Let me know when and where so I can make sure I'm busy...

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This is my signature...

Mind if I use that /\?

Would you say your act will be prop heavy or just moderate?

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This is my signature...

The rubber chicken weighs 6 oz

If you want the black vote, better jerk it first!!


*I'll see myself out

Don't waste your money on the 180g ones.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

I have a really good feeling that I would slay an audience with my routine.

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Its an easy formula

You just bring like 15-20 people and to laugh and the rest will join because people are largely sheepish

yada, yada, yada HBO special and hosting the Golden Globes

can i get the OK to sell "RPB" shirts/hats outside the venue in order to, uh, send my kids to college?

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Hell yeah


Maybe Ill just do a whole set on CSFMB and see if the non board members STILL laugh

I hate these guys that say "I carefully manage my 401(k) portfolio!" Motherf----r, you are supposedto carefully manage your 401(k) portfolio. What do you want, a cookie?

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just tell all of DDave's stories

RPB: I just want to start by saying....Fuck Phil McCracken.

CSFMB audience plants:

Real audience:

White people:

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This is my signature...

Youtube views: 250

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Although, Ill probably close with that....

I really could probably do a bit on that

I know one person who wants to come.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Try playing music in front of people...I could barely play the first few times, plus I was singing at the time. Shaking like a terrified squirrel.
After about 3 shows or so the nervous energy morphs into adrenaline.
Any type of "public" speaking requires a bit of practice. i.e. You don't have the recent college grad run the contract negotiations.

Nothing like a 100W white light 5 feet from your head....except maybe a yellow one.

I'm pretty certain I could do it....if I had anything funny to say.

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@audioidkid

Or like...7 of them.

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"hey I feel like a french fry up here!"

Comedy AND music. Frank. Covers all bases and bass.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

I do my thing in front of hostile crowds all the time so it usually doesn't bother me much. One night I had to do it at the Music Box and it was a completely different situation. It took me off my game.

It is not just a matter of telling jokes. You need to develop stage presence.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

Wait a second. You're saying you regularly perform as a standup comedian? When and where is your next gig?

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Wow! That is something I would like to see. Keep us updated.

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I would guess 90% of the big talkers would piss in their pants if they had to go on stage and do this.][/quote]

I do my thing in front of hostile crowds all the time so it usually doesn't bother me much. One night I had to do it at the Music Box and it was a completely different situation. It took me off my game.

It is not just a matter of telling jokes. You need to develop stage presence.[/quote]

Wait a second. You're saying you regularly perform as a standup comedian? When and where is your next gig?[/quote]

Don't NSJ/Seacrest me.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I gotta hear a Dolphin Jim & Bryan on stage. Please let us know when you next appear.

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There are only two examples of infinity: The universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the universe.

Here is pretty much what RPB's act would be;

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I'll be emceeing a Stand Up Tragedy open mic at the Heartland Tuesdays starting in April. You guys should come out.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost