There's so many times I'm riding PubTrans and I see a chick like YEAH THIS IS WHY I NEED TO DO BETTER IN LIFE!!!!! but I have no idea what's the best way to stylishly break the ice to let her know I:m great future ex-boyfriend material....

But then I remembered I hang out on the C/S/FMB, home of pimps players and people way more successful than me... And Tall Midget who can help me find a wife at vocab camp for fuck's sake!!

SO SERIOUSLY WTF HAVE I BEEN DOING?!?; plz help me C/S/FMB... What's a 6-sho (not just 4-sho) pickup line guaranteed to "wet the worm" if I employ it on pubtrans? PLZ HALP... Best pickup line wins a t-shirt!!!

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just ask her a question that cant be answered with a yes or no, and ask in a way that makes it seem like shes a normal person. as shes giving you an answer, think of a follow up question. when shes done breathing shit out of her mouth, ask her the follow up. repeat this until its your stop or hers, and right before you part ways just say, in a hastily tone, it was fun and would like to get some coffee with her sometime.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

"Hey fatty, let me get some of that popcorn before you Hoover it all up."

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

boom, took 3 posts for the reply I was waiting for

Also

"Hey fatty, why don't you clean up after you spill shit all over the floor. Yeah don't pretend it wasn't you ya fat ginger"

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Tell her:

*All aboard,my next stop is between your tits.

*I just bought an all day pass to stare at your rack.

*Excuse me,may I slip you a "mickey"? Don't panic,Mickey is just my dick's name.

*You can really fall asleep easy on these train rides. A good BJ usually puts me to sleep pretty fast.

*Do you follow politics? uh-huh,ok...suck my dick.

*Do you enjoy the train? uh-huh,ok...suck my dick.

*Hey, how about Country music? uh-huh,ok...suck my dick.

Good luck,one of these should work

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

C'est la vie

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B-BUT BROGUE, I'M NOT TRYING TO PICK UP JULIE DI CARO!!!!

(seriously dude, I like having a functional lower back and all kinds of various tendons + muscles that are decidedly not-torn =)

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Talk about your job.
Chicks dig that.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Wanna fuck?

Don't talk to strangers on the L. Talking to strangers on Amtrak/Megabus is cool.

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that's why this dude put himself in his own hall of fame. look at that WORLD CLASS WIT!!!!!!!1

what darko fails to realize is that, technically, i'm good enough at talking to say i work just about any job that isn't one of those "GOOD. MONIED. PEOPLE." who "aren't in the cheap seats" that beerstain gets all hot and bothered about. when it comes to being "salt of the earth" seriously, if you bring a pound of popcorn + potato chips i got you covered!

but let's all take a second to reflect on the glorious hee-haw that we just had because darko brilliantly reminded everyone that sini sure ain't a good upstanding 9-5er like the rest of us!.... and seriously, that's why the dude has elected himself to his own hall of fame!

(yes i know it's some stupid CSFMB HOF, but you wouldn't remember it exists unless captain "relative greatness" over here reminded you that it exists WITH EVERY HALL OF FAME POST THAT HE MAKES!)

and yes, whoever said basically "nice shoes, wanna fuck?!" -- that's roughly the clubhouse leader here. i'm going to give this thread time to air out and there will really be a t-shirt for the winner [and hey in lieu of somebody thinking i'mma "keep score" of your info, shit, i can just leave it outside a bar or a cubs game or something if there isn't a CFMB meetup down the road =]

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Wow.
You're really sensitive.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

yet another [HALL OF FAME] dumbass post from a dumbass!

...and i love it when he gets all proud of himself for the whole "master ruseman" bit [see: the here and now] and thinks that if he just keeps doing the content-equivalent of an ALT+0160 that he's "duh, winning!" because he can compel me to flip him off a couple'a more times.

#realtalk darko: this thread is NOT for you cuz trust me, lord knows i don't need any help from you cuz i wanna "aim a little higher" than going for a chick who sees lakemoor as "a dream worth fighting for."

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And did you think insulting my wife was going to work?
Again, you're way too easy to set off. I love watching you lose your shit at the slightest provocation.
Thank you.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Prepare for disappointment.

You are really going to resort to insulting Darko's wife?

Weak. Real weak.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

dude, i don't know your wife and i only generalized about her as an extension of you..... there's obviously nothing personal here, but notice your faux-populism here [HOF! HOF! HOF!] where you're "subtly" trying to "rally the troops" to have your back because sini crossed a line and you don't do that here, so have at em boys! IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE HE'S DRAGGING MY WIFE INTO THIS FOR FUCK'S SAKE! "THIS AGGRESSION WILL NOT STAND, MAN!" - the dude

darko, you have what..... 43000+ posts? i'd be fucking amazed if you had more than 5-10 things to say over the years. and the reason i "take the bait" when you do your schtick where you pop up in one of my threads and ad-hominem me ("gee, i wonder if he's trying to derail my threads so any up-n-back between darko and me kills any/all discussion about the topic/subject? hmmm idk guys) = while you THINK you're the "master ruseman" who's pushing my buttons and making me freak out so "your people" can enjoy a laugh at my expense with you like "LOL THAT SINI SUUUUUURRREEE IS A NUTJOB, AMIRITE GUYS?!" --- honestly, i do what i do for the same exact reason i just typed out: i know there's at least a few people here who love it when i go out of my way to sideswipe you like "fuck off back to your circlejerk threads where you can commiserate with your nothing-to-say-brethern"

cuz seriously dude, say what you want about me..... BUT AT LEAST THERE'S SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT ME!

