They didn't use the lube

$700 at the dealer for keys, programming, and a new battery. On top of the $75 tow and $100 diagnostic test at the mechanic I've already spent. Merry fucking Christmas.

I am not a legal expert, how many times do I have to say it?

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

PUDDY: Let’s finish this up.

JERRY: Did you two break up?

PUDDY: (While punching up numbers on a calculator) That chick’s whacked. We’re history. I just left out a couple of things: rust-proofing..

JERRY: "Rust-proofing"?

PUDDY: (Reading off what he’s adding up on the calculator) Transport charge, storage surcharge, additional overcharge, finder’s fee

JERRY: "Finder’s fee"? It was on the lot!

PUDDY: Yeah, that’s right. (Continues reading off) Floor mats, keys..

JERRY: ‘Keys"?!

PUDDY: How ya gonna start it?

I can already feel my yule log dimming.

I have baseball practice Saturday morning and a party at night. My wife wants to squeeze in seeing santa with her family in between. She wanted to know if we could go to the club for drinks after. Nice way to start the holiday week fronting the money for Schlitz drinkers who will find themselves having the taste for 20 year scotch that day.

We are going to see a Christmas carol sunday night. She wants to squeeze her family having a cookie party in before. Now, over 50% of them will bring nothing, another 40 will bring oreos and my wife will be baking into the morning trying to be the good daughter.

Now, it's super important that we go to these things because we are only going to see them 1-2 other times in the 5 day time span. Then I'll really look forward to her mom's OCD kicking in and demanding that all the dishes are washed after the dinner on Christmas night before she will put out the deserts everyone else made even as the next day is a work day...not for her, of course. The centerpiece of it all is my father in law sitting at the head of the table proclaiming he and his wife the master of feast with foods bought and prepared by everyone else but them.

Ho, Ho, Ho!

The victims are the American People and the Republic itself.

Let's help eachother out.

T Bone, send Frank some dough to help out his key situation.

Frank, get the spare bedroom organized and take T Bone's in laws in for 4 days.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

She wanted to know if we could go to the club for drinks after.

What club does a good dolphin belong to? I'm gonna guess the Metropolitan Club. Or are you a Union League man?

Sam's?

I really did laugh out loud.

Sam's?

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Are you going to have to bring them into Chicago (or Milwaukee?)

Both!

8 days? Yikes man. You're going to need more a plan than going to the office

It’s the only plan I have. Yes it’s a bit ridiculous. I doubt I will ever complain about driving the 8 hours out to KAnsas to visit them for the holidays in the future, when we know enough to get the hell out of there after three nights.

I have MANY years of experience in trying to appreciate steaming piles of dogshit.

The picking up and taking back to airport has always annoyed me too. If you are an adult going on a trip you can afford to rent a vehicle.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Or you think maybe one of the relatives would be decent enough to say, "Hey you are going to have your hands full with the hosting and airport pickups, so we'll catch a cab or an Uber to your place. Maybe you can take us for our departing flight, but we'll cover at least one way no sweat."

Our hotel smelled like dead hooker vagina (before you ask I had gotten a detailed description from beardown)

The picking up and taking back to airport has always annoyed me too. If you are an adult going on a trip you can afford to rent a vehicle.

I feel your pain but I always find things to do for a few hours at a time. We have alot of holiday basketball Tournaments. I hit one of those. Go to movies. Go to a buddies basement and chill for awhile. Hell just walk around mall for a while.

The picking up and taking back to airport has always annoyed me too. If you are an adult going on a trip you can afford to rent a vehicle.

Yeah, I think I’m going to be expected to be around and visit for a good portion of the time so the office excuse is at least valid. The other thing I thought of doing is going to the DMV and getting one of those new drivers licenses. That should kill some time

I have MANY years of experience in trying to appreciate steaming piles of dogshit.

Two words, T: Top Golf.

I liked Top Golf. Seemed a little pricey though.

They didn't use the lube

$700 at the dealer for keys, programming, and a new battery. On top of the $75 tow and $100 diagnostic test at the mechanic I've already spent. Merry fucking Christmas.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Two words, T: Top Golf.

Friday I come home from work to find two telephone poles laid out in the front lawn. There was still snow on the ground, so the pockmarked lawn caused by depositing said treated lumber in my front lawn was not easily visible. Comed has no idea why they are there as no work is planned in our area. The better half is fixated on this calamity.

Somehow I know that dude from The Watchmen is behind this. What's a brother gotta do to get him to teleport this crap away?