My dear departed daughter was really a funny person. Kids humor sometimes though is you have to have been there to see/hear it. Anyway were expecting our second kid and while sitting around asked her (2 1/2 at the time) how we would get the baby out her mom's belly. She deadpanned "with a rope".

My wife was driving with my older daughter in the car. I was on the phone with them, as we were meeting for dinner and trying to decide where to go. My wife asks Madison what she wants to eat. Her answer, "penguin" (full disclosure, the kid is obsessed with penguins). So my wife asks her what she wants to eat penguin with, fully expecting french fries as the standard response. Madison, "WITH TEETH", and she proceeds to bite her teeth together then laughs maniacally.

From that day forward, anytime she gets fish, she's eating penguin.

My daughter, when she was 4, was in a "future-telling" phase.

She told my wife (while laughing) she would die alone.

There was something funny I overheard yesterday about one of the older ones making the younger one walk around in "the bag of shame." I can only imagine how the bag was created and what the shame was to earn it.

My daughter, when she was 4, was in a "future-telling" phase.

She told my wife (while laughing) she would die alone.

When my oldest son, Dr. Ken Jr. I, was young I would frequently ask him something and end it with "Did you hear me?" I'd say it fairly quickly.

After a few years of me doing this, when he was about 5, I said it to him again and he looked back and asked "Why do you always call me 'Jeremy'?

My son and I were leaving my house for him to get a haircut and my MIL was still over at our house and she was about to leave also. She said to my son "Give me a kiss before you leave cuz I wont see you when you get home."


Son says calm as can be

You can't see me
Along with the John Cena hand wave over his face.

My daughter stops whatever she is doing every Monday night when Bayley's music hits or she hear Enzo start his spiel.

I actually have video of my son doing the Sasha Banks walkout complete with the glasses. Im saving that for blackmail down the line.

I remember running into a midget, not Tall Midget, when my son was about 5 and him pointing and asking why that man was as tall as him. I scooped him up and got the fuck out of there.

Dude same shit happens to me at the gym I go to. They have a daycare there and the kids hang out while I work out and wife is at work. There is a midget that works there and my son always freaks out when he sees him. I feel like the worst parent ever.

Dude same shit happens to me at the gym I go to. They have a daycare there and the kids hang out while I work out and wife is at work. There is a midget that works there and my son always freaks out when he sees him. I feel like the worst parent ever.

My son was in the stage where he hated wearing clothes, anytime he would change clothes he would take forever and think it was the height of comedy to run around the house naked. I told him to stop and said "How would you like it if I ran around the house naked?" He fired back right away, "No one would like that Daddy because they don't want to see your big belly."

I blame Peppa Pig and the acceptance of making fun of fat dads.