...and i'm not gonna elect myself to my own hall of fame because of that!

MORAL OF THE STORY = stay in your lane, "darkside", because quoteth lateef the truth speaker[/quote]



(and what # did lester hayes wear? hrmmmmm >=)

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My! So many angry words you have there!
Anyway good luck picking up chicks on the bus.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

wow, so when i basically know nothing about his wife other than she's married to some dipshit and living in lakemoor, and i make the most superficial jab possible that was really making fun of darkside Himself.... welp, thereyago! i called that shit! it's nigh time to start up a new meme SINI DISSED DARKSIDE'S WIFE!!!!

...and of course, darko's "back" is another charter-member of my fanclub in the [perennially-last-place in Nas' baseball league] magnanimous RFDC (which stands for ??? -- i go with "really fucking dumb Caller Bob" personally =)

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I'll give you advice. Are you looking for easy pussy or a wife?

and the best part about you is that you get all smug and satisfied like "lol, i ruined another one of his threads! so predictable!... plus i've just convinced everyone that he seriously insulted my wife!"

but you know how stupid darkside is? he doesn't realize that if "sini insulted darko's wife" then he's basically copping to saying that calling someone "a person who wants to live in lakemoor" is an insult!

i mean..... lol dude, don't you see why i love fucking with you? you provide all the fun that comes from "fucking with corky thatcher" but none of the shame that comes from "oh shit i think i just made fun of a 'chromosomally challenged' person!"

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If you really don't think that was an insult at his wife then you really are fucking stupid.

Yes, you and I have a history around here. But I have ignored your ignorance for the last couple of years. But it just is not cool to take a shot at his wife. Go after him all you want. I have no problem with that. Darko can handle himself. Just leave his wife out of it. It is simple enough that even you can understand.

Nice sideswipe regarding Nas baseball league....the baseball league that you have absolutely lost your shit and acted like a completely whiney ass baby because you did not get your way....

And yes I maybe a Really Fucking Dumb Caller Bob (nice work by the way, you are only about the 10,000th person to make that joke), but I am a Really Fucking Dumb Caller Bob that has a woman. Something you probably won't ever have.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

obviously pussy dude.... and #realtalk = i obviously don't need much/any help with this, i just thought it'd be a fun thread to see what kinds of crazy pickup lines you pantless cretins could toss out there...

...BUT THEN DARKO GIGGLED AND SAID TO HIMSELF 'I'M GONNA PUSH HIS BUTTONS AND GET HIM TO RUIN HIS OWN THREAD.... WATCH!' AND #ThisIsWhyWeCantHaveNiceThings

seriously, it's like darko has never played a decent 2D fighting game and realized if you're playing as a character where you gotta charge back then hit forward+punch/kick that like, you gotta charge back to go forward... so in this case that's enticing him to continue his 'transcendental smugness' until i get him to actually go out and proclaim/confess that saying that someone wants to live in lakemoor is an insult!

....and he really thinks he wins all these exchanges by default because i'm me!

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If you want to pick up a chick (kinda greasy attitude at your age but we'll forgive that) here's a few things that help...

1) have something to offer women.
2) if your kitchen and bathroom are clean the rest of the place really doesn't matter. Women need a clean bathroom. They need a clean kitchen.
3) being able to speak coherently to women is pretty important. You can't tldr your way thru a date. In fact, for once, shut the fuck up. Women need to talk. The sexiest thing to a woman is the sound of her own voice. You should only speak to ask leading questions that involve her speaking at great lengths preferably about herself.
4) if you're weird they be uncomfortable. Uncomfortabme means they won't show you their fun parts.
5) you need your own pad.
6) picking up decent women on a bus or train in inherently flawed. Women need you to be independent. In other words, you need a decent ride. In other words, bus hook ups are a paradox.


Get a place. Get a car. Get your shit together. Women come naturally thereafter.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

IT'S OFFICIAL! saying that someone wants to live in lakemoor *IS* an insult..... "or you're really fucking stupid"

and hey RFDC, dude, just do the world a favor and STFU and get back to working on finishing 18th-20th like you do every year cuz [2cool4school excuses] --- i had a legit bit of umbrage at the time, but you know what? whatever.... if people gotta have arbitrary-as-fuck keeper deadlines that essentially only apply to one person [go figure that person is a 3x-defending-champion who literally called said dominance way back in 2011] then at the end of the day it's flattering and the baseball gods will provide to me cuz we've got a pretty good working relationship.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

jesus christ almighty someone get me a fucking psychic hotline!

(but at this point darkside KNOWS that RFDC and others are reading this, so he's just gotta mug for the audience by ironically going TLDR on "the basics" like i seriously have no clue about women. i was just trying to see if the C/S/FMB could be entertaining on a potentially fun-topic, but instead i ended up with a bunch of dumbass darkside posts that say nothing original or otherwise-interesting...... kind of a "c'est la C/S/FMB" deal, huh? =)

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I'm pretty damn sure you have very little experience with women.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

He doesn't need a woman. He has his fantasy baseball gods to fall back on. They will take care of him.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Do they ride the train/bus?

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Lol...
This post reminds me of the movies where dude says boobs feel like a bag of sand.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014