I have to figure at least some of you funny motherfuckers have tried this before. Right now I'm drunk and desperate and thinking about doing it. Any tips from those who have done it/currently doing it?

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I believe you want to talk to W_Z (though I have not seen him for a while.)

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"All crowds boycotting football games shouldn't care who sings or takes a knee because they aren't watching." - Nas

Stay home and watch some reruns of All in the Family .... you'll be much happier with yourself in the morning.

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

But I don't have cable and am incredibly depressed, what other choice do I have?

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Do it. You're hilarious.

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CSFMB 2014 Nascar Pick 'em Champion

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much. — Ronald Reagan

That's mean.

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Wow,You remember me mentioning that?

It was about 35 years ago. I tried it a few times. The first time I killed,the crowd loved me. I thought this shit is easy. It was a Friday night and I had nothing prepared but I was liqoured up (I was introduced by a young Arsenio Hall). The next time I think it was on a Monday,I went up there and sucked to high heaven and I said screw this. Now when my humor falls flat,at least I can hide behind a keyboard. I did finish second on Rodney Dangerfield's old website with a joke of the month.
I won 2 autographed 8X10's of Rodney,3 VHS tapes from his old show and his book (autographed,too!) So if nobody here thinks I'm funny,one of the greatest comedians of all time gave me my "props" a long time ago!
So Shake That!

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

I would consider taking a weekly class at a local comedy club. From what I understand, it's a little bit less pressure and mostly fun similar to a cooking class. At the end, you likely have a show where it's all family and friends of the class.

I wouldn't just go up on stage on an open mic night. You'll likely be terrible.

One other word of advice. Be funny. It helps a lot.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Here you go, take this class http://www.dobiemaxwell.com/classes.html

I took it. Great class. 2 days at Zanies in Chicago.

He really breaks it down, from why it sucks to why it is great!

He tells you if you have a chance, what you should do, etc.

My partner for the weekend was Sam Longley...Luc's brother. We had a great time,

It's kind of intimidating standing on a stage, then they turn on the lights and you cant see anything, now go tell your jokes funny man!

Basically, when you are at Zanies. First comic gets free drinks, which you would do for 1 year, then your are the warmup comic, maybe you get $200, then a headliner for $500-$1000+ a show.

He tells you tough it is, he talks about all the jobs he has had...it was a ton.

I would tell anyone to take the class, good for public speaking, etc.

For some reason lots of "Life coaches" in my class? of 16 people, half were life coaches...

Dobie suggested I continue the path, said I should go take some improv class,...I took 1 and ran away crying,

Weird thing about half the people in Improv is they come in with a character already in them. Like one guy was already Chris Farley, or Chris Rock, or Sandler....they all tried to emulate these guys.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Rabbit ears with a DTV box. Two episodes on 26.2 at 6:00 and 6:30, and 2 episodes on 9.2 at 7:00 and 7:30

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I believe the our star of stage and screen, Mr. Camps, also tried his hand at stand up. I don't think you even have to be all that good to get regular stage time, just mildly funny. Harry survived on the circuit for a few years and that unfunny slug doesn't have an ounce of comedy packed into his overstretched skin.

I picture stand up to be like Trial Advocacy class. Get up there and do your thing. The greats exist outside of the "rules" anyway so no one is going to be able to coach a special talent. The only thing they might help you with is crafting a joke.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

My guy Dobie tells a story about being on tour with another guy who asks him about a new bit.

The guy says he is going to do this "You might be a redneck if......"

Dobie tells the guy it will never work. lol

Dobie was on the Loop in the mornings for awhile here as well, plus about another 30 other places. The guys story is pretty cool, not that I would want to live his life of every month having another job and not knowing when they will come.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Good guy, and a Wisconsin guy.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

OK I got one.... this morning on a sportscenter i saw their intrepid reporter Rachel Nichols standing in front of a horrible blurry greenscreen image of a snowy street in new england. She's wearing a jacket and gloves.

Seriously, there's no hint of wind moving her hair and it's pretty obviously a green-screen, yet she's dressed up as a winter warrior. What's the deal here? Other than that I'd do her because I always found something oddly sexual about Rachel Nichols.

I'll go to the bar and wait for my free drinks.

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I hear that the 2nd time is the true test, when you friends/family aren't there and it's just a roomful of drunk strangers.

