Share a story of the worst roommates you've ever had.

Do it. Do it now.

Hoping for a November/IMU story.

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Thick as thieves.

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Rick Hahn is the best GM in baseball.

Had a roommate with PTSD who had quite a rage one night and tried to kill me. I cracked my head open on a radiator and he sort of snapped out it. He was a medic so he tried to stitch it up for me, but failed (painfully) and we wound up chugging a couple beers before taking the 49 bus to the hospital. I moved out a week later, no hard feelings.

This was at Cortland and Campbell, and there were 4 of us living there paying $250/mo each. Thank god Chicago doesn't have rent control or I would be kicking myself for leaving.

Or any feelings, because headwound

This wasn't a bad roommate, per se', but our first encounter was fucked up.

My first night of college, my buddy from high school and I met one of our other dorm roommates. We got to talking, and he told us he had an ounce of mushrooms. Being young and stupid, I of course thought we should eat some (on the first night of a new location completely surrounded by new people and tons of parents, etc). My buddy didn't want to, so the new guy and I ate them without him. We each ate a quarter. We later decided we needed a futon for the room, so I drove us to Wal-Mart to buy one. When we got to Wal-Mart, that shit started hitting us hard. I couldn't believe we went to get a fucking futon in that condition. We managed to get the futon to the register and pay (which was insanely difficult), and then after we got past the register, he throws up everywhere on the Wal-Mart floor. I couldn't believe it. He then freaks out and runs outside. Now, this is a big futon and I couldn't really carry it myself. Doing my best not to have a mental breakdown as everyone in Wal-Mart watched me ignore my roommate's puke and drag a futon outside while high on mushrooms, I noticed a guy from earlier in the day who lived in our dorm. I asked for his help and he led me to the car. I don't know if he ever realized that I was tripping balls.

I actually drove the futon back to the dorm by myself and didn't see the roommate until hours later. When I asked where he went, it didn't really make much sense, but he somehow made it back. We got along fine after that, but he was a weird dude and ended up transferring schools.

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Final year at ISU...me and a really good friend are getting a townhouse and need a third, so he gets a guy who he knows vaguely through his fiancé. Decent enough guy but lacked some common sense. Did dishes one time and the dishwasher broke. He was smart enough to tell us it broke so none of us would use it, but he wasn't smart enough to empty the dishwasher when it broke.

3 months later when the company we are leasing from gets around to sending someone to fix it, well, you can guess what that smelled/looked like.

leash's futon?

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

My freshman year roommate was an engineering student. He was out all night at the engineering library and slept all day. He was from Miami but his wardrobe consisted of jeans and heavy long sleeve shirts. He was pale as a ghost. He did bring video games to the room but he locked them up in a box when he left. My friend picked the lock and we played until the day he said he saw my teeth marks on the game console.

It is incredibly difficult to make friends when your roommate is a vampire.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

One of my roommates in grad school liked to have sex with his girlfriend while the door to their room was open.

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Live porn

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Be well

GO BEARS!!!

Did you join in?

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Yikes!

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

Y?

The only bad roommate I've ever had was my ex-wife.
#truth

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Kinda along the same lines, I've only ever lived with a girlfriend, or my wife.
The gf before I got married was/is an evil Caller Bob, so I'd say her.
One Sunday morning, she told me how much she loved me.
The Bears shit the bed later that day, which left me in a sour mood.
The following day, Monday, I get home from watching my nephew at about 8:30PM.
This bitch got off work in Buffalo Grove at around 5, got to Waukegan, and packed up 75% of her shit and left a dear john letter on the counter. "blah blah...........I don't love you, please take care of the cat."
Couldn't just have a conversation and end it, she had to drive and pack up like a maniac in the span of 3 hours.
The following weekend, she had her parents come to the apartment,basically threaten me to let them in before they called the cops, so they could get the rest of her bullshit.
This was a 29 year old woman, having her parents fight her battles.
Talk about a side swipe.
I haven't seen her ever since, I and fucking hate her to this day.

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Did Cutler throw a pick?

It was 2001, but he probably did throw one that day.............

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Just chillin' like Garret Quillin.

Like your trunk after you made potatos?

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

This is absolutely the best bad roommate story ever told:

http://www.wyseguys.com/blag/shitty-roommate/meet-jed/

You must not be squeamish, and you need about 15 to 30 minutes to read it all.... but it is the best.

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

what happened to the cat?

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'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.

When we were in our twenties, my friend Tom- who I am still good friends with today- and I lived in a shitty garden apartment at Ashland and Byron. The place was a fucking mess and you might expect with two young guys living there. The back door of the apartment opened into a basement where the laundry for all three apartments in the building was located, but we took that over and kind of made our apartment bigger. We used it for storage and even had a couch back there. We never locked the front door. Sometimes I would get up in the morning and our friend Rockin' Billy would be sleeping on one of the couches, having stumbled in some time during the night.

Anyway, I eventually moved out and got a nice apartment in Skokie. Tom started dating this goofy broad who he ended up marrying. One time they showed up at my apartment in Skokie. I had this place decorated pretty well. It looked like a real adult lived there. Tom's girlfriend said to me, "You know, when you guys lived together, I always thought you were the one who was the slob."

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Freedom is our Strength.

During college I lived at this apartment in Lakeview with 5 other people, all DePaul students. It was a nice place, but a little too big and expensive for guys and gals of our means. This lead to a rotating cast of roommates. I think in 3 years something like 16 different people lived there before everyone decided to go their separate ways. Some were cool- friends to this day- and some were fucking bonkers.

This one guy was OK to start off with, but after a while kinda went nuts. He stopped going to class and would spend all day in his room playing Final Fantasy, only emerging half clothed to use the bathroom (not to shower, mind you) or to steal shit from the fridge. He was the proverbial roommate that had to be instructed to put on pants in the presence of company.

Anyway, a bunch of us were siting in the living room one day watching the Bears lose, and this guy walked in -flabby and shirtless- carrying a loaf of white bread in one hand and a package of baloney in the other. All of the good seats were taken except for this grody old couch in the corner. Grody is, in fact, being being kind, this thing was a fucking science experiment. It was old when I brought it, and it had spent the past two years absorbing the various bodily fluids of many a party goer, in the process going from light blue to something generally resembling the color of a booger. Most people refused to sit on it, but none of this seemed to bother my roommate.

He sat on the couch and (completely ignoring the table in front of him) flopped two slices of white bread down on the cushion. He opened the package of baloney and then proceeded to slap the whole thing (all 4 fingers worth) on one slice of bread before flipping the now polka dotted second slice on top to complete his sandwich/monstrosity. Sitting there watching him eat suddenly Johnathan Quinn's quarterbacking didn't seem so bad...

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"Now comes good sailing. Moose. Indian."

Freshman year of college had me in a four guy dorm suite with three strangers. Two engineers, a pilot, and an Agribusiness major. I am still friends with two of the guys. The only good thing from the fourth was the invention of the "Dave's Dick Wiggle Drip Catcher". Poster board with two footprints much closer than he ever stood, and an empty butter container taped in between. He never got the hint.

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My wife refuses to put the toilet seat up.

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