So apparently there is a shoplifting sub-reddit (I weep for humanity too) and some genius on there who is currently on probation (and has another case pending) suggested that if a loss protection officer stops you in store while shoplifting, just tell them you have a gun even though you don't. I can't possibly see how this could go wrong.

https://np.reddit.com/r/Shoplifting/com ... ou_have_a/

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

Almost as bad as saying you are a sovereign citizen...

Yeah, that doesn't get you really far either

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“When I walked in this morning, and saw the flag was at half mast, I thought 'alright another bureaucrat ate it.'" - Ron Swanson

My stepfather was a professional shoplifter. He would find that utterly ridiculous.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Of all your stories, you leave us to hang on this shit.

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what did he steal ? Batteries ?

The thing I've noticed with Reddit throughout the years is you have a lot of story tellers and professional trolls who like to indulge the masses with barely believable posts. I still go back multiple times a day tho.

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I've talked about it before. He had a big shirt and oversized pants and he stole meat. He then had a route of suburban housewives who would buy the stuff at a 50% reduction. Sometimes they would even make special requests, like, "Hey John, could you get me a standing rib roast for Easter?" Have you ever seen a man with a side of beef in his pants? Besides Justin Theroux, I mean.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

There is more fiction in reddit comments than there is in the Bible.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Exactly. Neckbeard fan fiction.

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Moses was the original neckbeard.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Jon Hamm

He stole books from Brentano's. He's an old man, he's confused!

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

_________________
Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

This reminds me of when I quixotically feel the need to msg a crazy-fine chick on /r/gonewild (THE only reason to ever go on Reddit, btw) like WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!

...at least a couple of them had enterprising ideas like selling used panties+clothes to the desperate redditors out there!

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How many pairs did you buy?

That's awesome.

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If someone asked what he did for a living he liked to say, "I am a Jewel thief."

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

what are your favorite subreddits

I think a lot of good work gets lost in the immensity of the place.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

do people in the shoplifting subreddit use their real names as their usernames?

Amidst the sea of shit, I found this one late last week -- /r/NeutralPolitics/ -- at a glance it would seem it really tries to foster civil discussion about issues without the 4th-grade nonsense commensurate with just about every other political-socio-economical thread site-wide.

Another one is /r/DepthHub/ that can be good.

Another inneresting one that can kill a few minutes is /r/PropagandaPosters/ ... not as in posters who post, but propaganda media throughout history ... often not a ton of discussion in most entries.

You might also enjoy /r/ChiCubs.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

reddit is a great place to get news from, and goofy tidbits going on in the world.

the comments are a totally different thing and often should be ignored.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

gonewild

WTF is one of the best.

I also like pussypassdenied

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

over on the liverpool FC reddit, in the wake of the news that liverpool formally apologized to southampton FC for tapping up [tampering with] virgil van dijk;; someone asked "how reliable is liverpoolfc.com tho?" in terms of a possible "all is not fucked here, dude!" scenario re: still trying to get van dijk =]

^^^ = the essence of reddit IMO!

put it this way, i technically hang out and talk baseball in a channel called #reddit-baseball all season long, and i STILL won't ever go look @ /r/baseball, even if someone is explicitly telling me to go check out [whatever] there! #NotEvenOnce =]

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This is the best reddit post of all time:

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It's just like Chris Rock said. When you have a son, you have to worry about one dick. When you have a daughter, you have to worry about all of them.

I'm glad I have two boys.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way