leashyourkids wrote:
So, I went to a child birthing class today with my wife. She is due in two months. Before I describe the class, I will say that I am 100% committed to being there for my wife and helping her through the difficult and painful process of having a child.
However...
The videos shown today and some of the activities we were asked to do are very unnatural and disturbing. Among them was a massage activity, a breastfeeding activity, and a "swaddle" activity (that one was fine). The videos shown were the most disturbing. All I heard about was how these feminine fathers wanted to "experience" child birth. Why? Why would a man want to experience child birth? We were born men. I most definitely do NOT want to experience child birth. I will stick with my natural pain-causing experiences, such as prostate exams and cheering for the Bears.
But beyond that, I find the entire trend to be troubling. I fully understand and support the right of gay couples or transgendered couples to have babies or whatever the hell they want to do. I am not a part of one of those couples. I am a man (but I'm not 40). I was born a man. Am I supposed to apologize for being a man? I am here to impregnate my wife and to support her once she is impregnated (which I have done to this point and will continue to do). My wife is very cool, and I am very fortunate to have someone who understands and accepts that she is the primary participant in the child-bearing process and that she was born that way. She expects me to be there to support her, which I will. But I will NOT be there to tell her that I wish I could experience what she is going through. I will NOT be bringing heated oils into the room to rub on her body. I will NOT be wishing I could change places with her. I am not pregnant. She is.
The whole thing is weird. I work with a lot of men who don't seem to act like men, and most of them have had kids before. It feels to me like the socialization process associated with child birth is as much about socializing a man to believe he is not a man as much as it exists to educate couples. But if you have good people who understand they are a team, none of it is necessary, and it is almost certainly overkill. I'm sure I'll take heat for these thoughts, but the entire day weirded me out today.
I will add that no one would describe me as "sensitive", but almost everyone would certainly describe me as committed and willing to play my role. And I definitely am. There is a difference, however, between holding up your end and ignoring completely the role that you were biologically determined to play.
i bet you're ready for a big glass of wine, amirite ??