ok this isn't sini this is the eclectic combination of kahlua and aspirin talking. i just want you to know that.
exhibit a is some chick who won't leave me the fuck alone and gets off to letting me know that she like, you know, created my life.
now first of all, let's start with the hat. WHOOAAAAAA BUDDY INDIANA JONES COMPLEX MUCH?!?!!? seriously i bet this chick thinks she's a superhero cuz she knows how to spell jehovah and she's some archaeology teacher who has a whip, which she uses when she's not shooting people with swords. see i don't wear hats like this because it would be REDUNDANT but then again, i'm not the pretty bitch having pictures taken of me every other second. nope. i just deal with tourists from the future all day long. YAWN.
second of all, the DERPFACE. wow look at that, she's trying to sell us intrigue intelligentsia and some weird otherworldly confidence all at once. i wonder what her photo shoot director told her to think cuz clearly see she's just an empty shell standing there she has no original thoughts and she gets MUCH NEEDED ADVICE from some professional pimp who can mould the lives of soulless young women whose only stated desire in life is to be an archetype of beauty.
third of all, the teeth. that's right, get the flouride out of the water kids the sun will never set on the british empire.
fourth of all, the scarf. what are you tom baker or something? see i'm not very practical, and i am very unusual.... but i've been in some frozen shitholes in my day and at no point did i ever stop and think "gee, my neck is cold i need something to wrap around my neck that, added bonus, looks HIGHLY FASHIONABLE." i could spend 6 pages deconstructing the failed psyches of people who look to scarves and find some sort of bold fashion inspiration, but hey i'm a doctor who guy and tom baker so maybe this chick IS doctor who. i reckon she's a girl power type with an army of fake lipstick lesbian soldiers in her cadre of fans, so like, maybe we're witnessing the IRL power of a timelord and maybe this bitch is a time traveler. the world may never care.... * crunch *
fifth of all, what the fuck is going on with her fingernails? OMFG PUNKY BREWSTER HERE LOOK I WAS KIND OF A GOTH GIRL BUT I'M SO PUNK ROCK I'LL LET MY FINGER NAIL POLISH FADE CUZ WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING I'M SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN RE-APPLYING ANOTHER LAYER OF CRAP TO MY CUTICLES. that's right, go catch the worldwide punk rock sensation "alexa and the chungs" at your local dive bar. they're going to need you to buy them beers because the whole indiana jones line of work thing kind of pays shite.
sixth of all, the camera. what's the taking a picture of? see the great questions in life are never answered... like what happened in who framed roger rabbit if bob hoskins fucked jessica rabbit. DAMMIT I HAVE QUESTIONS. seeing as this is bitchtits here, you know the camera's french or something cuz if she's not convincing you that she's better than you then OH WELL WHAT IS SHE DOING?!?! taking pictures of the ground by the looks of it. but hey if i've learned anything if alexa chung took pictures of the ground it'd start a new epidemic that takes over devianTART by noon. yeah i worship at the altar. blow me bitch!
