Note: Never been but this is apparently just a trendy pizzeria. Some view this dress code as racist or geared towards the poor. I'm not sure about that but it certainly seems excessive and broad.

The full dress code:

• No bad attitude or behavior
Well, I'm out after rule one

• No excessively baggie, sagging, ripped, dirty, frayed, overly flashy or bright clothing
Why do they hate Don Cherry?

• No matching colors of the shoes, hat and/or shirt
What? You mean like you have to wear brown shoes with a tuxedo and a puke-green flat cap?

• No Hawaiian, tie dye, floral, skull prints or anything else obnoxious
Like these 99 Theses regarding entry to a fucking pizza joint?

• No gang attire (leather cuts, colors or insignia) and no camouflage
That's only because if the camo is good enough the waitstaff would never see the patron

• No embellishments or statement jackets, shirts, beanies or hats
I hope this place burns to the ground, and soon

• No rude, vulgar or offensive clothing
At this point you might as well walk in naked

• No overly large purses or bags. Backpacks must be coat checked if available
Why? So they don't rob you blind of your (apparently Swarovski crystal) red pepper flake dispensers?

• No skateboards, hoverboards or animals
Well now we're getting somewhere

• No plain white tees, long tees, denim, flannel (not even around one's waist) or zippers on shirts
See my comment about nakedness

• No cut-off shirts, deep V-necks, undershirts or mesh shirts. Tank tops before 6 p.m. only
Jeans are no good ever but tank tops are great until 6pm?

• No sports jerseys (except during games and of the appropriate team)
Appropriate to whom?

• No Tapout, Ed Hardy, Affliction or MMA brands
It appears somebody snuck in a few sensible rules

• No shearling/fur by cracky, leather, jean jackets, short-sleeve hoodies or overly long hoodies
You already mentioned denim you stupid Caller Bobs

• No puffer/quilted jackets or vests and no novelty sweaters
Merry Fuckin' Christmas!

• No hoodies underneath shirts or jackets
Well that just means you're a 'tard if you're doing that, so I doubt they could accidentally stumble their way into what apparently is a 4-star Michelin dining establishment

• No overalls, cargo, bleached/stone/acid-washed, odd-colored or leather pants
Seriously ... I'll split the cost of gasoline and strike-anywhere matches with someone

• No joggers, manpris, drop crotch pants or pants with numerous zippers
"manpris" is underlined as not a real word on my screen, which tells me this might be a good rule too

• No athletic wear, like Under Armour, sweats, gym shoes and etc.
I thought appropriate team wear was acceptable? What kind of fuckwagon expects their patrons to wear a Bulls jersey but a pair of Oxfords?

• No compression pants underneath shorts or rolled-up jeans
Again, we've already addressed the denim issue you dumb dicks

• No jean shorts, and other shorts must be no longer than 1 inch past your knees
DENIM!!!!!!!!!! Who put this fucking list together, the Alzheimer's wing in the Neurology Department over at Loyola?

• No Jordans, Nike Air Max or Air Force [shoes]
Do these knob-gobblers realize they're in Chicagoland? And didn't they just get done mentioning no gym shoes?

• No high tops, high socks or athletic sneakers (Chucks and Vans are allowed)
Again, gym shoes ... and do they mean guys named Chuck can wear sneakers? How about Rodeo Vann?

• Shoes are required at all times (no sandals after 8 p.m.)
Hockey Gay approved

• Dress boots must be fully laced up (no work boots)
Christ forbid the very idea of a working man enjoying a slice of pie

• Hats must be worn at all times (no stickers or tags)
Even though I'm pretty sure they don't mean you must wear some hat that hasn't been previously banned, it honestly wouldn't surprise me if I was wrong on that count

• No brimless headgear
Take that, Jews!

• No male jewelry (chains are not allowed in the establishment at all)
So, apparently no wops allowed at a pizza joint? Next they'll be keeping the Jews out of the local Nosh spot. And does that mean a guy could wear, say, women's hoop earrings? How very progressive

• No visible tattoos on neck, face or hands
How would a face or hand tattoo not be visible? Still, at least they got the last one right.

This has to be a marketing ploy gone wrong. Who the fuck is going to read that entire list? Did they hire sini to pen that thing?

*No Blacks

*No Mexicans

*Jews allowed but(have to make over 136K/year)

Might losing their liquor license anyway: https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/2017060 ... iver-north

I think the obtained a liquor license as a restaurant but they turn into a club at about 9 pm

the bit about how your hats can't match your shirt AND/OR your shoes is a dealbreaker for me.

Well my sister, the Northbrook-residing carrier of the big purse, is OUT.
Her husband, the vikings fan, is OUT.
My wife, the occasional wearer of jean shorts, is OUT.
As for me, other than a ski cap for sub zero weather, don't even own a hat. OUT.