Darkside wrote:
Ever thought that something happens because it was mandated by Federal law? What would the text of that law look like?
Here's my best example...
"The Fortunate Son Act of 1970"
Any motion picture, film, or performance, live or recorded, or television program featuring or referencing the Vietnam War, or its derivatives, or depicting war in a locale somewhat similar to Southeast Asia is hereby mandated to feature at some point in the film no less than 90 seconds of the Creedende Clearwater Revival song "Fortunate Son". Failure to use this song will be subject to penalties of $1500 per $10,000 gross revenue of the performance, dismemberment of the director or in repeated cases, death.
Here's my best example...
"The Fortunate Son Act of 1970"
Any motion picture, film, or performance, live or recorded, or television program featuring or referencing the Vietnam War, or its derivatives, or depicting war in a locale somewhat similar to Southeast Asia is hereby mandated to feature at some point in the film no less than 90 seconds of the Creedende Clearwater Revival song "Fortunate Son". Failure to use this song will be subject to penalties of $1500 per $10,000 gross revenue of the performance, dismemberment of the director or in repeated cases, death.
The Scorcsese Adulation act of 2001 (rider attached to the Patriot Act)
Any film created by Martin Scorsese effective immediately shall be a critical masterpiece, and he shall be nominated for no fewer than (12) artistic awards per film, including, but not limited to the Screen Actors Guild, Directors Guild, BAFTA, Juno, Directors Guild, Oscar, Grammy, People's Choice, Pulitzer, Tony, Daytime Emmy, Nickelodeon Kid's Choice, et al. Failure to offer praise and acclaim shall result in the seizure of your journalistic credentials and Baseball Hall of Fame voting rights.
***Amendment effective January 1, 2014***
Additional failures result in immediate casting for future Peabody Award winning feature More than Mean.
