"daaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaa. Sometimes I peeeee in a juuug."
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| Sometimes I pee in a jug https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=106948 |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 2:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Sometimes I pee in a jug |
I dont always like to ask customers if i could use their bathroom. Ive been told that a professional doesnt do that, although any time ive had a worker in my house i always point out the bathroom. So i have a 1 gallon water bottle in my truck. As the truck is big enough to stand in i just hop in back close the door and pee in a bottle. A couple years ago i went to a no cooling call. The problem was that the system was low on refrigerant. This is not uncommon in old systems such as this one but the customer was convinced Obama stole her refrigerant. I said i can dona leak search and try to pinpoint the leak if you like. She said no need. She knows where it went. Obama stole it. I gassed up the system and asked her how she plans on keeping obama from stealing her refrigerant again. She said "i have ways" Its not uncommon to find condensers stolen from peoples yards, particarly as you vet closer to the city. Had a call earlier this june and found that the whole damn outdoor coil had been stolen. The customer asked me if i could fix it as she was having company in a hour. I said we'd need to install a new ac. She was shocmed that i didnt just have one in my truck and couldnt have it up and running within the hour. At 7pm. An older lady called in convinced that a bird was stuck in her ductwork. She said she could hear it tweeting. In fact she said she could hear it tweeting every 90 seconds. I told her i could fix the problem if she had a 9 volt battery. She asked if i was going to electrify the ductwork. I said no i think i sbould start by changing the batteries in yuour smoke detector. That resolved the bird issue. Went to a furnace maintenance in algonquin in 2012. When i got to the basement there was just this stench of rotting shit... homeowner tells me to ignore it, it just the dead squirrels. I counted 7 of them down there in various states of decay before i stopped looking around and de-assed the area with the quickness. Its not unusual to find dead animals in the flue pipes of furnaces that cause pressure switch or blocked vent safety switch failures but one custoner insisted i planted the half rotted bird in the flue myself to sell service calls. Those birds dont live in illinois she told me. I said do you think im importing birds and sneaking into peoples homes and stuffing them into furnaces on the chance they'll call my company of all the service companies and we'll get a couple hundred bucks for the fix? She said absolutely and told me to leave. Before i brough a pee jug with me i was sent to an EMERGENCY heating call. I was told to hurry because the homeowner told the dispatcher shed die if she didnt have heat immediately. I drove there from my last call, took about an hour. When i diagnosed the problem and went upstairs to quote her the repair price before starting the work i said by the way may i impose upon you to use your restroom for a quick second? Ive bad lots of coffee tbis morning and hurried here without stopping. She said "No! I have CHILDREN". |
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| Author: | Curious Hair [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 2:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
"daaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaa. Sometimes I peeeee in a juuug." |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 3:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
How do you get your vagina centered over the hole? |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 3:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
leashyourkids wrote: How do you get your vagina centered over the hole? Your mom showed me how to do it. |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 3:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: How do you get your vagina centered over the hole? Your mom showed me how to do it. Take care to not touch the edge of the bottle opening with your clitoris. |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 3:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: How do you get your vagina centered over the hole? Your mom showed me how to do it. She did mention she sold a milk jug for $50 to some shmuck who was garage sale-hopping for a portable toilet. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 3:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
leashyourkids wrote: Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: How do you get your vagina centered over the hole? Your mom showed me how to do it. She did mention she sold a milk jug for $50 to some shmuck who was garage sale-hopping for a portable toilet. Did she tell you what i got for the other $50? |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 3:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: How do you get your vagina centered over the hole? Your mom showed me how to do it. She did mention she sold a milk jug for $50 to some shmuck who was garage sale-hopping for a portable toilet. Did she tell you what i got for the other $50? Pointing and laughing? |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 3:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: How do you get your vagina centered over the hole? Your mom showed me how to do it. She did mention she sold a milk jug for $50 to some shmuck who was garage sale-hopping for a portable toilet. Did she tell you what i got for the other $50? No. She just said she sent you on your way with no charge for a few more items after you tried to pay for them with a Twix wrapper that had $50 written on it. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
leashyourkids wrote: Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: How do you get your vagina centered over the hole? Your mom showed me how to do it. She did mention she sold a milk jug for $50 to some shmuck who was garage sale-hopping for a portable toilet. Did she tell you what i got for the other $50? No. She just said she sent you on your way with no charge for a few more items after you tried to pay for them with a Twix wrapper that had $50 written on it.  Twix wrapper... Thats wonderful. |
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| Author: | Urlacher's missing neck [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Gatorade works the best. Just enough volume and big enough opening. |
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| Author: | jimmypasta [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Urlacher's missing neck wrote: Just enough volume and big enough opening. insert DiCaro joke here |
