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Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=75711		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
OHHHHHHHHH

You better watch out
You better not whine
You better not post gifs
And I'm telling you why...

...Biggie Claus will ki-ick your ass

He's making a list
Frank's on it twice
He already said
We all must be niiiiiceee (motherfuckers)

Or Biggie Claus will kick your ass

He hates the Wu Tang lyrics
And all the Seinfeld quotes
He doesn't care if it's bad or good
Cause he's not reading it anyway

So, you better watch out
You better not whine
You better not post gifs
And I'll tell you why

Biggie Claus will ki-ick your ass
Author:  good dolphin [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass
Booo! You suck!
Author:  Hawg Ass [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass
sjboyd0137 wrote:
OHHHHHHHHH

You better watch out
You better not whine
You better not post gifs
And I'm telling you why...

...Biggie Claus will ki-ick your ass

He's making a list
Frank's on it twice
He already said
We all must be niiiiiceee (motherfuckers)

Or Biggie Claus will kick your ass

He hates the Wu Tang lyrics
And all the Seinfeld quotes
He doesn't care if it's bad or good
Cause he's not reading it anyway

So, you better watch out
You better not whine
You better not post gifs
And I'll tell you why

Biggie Claus will ki-ick your ass

:lol: Out-fucking-standing!!!
Author:  Ugueth Will Shiv You [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass
Image
Author:  Don Tiny [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
That sucked; the 'B' section didn't even rhyme, asshole.
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 4:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
The 12 days of Boardmas

On the first day of Boardmas, Keeping Score gave to me:
One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the second day of Boardmas, Don Tiny gave to me:
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the third day of Boardmas, Terry's Peeps gave to me:
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the fourth day of Boardmas, Frank gave to me:
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the fifth day of Boardmas, Panther gave to me:
5 ALL CAPS THREADS!
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the sixth day of Boardmas, Big Fan gave to me:
6 banishments
5 ALL CAPS THREADS!
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the seventh day of Boardmas, Douchbag gave to me:
7 funny gifs
6 banishments
5 ALL CAPS THREADS!
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the eighth day of Boardmas, Ugie gave to me:
8 posts written by Spanky
7 funny gifs
6 banishments
5 ALL CAPS THREADS!
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the ninth day of Boardmas, Drop In gave to me:
9 Wrestling threads
8 posts written by Spanky
7 funny gifs
6 banishments
5 ALL CAPS THREADS!
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the tenth day of Boardmas, IMU gave to me:
10 hot hatch posts
9 Wrestling threads
8 posts written by Spanky
7 funny gifs
6 banishments
5 ALL CAPS THREADS!
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the eleventh day of Boardmas, SHARK gave to me:
11 broadcast lineups
10 hot hatch posts
9 Wrestling threads
8 posts written by Spanky
7 funny gifs
6 banishments
5 ALL CAPS THREADS!
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post

On the twelfth day of Boardmas, the whole board gave to me:
12 racist accusations
11 broadcast lineups
10 hot hatch posts
9 Wrestling threads
8 posts written by Spanky
7 funny gifs
6 banishments
5 ALL CAPS THREADS!
4 Cubs Posts
3 Bernstein de-f-enses
2 hilarious pictures
And One homo-e-ro-tic post
Author:  Douchebag [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Boyd really needs to find himself a job.
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Douchebag wrote:
Boyd really needs to find himself a job.

Yep
Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
I SAW LOHO DISSING BIGGIE CLAUS

I saw LoHo dissing Biggie Claus
At the fancy fundraiser last night
I swear I saw that creep
Turn his chair without a peep
He thought Biggie was fucked up
And nearly decked him into a heap

Then I saw LoHo tackle Biggie Claus
Underneath the table they did fight
Oh, what a laugh it would have been
If Lance had only seen
LoHo dissing Biggie Claus last night
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
:lol:
Author:  Telegram Sam [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Ah, day drinking.
Author:  The Original Kid Cairo [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
sjboyd0137 wrote:
Douchebag wrote:
Boyd really needs to find himself a job.

Yep

I'll give him a job.




Wait...
Author:  Don Tiny [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
You white people need to learn how to make the words fit the tunes ....
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
I had one all set, but I'm sure it would be construed as offensive, I'm moving on to this one:

The Christmas Song

Some nuts roasting on an open fire,
Darko is nipping at the bottle,
Yuletide carols being sung in a bar,
And folks dressed up like it's cold.

CGS knows everybody, she'll tell you so
Calls you a terrorist to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Oh those are just baby bombs in the snow.

They know that Ivan's on his way;
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
But he's got something else that just popped up,
So you won't be seeing him tonight.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To drunks from twenty-one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
Merry Christmas, and fuck you (ajent)
Author:  Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Wed Dec 19, 2012 5:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Don Tiny wrote:
You white people need to learn how to make the words fit the tunes ....


You're cracked. Mine's perfect and I think an instant holiday classic.
Author:  Ugueth Will Shiv You [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 8:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
You better not joke, you better not whine,
You better not argue cuz' I'm telling you why,
Boilermaker Rick's on the prowl.

He knows when you've been misleading,
He points out your mistakes,
Even if your thoughts are bad or good
He'll throw them back in your face!