I appreciate all these responses. At the moment I'm stuck in the boonies and don't have the disposable income to take a class so I am sort of leaning on an open mic as my only opportunity out here.

Additionally, from what I can gather from this tread and reading the board in general is that half of you seem to be comedians and the other half lawers. Weird.

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If it's something you want to do and believe you can do, DO IT! The world is full of people too afraid to try their hand at things that the masses tell them they can't do. The ones that make might be pretty talented, but there could well be many MORE talented that just never gave themselves a chance. As Woody Allen (actually a very funny stand-up guy early in his career) once said, "90% of success is just showing up". You can't succeed if you let doubt keep you from trying. What's the worst that can happen?-perhaps you bomb and a few dozen strangers you will likely never see again in your life think you suck? So what. What if it goes well, and you have a lot of fun and find yourself opening doors to something really exciting?

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Go Cubs!!!!

Elmhurst Steve has some great advice and so did Bigfan. I almost signed up for Dobie Maxwells class but it conflicts with my work schedule. Whatever you decide,good luck.

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favrefan said:"Chris Coghlan isn't gonna pay your rent, Jimmy."

So it's not just me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OvmgkdEhaTg

This looks like greenscreen too.

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I would guess 90% of the big talkers would piss in their pants if they had to go on stage and do this.

While I wasnt scared, I did freeze for a few seconds when he turns the lights on, totally blinding you. Even though he warns you.

It is pretty cool, you 'graduate" and he introduces you just like a real show at zanies. everyone has drinks, sitting in the chairs, you come up on stage from "the green room' in the back and do your 1 minute bit, etc.

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

You're going to definitely want to start hanging around with people who talk about Comedy, in italics with a capital "C."

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I don't remember half the time if I'm hiding or I'm lost

i love stuff you don't really have to think too much about

It was October of 1997. I was working a white collar job in the financial industry, managing the monthly distribution of the company's annual/semiannual reports for their family of funds. Dealing with SEC regulations, a legal department, accounting, etc, I needed a creative outlet.

I took a comedy class out in the suburbs. It was one night a week for 5 weeks, if memory serves. A couple of us became friends and would drive to Milwaukee on Wednesday nights for an open mic at a club called Stooge's (RIP, it's no longer open). I wasn't doing it to be discovered. I had always wanted to do it and so I challenged myself to finally take the plunge.

After the 5th class, we had a "warm" audience that consisted of the family and friends others have mentioned. It was a great night and an incredible rush.

We still made our weekly Wednesday trek to Milwaukee after our graduation, and on Tax Day of '98, we were surprised to find Stooge's packed. Apparently, a local accounting firm had rented it out to celebrate the end of tax season. So, not only did I NOT have any tax material, but the entire house was made of accountants.

But, it ended up being one of the coolest nights of my life, and the headliner they had close the show recommended the manager hire me to open their his shows in June. So, I got paid to open 1 Thursday, 2 Friday, and 2 Saturday shows.

If only those shows had gone as well as the night the headliner liked me. Oofa. Not good times. Very humbling.

That's why I respect comics who I don't think are funny given how hard it is to get up there and be good. I had a regular job and didn't get as much stage time as I should've and wasn't looking to be discovered anyway, so I only did it for about a year because I wasn't very good. I scratched the itch and really enjoyed the moments of having a crowd in the palm of my hand. However, there weren't many of those moments, and I was never as comfortable on stage as I am with my friends. Gripping the mic stand as if your life depended on it probably gives the audienece the impression you're scared shitless, which I was. Laughter actually threw me off, as the teleprompter in my head didn't have a "stop" command for when the audience did laugh.

Oh well, it was fun. Glad I tried it. Sorry for the rambling. Let the ripping begin!

Ill be going up at an open mic soon. Ill post it in case anyone wants to come.

fo' real?

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This is my signature...

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Power is always in the hands of the masses of men. What oppresses the masses is their own ignorance, their own short-sighted selfishness.
- Henry George

That's the plan. Just kind of a bucket list type of thing.


Ill probably only be really good, not great

Let me know when and where so I can make sure I'm busy...

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This is my signature...

Mind if I use that /\?

Would you say your act will be prop heavy or just moderate?

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This is my signature...

The rubber chicken weighs 6 oz