i grab a handbasket. i fill it up and go to checkout. all lines are full of big ass carts. i go to 12 item express lane. as i lay the shit on the counter i noticed it was more then 12 items (18). i told the cashier "i think i have more then 12 items"

she says "yeah" and i thought to myself "yeah sorry i ruined your job". all the stuff fit easily on the counter. mostly small stuff. largest thing was one roll of paper towels.

then i hear it from behind me. " SO DO I"

i dont even entertain that by looking. i just say "well thats ok"

she says "ITS OK FOR WHO?"

i quickly say "EVERYBODY"

then i look back and she has like 6 items. as im grabbing my receipt i say to her and her sorry ass husband "sorry guys i apologize"

she says with the most bitchy tone "YEAAHH"

now i like this grocery store, so i just left. but let me say this- if your rotten Caller Bob cant ferment long enough in a line to wait for 6 extra items then next time dont even go to the grocery store. take all that food you dont even need and give it to somebody who is not 300lbs with skin sagging off like some dead sea animal. trailer trash waste of human life. im GLAD i made your day worse and please, for your husbands sake get a divorce and take your fat ass in front of a moving bus- there are plenty of animals around this city that could live a whole life off your blubber you stupid bitch.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I would submit that you were fully aware that you had in excess of twelve (12) items prior to unloading your cart onto the express lane belt. Please admit or deny this allegation.

You know, we are living in a society!

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There are few shopping trips where I do not encounter this type of 3OO lb trailer Yeti. I try to pick the most obscure of hours to do my shopping to avoid them.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

no i honestly thought i had around 12 items. and i was correct. it takes about 30 seconds longer with the extra 6 items. AND SHE HAD A FUCKIN CART. YOU COULD HAVE LOST SOME WEIGHT BY CARRYING THOSE 6 ITEMS YOU DUMB FUCKIN LOSER. the way i see it, if you can carry it you can use the express lane. i dont see why i should wait behind cartfulls of people when im standing there holding all my shit.

and this is an upscale grocery store. i shop there just to avoid porpoises like that. most of the women that shop there are pretty and nice, regardless of age or even size.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Whole Foods?

buying any heirloom tomatoes?

high vagina grocery store (hyvee). semi upscale really. nothing too fancy but its not just some regular store

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I am just curious about something. You said:

You specifically referenced that all of the lines were full of big ass carts. If you truly thought that you had, at most, twelve (12) items, why would you have taken the time to: 1) observe this; and 2) report it to us?

No, here is what I believe happened, Watson. You knew you had slightly more than the twelve (12) item maximum. You observed the lengthy lines, one of which you were obligated to get into. You decided that you did not want to wait in one those lengthy lines. You thought, "hey, it is only a few items over the limit." You wrongfully entered the express lane, got properly chastised for it, felt guilty about it, and, instead of admitting fault, you have attempted to slander a morbidly obese beast who probably has a thyroid condition.

Do the rules not apply to you, Mr. Ike South?

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6 items over seems like a bit much.

ikesouth,
How many items would you consider acceptable to take into the 12 items or less line?
24?
36?
48?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Sounds like the making of a Schoolhouse Rock episode.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.

because i will take any lane if its empty or low on product, asshole

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

does someone want to quote where i realized i made a mistake and i apologized to the whale?

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

It is perfectly normal that you now feel guilty about berating this woman. You can take it out on me if it helps. I am strong, both physically and mentally.

Let it out Ike.

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Shouldn't you be counting before you enter the line?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

believe me i wanted to cause a scene right there in the store. but i like that store and really, it was such a minor issue that it was dumb that she couldnt even accept a formal apology.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

The next time that I am driving ninety-seven and one half (97.5) miles per hour in a sixty-five (65) miles per hour zone, I will point out to the State Trooper that this is the exact same mathematical ratio as entering the twelve (12) item express lane with eighteen (18) items.

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no i shouldnt. i had the basket in one hand and a 12pk of watered down corn syrup in the other. on top of the basket was italian bread and frozen pizza, so i couldnt just count by looking. i just went by what i thought i got, and i wasnt that far off. i would have never considered saying anything if i was in her position let alone act like miserable garbage

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

im pretty sure i didnt put anyones life in danger. unless you consider extra minute i made her stand there might have caused her heart failure

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

If you have 1 basket you can use the express lane....end of story. I don't care if you pack 1OOO kool aid packets into that basket....you can use the express lane.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

hahaha paul peirce is better then mellow.... ugh....

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

1000 might be excessive but thats what im saying. and like i said, she had a cart! so its not like i was straining her arms

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

Just as an aside, when was the last time anybody ever saw a morbidly obese monster in a grocery store with only enough items to qualify for entry into the express lane?

Maybe the beast had just begun a diet today, and that is why she was so cranky. It was probably the first time that she had ever been in the express lane, and now she is wondering: "what is the point?"

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i routinely get in the express 12 items or less lane with 15 ish items..never had a cashier or a customer say anything....there should be self checkouts that actually work at every store..i move faster on my own then these cashiers.

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I actually asked the girl running the register about people severely exceeding the limit and she said they have to check out any customer that comes in their line. Even if they have 1OO items they can not redirect them to the appropriate line.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

Self-checkout is an abomination. Do they discount your groceries for doing the work yourself? I've got a great new landscaping business I'm starting where I allow the client to self-mow. You can be my first customer.

You fuckers bringing extra items, I bet you use a fucking debit card too and get cash back. Go fuck yourselves!

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

That's where society must police itself and verbally savage the rulebreaker into embarrassment. If that's possible. I highly doubt one so impudent could be adequately embarrassed.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

cash always brother... i am about speed..in and out.. i hate shopping and want to get it over with as soon as possible...i usually see 15 checkout lanes..4 are open and have long waits with moms with 300 dollars worth of shit stuffed inside a giant cart...there should be a lane for the quick shopper who pays cash and bags himself.

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im not kidding- a couple weeks ago there was a lady who brought 20 some items into the express lane and i had like 2 things in my hand. that wasnt the problem though- after she checked out all her stuff (all produce that had to be weighted, mind you) she pulls out a FUCKING CHECKBOOK! i couldnt believe it. in an express lane and she didnt even take the book out until the cashier had everything bagged! we all were just standing there staring at her like "....uhhhhhh...."

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

i use it as LAST resort. when all other lanes are way busy and i have a couple things.

what i cant stand about them though is at home depot if youre standing in a line some chick will come to you and be like "HEY i can help you over here!" and you say "k thanks" as she proceeds to direct you to the self checkout lane and just points to it. no shit lady, i knew it was there and theres 1000 reasons i dont want to use it.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.