So apparently there is a shoplifting sub-reddit (I weep for humanity too) and some genius on there who is currently on probation (and has another case pending) suggested that if a loss protection officer stops you in store while shoplifting, just tell them you have a gun even though you don't. I can't possibly see how this could go wrong.

https://np.reddit.com/r/Shoplifting/com ... ou_have_a/

Almost as bad as saying you are a sovereign citizen...

My stepfather was a professional shoplifter. He would find that utterly ridiculous.

My stepfather was a professional shoplifter. He would find that utterly ridiculous.

Of all your stories, you leave us to hang on this shit.

There is more fiction in reddit comments than there is in the Bible.

Exactly. Neckbeard fan fiction.

I've talked about it before. He had a big shirt and oversized pants and he stole meat. He then had a route of suburban housewives who would buy the stuff at a 50% reduction. Sometimes they would even make special requests, like, "Hey John, could you get me a standing rib roast for Easter?" Have you ever seen a man with a side of beef in his pants? Besides Justin Theroux, I mean.

what did he steal ? Batteries ?

I've talked about it before. He had a big shirt and oversized pants and he stole meat. He then had a route of suburban housewives who would buy the stuff at a 50% reduction. Sometimes they would even make special requests, like, "Hey John, could you get me a standing rib roast for Easter?" Have you ever seen a man with a side of beef in his pants? Besides Justin Theroux, I mean.

I can't possibly see how this could go wrong.

This reminds me of when I quixotically feel the need to msg a crazy-fine chick on /r/gonewild (THE only reason to ever go on Reddit, btw) like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

...at least a couple of them had enterprising ideas like selling used panties+clothes to the desperate redditors out there!

I've talked about it before. He had a big shirt and oversized pants and he stole meat. He then had a route of suburban housewives who would buy the stuff at a 50% reduction. Sometimes they would even make special requests, like, "Hey John, could you get me a standing rib roast for Easter?" Have you ever seen a man with a side of beef in his pants? Besides Justin Theroux, I mean.

That's awesome.

If someone asked what he did for a living he liked to say, "I am a Jewel thief."

what are your favorite subreddits

I think a lot of good work gets lost in the immensity of the place.

The thing I've noticed with Reddit throughout the years is you have a lot of story tellers and professional trolls who like to indulge the masses with barely believable posts. I still go back multiple times a day tho.

I've talked about it before. He had a big shirt and oversized pants and he stole meat. He then had a route of suburban housewives who would buy the stuff at a 50% reduction. Sometimes they would even make special requests, like, "Hey John, could you get me a standing rib roast for Easter?" Have you ever seen a man with a side of beef in his pants? Besides Justin Theroux, I mean.

what are your favorite subreddits

I think a lot of good work gets lost in the immensity of the place.

what are your favorite subreddits

I think a lot of good work gets lost in the immensity of the place.