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Don Tiny
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2016 11:54 pm 
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http://www.eater.com/drinks/2016/4/27/11148504/malort-liqueur-chicago-sommelier-new-york-city?utm_campaign=issue-45313&utm_medium=email&utm_source=Eater

What does a punch in the face taste like? Just try Malört. While a slew of companies now produce their own take on the bracingly bitter liqueur, the Jeppson's brand—originally distilled in Chicago, though now made in Florida—pioneered the wormwood-flavored drink that's based on a Scandinavian recipe similar to aquavit — and famously among the worst-tasting spirits on the market. Eater convinced 10 of New York's finest sommeliers to try the stuff. Added bonus: For most, this was their first time.

...

Thomas Pastuszak
The NoMad
"This smells like a combination of burning garbage and Ricola, with a massive wallop of alcohol ... on first taste, nothing but rubbing alcohol and smokey rubber ... I'm shocked with how little flavor there is relative to such an intense aroma. This is actually painful both to smell and taste, so bad that I keep going back, hoping to see if it gets better!"

...

Jeff Porter
Del Posto
"Pine-Sol, gasoline, lemon, and grapefruit pith, caraway seeds, fennel ... intense and an unpleasant, persistent finish of cleaning fluid."

...

Jack Mason
Marta
"On the nose ... saffron and yellow fruit characteristics are secondary to notes of fusel oil and burning lanolin—both of which come right out, full force. On the palate ... it is harsh, fiery, waxy and very savory ... tastes like a dry, more affordably version of Suze, with additional bitter herbs ... I’d say I now have a comprehensive understanding of Ralph Wiggum's descriptive phrase 'tastes like burning.'"

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Spaulding
PostPosted: Wed Apr 27, 2016 11:58 pm 
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Grappa is the worst booze I've ever had.
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pittmike
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 5:42 am 
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Should have had Cameron Hughes.

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good dolphin
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:27 am 
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Spaulding wrote:
Grappa is the worst booze I've ever had.


Truth

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Hatchetman
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:52 am 
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moonshine is pretty bad. gasoline fragrance is offputting. grappa is nothing.

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denisdman
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 8:59 am 
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"What does Alpana think?"

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W_Z
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:02 am 
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Malort just sounds shitty. like it translates to "garbage asshole". it's like a name of an orc in a Tolkein story.
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Regular Reader
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:12 am 
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The premise to this article seems to be little more than snooty New York professionals look with utter disdain upon the one alcoholic beverage made by the yokels in Chicago. As I already felt that malort is on par with grappa as the most horrid beverages that exist, and having long laughed at the "skills" a "professional" sommelier claims to have, why should I (even as a Chicagoan), care about this empty little article?

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JORR
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:29 am 
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They should have asked Chicago somms like Arthur Hon, Jen Schmitt, and Alpana.

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Don Tiny
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:37 am 
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Regular Reader wrote:
The premise to this article seems to be little more than snooty New York professionals look with utter disdain upon the one alcoholic beverage made by the yokels in Chicago. As I already felt that malort is on par with grappa as the most horrid beverages that exist, and having long laughed at the "skills" a "professional" sommelier claims to have, why should I (even as a Chicagoan), care about this empty little article?


It's just something to maybe read while you're pushing mud and perhaps have a small, sensible chuckle at people drinking something awful and trying to put words to their temporary misery ... nothing beyond that really.

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Regular Reader
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:38 am 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
They should have asked Chicago somms like Arthur Hon, Jen Schmitt, and Alpana.


In honor of the NFL Draft, maybe they should have had a Battle of the Sommeliers: NYC vs. "Chi-Town"! :pukel:

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Don Tiny
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:39 am 
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W_Z wrote:
Malort just sounds shitty. like it translates to "garbage asshole". it's like a name of an orc in a Tolkein story.


Can you say that but add a vocal fry?

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Regular Reader
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 10:41 am 
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Don Tiny wrote:
Regular Reader wrote:
The premise to this article seems to be little more than snooty New York professionals look with utter disdain upon the one alcoholic beverage made by the yokels in Chicago. As I already felt that malort is on par with grappa as the most horrid beverages that exist, and having long laughed at the "skills" a "professional" sommelier claims to have, why should I (even as a Chicagoan), care about this empty little article?


It's just something to maybe read while you're pushing mud and perhaps have a small, sensible chuckle at people drinking something awful and trying to put words to their temporary misery ... nothing beyond that really.


Oh I get that. I just have long been tired of the New York vs. Chicago bs.

(I'm not tired of the Sox/Cubs stuff, but this local yokel crap, ugh)

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Don Tiny
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 11:09 am 
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Regular Reader wrote:
Don Tiny wrote:
Regular Reader wrote:
The premise to this article seems to be little more than snooty New York professionals look with utter disdain upon the one alcoholic beverage made by the yokels in Chicago. As I already felt that malort is on par with grappa as the most horrid beverages that exist, and having long laughed at the "skills" a "professional" sommelier claims to have, why should I (even as a Chicagoan), care about this empty little article?


It's just something to maybe read while you're pushing mud and perhaps have a small, sensible chuckle at people drinking something awful and trying to put words to their temporary misery ... nothing beyond that really.


Oh I get that. I just have long been tired of the New York vs. Chicago bs.

(I'm not tired of the Sox/Cubs stuff, but this local yokel crap, ugh)


I'd radder drink dis Ma-lort stuff tree times a day den eat dat floppy, greasy, no-nuttin' "pizza", if youse can even call it dat, dat dey serve over by dere in dat New York City whatever.

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W_Z
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:04 pm 
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Don Tiny wrote:
W_Z wrote:
Malort just sounds shitty. like it translates to "garbage asshole". it's like a name of an orc in a Tolkein story.


Can you say that but add a vocal fry?


to "garbage asshole" or "tolkein story"?
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denisdman
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:09 pm 
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Regular Reader wrote:
Don Tiny wrote:
Regular Reader wrote:
The premise to this article seems to be little more than snooty New York professionals look with utter disdain upon the one alcoholic beverage made by the yokels in Chicago. As I already felt that malort is on par with grappa as the most horrid beverages that exist, and having long laughed at the "skills" a "professional" sommelier claims to have, why should I (even as a Chicagoan), care about this empty little article?


It's just something to maybe read while you're pushing mud and perhaps have a small, sensible chuckle at people drinking something awful and trying to put words to their temporary misery ... nothing beyond that really.


Oh I get that. I just have long been tired of the New York vs. Chicago bs.

(I'm not tired of the Sox/Cubs stuff, but this local yokel crap, ugh)


I travel to New York quite a bit. It still amazes me how many New Yorkers respond as follows when hearing that I am from Chicago:

"I have never been there but I hear it's cold in the winter." or "I have only been to O'Hare."

It seems like so many folks from New York never venture outside of the Northeast aside from the occasional Florida vacation.

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Don Tiny
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 3:24 pm 
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W_Z wrote:
Don Tiny wrote:
W_Z wrote:
Malort just sounds shitty. like it translates to "garbage asshole". it's like a name of an orc in a Tolkein story.


Can you say that but add a vocal fry?


to "garbage asshole" or "tolkein story"?

Why not both?

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George
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W_Z
PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2016 6:42 pm 
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good point.
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