if you go, i wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire time you were there

send a gift, and be glad you did not have to go

You have shit to do that is more important. He is not immediate family. In ten years, that kid won't give a shit if you were at his wedding. The only thing they really care about it getting the $$$ gift, which you are still giving.

A close family friend, their son, is getting married on Saturday. Its in Monmouth, which is about 3-3.5 hours west of here. Its been planned since August because they wanted to get married with Christmas decor still up in the town/church. The reception is at a dance club that the family owns. Buffet dinner, bartenders will only be there for a little while, after that its serve yourself.

We are supposed to close on a house tomorrow. Wanted to close after the first of the year, but the seller's said no dice to that, so its tomorrow. Because of that, my fiancee and I are not going to the wedding, though we did RSVP yes. Obviously cleaning a new place and moving in is a lot of work, and I only have 1 vacation day left until March so this has to be done on nights and weekends.

I've talked to the groom and his mom (who is my Godmother), and they are understanding and both said no problem. They seemed genuine about saying that as well. I will still be sending a gift. Probably a little more $ since I won't be paying for gas for a hotel room.

Both of my parents and my sister, on the other hand, are quite upset that we are not going. They said its the "right thing to do" because of them being a family friend. Which I understand, but disagree with.

So.....what are your thoughts on the matter?

Pay February's mortgage at the closing as well for the tax break.

As for the wedding, a check is better than your presence. You are doing them a favor by not going.

You are doing the right thing Frank. Your future wife and your future are more important than a friends wedding. You talked to them, and they understand. As someone else said in 10 years no one will care.

Sure, all the selfish people telling you to forget it. The wedding is a unique experience. One day isn't gonna matter in your move. Be the bigger man.

Well then why don't you offer to help Frank move?

Frank could certainly ask his offended family members to help him move so he can go to the wedding. That might shut them up.

I see nothing wrong with you not going, especially since you only knew about it since August.

Unless you are moving stuff from a 4,000 square foot mansion, what's the big deal?

eh...this is a difficult one, but if it were me I would likely not go to the wedding. There are few things that trump a wedding, this would be one of them in my opinion.
Just don't be surprised when they can't make yours.

Vintage.