Sitting in the garage watching the rain.

A few neighborhood teenagers start hitting around a tennis ball in the cul-de-sac.

They accidentally hit it up near my house. I don't care at all... just glad they're having fun.

They fight over who has to go get it. The one who drew the short straw sprints into my yard, grabs the ball, looks at me and says "Hi, sir. Sorry for hitting it in your yard. Won't do it again." I started to tell them it's okay and convince them I was cool, but deep down I knew it was a lost cause. I'm just an old, sad man who hates fun.

I'm so depressed, I might start endorsing Bob Cousy.

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Can't handle plays but watching rain gets you going?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Cul-de-sac humblebrag.

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You know me like that.

Are you okay?

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Successful calls:

Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

2013 CSFMB ROY

It's not old it's wise

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I'm going to bounce from the spot for awhile but I will be back at some point to argue with you about this hoops stuff again. Playoffs have been great this season. See ya up the road.

I'm out.

Yes.

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Even cul-de-sacs are bourgeois now?

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I am from God's country. This is what we do, no matter how much Dr. Ken tries to act like he's above it.

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I love you, Walt, but it's old.

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I sit on the porch and watch it rain. I'm not sure if that's better or worse than the garage.

Buy a motorcycle.

Those kids will think you're the shit.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

Fat drunk stupid old and gay is no way to go thru life, son.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

LeashYourTorino

I would have ball-batted him into a coma and shoved the tennis ball up his ass.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

Yeah, then he could sit on a motorcycle in his garage and watch it rain.

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

We had a big ol' picture window facing West from our kitchen table. Nothing better than watching the weather roll in from about 45 minutes out. The original HDTV.

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You know me like that.

So the neighborhood kids wander without fear but leash has to hide in the garage in fear from coyotes?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

He apparently didn't have the door closed and the cars running, so yes, sadly.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

i just convince myself millenials have this thing about calling every dude they see "sir".

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Our neighbor right behind us when I was a kid was a real grumpy old guy. I remember the fear that would come over us boys trying to determine who would go get our ball when it would go over the fence.

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"He is a loathsome, offensive brute
--yet I can't look away."

Dino Caparelli, the old man whose backyard joined ours, would take our baseballs or tennis balls of they went over the fence. He would scream at us for climbing the fence too. Eventually we stopped going after them. When the old fart finally kicked the bucket he probably had 100 baseballs in his house.
Old bastard.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

What a prick.

We had one of those in our neighborhood. Old lady would scream at us when we would try to get our baseballs back.

Actually, you're probably used to riding a Scooter.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

This was always a mystery to me as our neighbors could give a crap if we kids had to go grab a ball at most our groups houses. They were bigger yards so it was pretty rare but really one one house had an a hole neighbor of any consequence. As long as we didn't foul straight back we were good.

Don't act like you don't stare out at the rain and write melancholy songs about how your cat ran away, you hippie.

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Folding lawn chair drinking a Busch beer?

I've never given any shit to the kids next door for kicking a soccer ball over the fence into my house (which they did constantly... thump thump WHAM thump) but i lost my shit a bit when that drunken bastard bkught them a bb gun. I just knew it was trouble. Tbey started off just shooting targets in the backyard but i finally found a bb in the taillight of my truck on the side facing their house and i went over there and asked dad to either take the gun away or confine them to their targets only. He was pissed the fuck off at the kid. Felt kinda like ralphie when he rats out his buddy and you hear mom kicking the shit out of him over the phone. He made him come over and offer to pay for the taillight.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Close the door and turn on your car.