OH!!!!

You better not joke, you better not whine,
You better not argue cuz' I'm telling you why,
Boilermaker Rick's on the prowl.

Jay Cutler is the devil
Rick swears that much is true
He has no basis for that thought
Other than Cutler's not from Purdue

OH!!!

You better not joke, you better not whine,
You better not argue cuz' I'm telling you why,
Boilermaker Rick's on the prowl.
Author:  Ugueth Will Shiv You [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 9:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
DING!
DONG!
DING!
DONG!

Christmas is here,
The board's acting queer,
Don Tiny's underwear,
Keeping Score's rear,

MARTY HATES GUNS,
CAIRO LOVES PUNS,
FAVREFAN HAS RIGHTS,
KEEPING SCORE'S TIGHTS.

The C-S-F-M-B all hate each other which means Christmas is here!

Careful what you post or you'll get pruned!
Careful what you post or you'll get pruned!

Frank likes to sing,
Speeps likes the ring,
Biggie is our king,
Um... R-F-D-C?

DARKSIDE LIKES FIGHTS,
IMU BOUGHT BRAKELIGHTS,
HORNY? SPAULDING MIGHT,
SPMACK HATES WHITES.

The C-S-F-M-B all hate each other which means Christmas is here!

Careful what you post or you'll get pruned!
Careful what you post or you'll get pruned!
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Thu Dec 20, 2012 10:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Telegram Sam [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
SHARK loves the ladies who read us the weather
Rogers Park Bryan's aversion to Feta
Thickset Samoan girls haunt Ivan's dreams
These are a few of my favorite memes

Ugueth Will Shiv You's wine refrigerator
Joe Orr Road Rod once did lines with Stiv Bator
Rick would have Orton on his Pro Bowl team
These are a few of my favorite memes

IMU's hot hatch
Darkside's sock batch
Steve's athletic boasts
'Cause if it were not for my favorite memes
Then Frank would have like
Twelve posts.

Hank Scorpio likes his gals with big thickets
Eaglo Jeff's jokes meet with the sound of crickets
Phil McCracken is a Bad Post Machine
These are a few of my favorite memes

Salesman lingo
Shake That bingo
Spanky's mammoth head
It's nice to know all of my favorite memes
Unlike Spada's guests
Aren't dead.
Author:  beni hanna [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Yet another TS winner. :cheers:
Author:  Krazy Ivan [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Telegram Sam wrote:
SHARK loves the ladies who read us the weather
Rogers Park Bryan's aversion to Feta
Thickset Samoan girls haunt Ivan's dreams
These are a few of my favorite memes

Ugueth Will Shiv You's wine refrigerator
Joe Orr Road Rod once did lines with Stiv Bator
Rick would have Orton on his Pro Bowl team
These are a few of my favorite memes

IMU's hot hatch
Darkside's sock batch
Steve's athletic boasts
'Cause if it were not for my favorite memes
Then Frank would have like
Twelve posts.

Hank Scorpio likes his gals with big thickets
Eaglo Jeff's jokes meet with the sound of crickets
Phil McCracken is a Bad Post Machine
These are a few of my favorite memes

Salesman lingo
Shake That bingo
Spanky's mammoth head
It's nice to know all of my favorite memes
Unlike Spada's guests
Aren't dead.



:lol: :lol: :lol:
Author:  Colonel Angus [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
:lol: @ Sam
Author:  K Effective [ Fri Dec 21, 2012 4:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Sam, I can actually hear Julie Andrews singing your lines. And I have yet to begin drinking.

Awesome.
Author:  good dolphin [ Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
It was Christmas Eve babe
In the drunk thread
bryan said to me
won't fight another one
and then we sang a song
Frank's rare old shitty tunes
I turned my face away
and dreamt about poon

this song is currently under construction
Author:  Rod [ Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Telegram Sam wrote:
SHARK loves the ladies who read us the weather
Rogers Park Bryan's aversion to Feta
Thickset Samoan girls haunt Ivan's dreams
These are a few of my favorite memes

Ugueth Will Shiv You's wine refrigerator
Joe Orr Road Rod once did lines with Stiv Bator
Rick would have Orton on his Pro Bowl team
These are a few of my favorite memes

IMU's hot hatch
Darkside's sock batch
Steve's athletic boasts
'Cause if it were not for my favorite memes
Then Frank would have like
Twelve posts.

Hank Scorpio likes his gals with big thickets
Eaglo Jeff's jokes meet with the sound of crickets
Phil McCracken is a Bad Post Machine
These are a few of my favorite memes

Salesman lingo
Shake That bingo
Spanky's mammoth head
It's nice to know all of my favorite memes
Unlike Spada's guests
Aren't dead.


:lol: :lol: Fuckin' awesome!
Author:  Dave In Champaign [ Sat Dec 29, 2012 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
Telegram Sam wrote:
Joe Orr Road Rod once did lines with Stiv Bator


The whole thing was brilliant, but this line alone is among the funniest things anyone has posted all year.
Author:  sinicalypse [ Sat Dec 29, 2012 3:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Biggie Claus Will Kick Your Ass (and other Xmas tunes)
yeah i had to go look up stiv bators, that's proper =D
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