can...
then Gerald is the biggest weed growing out of it. I think he is the
sort of man people immigrate to avoid.
I remember the first time I met Gerald. I said to my wife... she's the
lovely woman propping up that horrendous old lush of a mother of his...
either this man is suffering from serious brain damage, or the new vacuum
cleaner has arrived. As for his family, they are quite simply the most
intolerable herd of steaming social animals I have ever had this misfortune
of turning my nose up to. I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog!
I would like to propose a toast.... to the caterers. And to the pigeon
who crapped on the groom's families limousine at the church. As for the
rest of you around this table not directly related to me, you can fuck off!
I wouldn't trust any of you to sit the right way on a toilet seat!
_________________
Darkside wrote:
Our hotel smelled like dead hooker vagina (before you ask I had gotten a detailed description from beardown)
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