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| Author: | ToxicMasculinity [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
I wash myself with a rag on a stick |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
ToxicMasculinity wrote: I wash myself with a rag on a stick I think we all assumed that. |
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| Author: | Curious Hair [ Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
ToxicMasculinity wrote: I wash myself with a rag on a stick *polite applause* |
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| Author: | Brick [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Is this a real thing? I never would have thought why you would deny someone the ability to use a bathroom in your house. This is why in my house we have a bathroom for "working class" people that we don't use to avoid any issues. |
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| Author: | SpiralStairs [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Boilermaker Rick wrote: Is this a real thing? I never would have thought why you would deny someone the ability to use a bathroom in your house. This is why in my house we have a bathroom for "working class" people that we don't use to avoid any issues. Is it a one gallon jug in the back of a work van? |
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| Author: | BeerFan [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Every smart camper has a piss jar. Mine is a plastic jug from Wally World. They say that Ben Rhodes held Obama's Presidential Container. "is it safe"--Bob Vila 'no, I have children"--Homemaker #PissTube |
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| Author: | Nas [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Boilermaker Rick wrote: Is this a real thing? I never would have thought why you would deny someone the ability to use a bathroom in your house. This is why in my house we have a bathroom for "working class" people that we don't use to avoid any issues. Yeah Darkside might use your wife's toothbrush or sniff her towel. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Nas wrote: Boilermaker Rick wrote: Is this a real thing? I never would have thought why you would deny someone the ability to use a bathroom in your house. This is why in my house we have a bathroom for "working class" people that we don't use to avoid any issues. Yeah Darkside might use your wife's toothbrush or sniff her towel. You say that like its wrong. |
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| Author: | Brick [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 7:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Nas wrote: Boilermaker Rick wrote: Is this a real thing? I never would have thought why you would deny someone the ability to use a bathroom in your house. This is why in my house we have a bathroom for "working class" people that we don't use to avoid any issues. Yeah Darkside might use your wife's toothbrush or sniff her towel. |
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| Author: | Hank Scorpio [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
I let a guy that was working on our furnace use the bathroom and he pissed all over the bowl. This was prior to kids so I couldn't just blame it on my son. It was clearly the furnace guy. I have always wanted to say no after that but I just feel like it would be a dick move. No other issues before or after the rogue urine sprayer. |
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| Author: | Caller Bob [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Yeah, you have to be a real asshole not to let a contractor/service tech use the restroom at your house. Of course I'm pretty nice, I always offer a pop, water and beer(if they are done for the day). |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Hank Scorpio wrote: I let a guy that was working on our furnace use the bathroom and he pissed all over the bowl. This was prior to kids so I couldn't just blame it on my son. It was clearly the furnace guy. I have always wanted to say no after that but I just feel like it would be a dick move. No other issues before or after the rogue urine sprayer. "dick move" lol |
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| Author: | hnd [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
while doing a webinar, i had to pee, i thought i was going to die. someone had bought me this tub of cheeseballs or something from bass pro shops and it was about empty sitting on my shelf behind my desk. i emptied what was left into the trash and peed in the tub. just got on my knees and went. while still talking. my boss was getting our FL office going and i told him and he didn't believe me, so i sent him a pic. |
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| Author: | SpiralStairs [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
hnd wrote: while doing a webinar, i had to pee, i thought i was going to die. someone had bought me this tub of cheeseballs or something from bass pro shops and it was about empty sitting on my shelf behind my desk. i emptied what was left into the trash and peed in the tub. just got on my knees and went. while still talking. my boss was getting our FL office going and i told him and he didn't believe me, so i sent him a pic. Should have left the cheeseballs in there, like an ice in the urinal type situation. |
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| Author: | sjboyd0137 [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 9:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Caller Bob wrote: Yeah, you have to be a real asshole not to let a contractor/service tech not use the restroom at your house. Of course I'm pretty nice, I always offer a pop, water and beer(if they are done for the day). Me too. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 11:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Caller Bob wrote: Yeah, you have to be a real asshole not to let a contractor/service tech not use the restroom at your house. Of course I'm pretty nice, I always offer a pop, water and beer(if they are done for the day). So far today im 0/3 on offers of something cold to drink after fixing an ac. |
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| Author: | sjboyd0137 [ Mon Jun 12, 2017 12:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Sometimes I pee in a jug |
Darkside wrote: Caller Bob wrote: Yeah, you have to be a real asshole not to let a contractor/service tech not use the restroom at your house. Of course I'm pretty nice, I always offer a pop, water and beer(if they are done for the day). So far today im 0/3 on offers of something cold to drink after fixing an ac. That's some bullshit. It's 900 fucking degrees outside. People are assholes. |
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