So, whistler got me thinking...

What if someone on the board had legitimate multiple personality disorder (like Beardown). So, I came up with:

Beardown: the "normal" one
whistler: The true deviant...possible serial killer. Probably murders the girl chained to Beardown's furnace, then fucks the corpse. Disappearances explained through heavy medication.
Drake LaRieta: child-like and inquisitive...asks stupid questions, gets answers in 3's.
Dignified Rube: Bible thumping, overtly-pious loon. Doesn't like swearing. Thinks Dan Fouts is the greatest QB of all time. Dangerous. Very dangerous. Tends to be a bit more lucid at times...Beardown may revert to him when heavily medicated.
Chapstick Charlie: Right-wing conspiracy loon...thinks Trig is talking to him.
Juice's Lecture Notes: Possible public persona. Well spoken and seemingly well read. Has an interest in media. May have gotten screwed over from applying for a job at the Score (Beardown's dream). Endless fascination with beating subjects into the ground.
Beerdown: Self parody. Fixation on "drinky".

And the final personality, "The Beast" as it were: America. Transfixed with liquidation and annihilation of the world, along a firm belief that (((they))) are coming for him or some such shit. Has good Bears thoughts, and random rants, changes direction at the drop of a hat. Not to be trusted. Probably afraid of women, leading to Beardown's mentioning of why white women hate him.

A truly interesting case study as a whole.

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Tall Midget: The Father
Beardown: The Son
Ike South: The Holy Ghost

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

For the record, I am working under the assumption that Ike is a sini mult.

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I may not agree with your hypothesis, but this is more thought than MANY have put into a board post since November 2016. I would rather read more of this than a never-ending WFR/LTG/JLN three-way cage match or RR reminiscing about how Ronald Reagan tried to stab him with an HIV needle after selling him crack in 1983.

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You get 2-3 semi-lucid posts a year from me...when I actually have the time to do them. It's slow at work this morning, so I had the time to craft something new to mock the random levels of stupidity around this place.

And now I'll translate this to gif form, so jbills understands what I'm saying:

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You're alright, Susan. I don't care what the others say about you...you're alright.

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We already have a Julie thread .

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

Your singular obsession with Big Red almost landed you as one of Beardown's personalities, too.

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I don't think a court would rule that I'm a public figure.

No one cares.

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Seacrest has already ruled. You are.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

AND IT WILL REMAIN THAT WAY!

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Thin book title.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley

lol im afraid of women that's fucking rich

Do you have a great big cock?

I think boyd sucks. So do I.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

For the record I've only done one mult here... During the Blackcastle happening she said she had gotten with some guy after Hawkeye so I made a mult called SomeGuy to pop up and respond "I got what I wanted out of it!"

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That kinda seems to bolster his statement.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George