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Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible
https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=77182
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Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

I've always been interested in reading the bible from cover to cover so I decided 2013 would be the year. I just started and finished up Genesis.

My thoughts on Genesis:
Not much too to take out of this book from a spiritual sense as far as I read. It was mostly a confusing hodgepodge of strange names of places and people.



Didnt know that Noah and some of the other people lived to be 700+ years old, could have cut the ages back to a little more believable numbers.

Also a heck of a lot of sex... Everyone was banging each other, fathers and daughters, brothers and sisters, masters and servants.... Everyone seemed OK with it as well. Lot's daughters got him drunk and banged him and that was the last we heard about him. This was of course after he offered them up to be raped by the crowd of people that wanted to rape only the men in his house.

Author:  Douchebag [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Hank Scorpio wrote:
Didnt know that Noah and some of the other people lived to be 700+ years old, could have cut the ages back to a little more believable numbers.

:lol: :lol:

Or maybe they could have gotten rid of the whole Ark thing to make it more believable.

Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

See, I can believe that some guy got a vision of god to build a boat because there would be a flood. I dont believe that they put 2 of every animal on it nor do I believe it was a flood that consumed the whole earth. But I can believe the bones of the story and assume the rest was added to sensationalize.

Author:  T-Bone [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

I have high hopes for this thread. Kinda like Scorps Notes for the Bible. That, and I was really impressed
to find out he could read.

Author:  Frank Coztansa [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

T-Bone wrote:
I have high hopes for this thread.
Its probably going to turn into a religious pissing match by page 3 or 4.

Author:  T-Bone [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Frank Coztansa wrote:
T-Bone wrote:
I have high hopes for this thread.
Its probably going to turn into a religious pissing match by page 3 or 4.


I hope not. I kinda always wanted to read the Bible from cover to cover too but this thread may give me a solid out
assuming the Scorps Notes cover what I want to know.

Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

I just want it to be some healthy discussion and one man's view of the bible. This is also selfish because I know if I just read it and dont write anything down I will forget it all.


And I cant read, I got the book on tape. Read by Vin Scully.

Author:  Frank Coztansa [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

And up now is Jesus, out of Galilee. A carpenter in the offseason, he was brought in to save the franchise. He's certainly got a lot of followers in the stands...

Author:  The Original Kid Cairo [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

I'm pleased that you're doing this Hank. I'm not joking.

Author:  T-Bone [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Frank Coztansa wrote:
And up now is Jesus, out of Galilee. A carpenter in the offseason, he was brought in to save the franchise. He's certainly got a lot of followers in the stands...


:lol:

Image

Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

I'm not a big organized religion person but I do believe in God. I just thought it was time to go right to the source material.

Author:  T-Bone [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Hank Scorpio wrote:
I'm not a big organized religion person but I do believe in God. I just thought it was time to go right to the source material.


All joking aside, I really am looking forward to checking into this thread to see what you discover.

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
I'm pleased that you're doing this Hank. I'm not joking.

Why?

Author:  The Original Kid Cairo [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

rogers park bryan wrote:
The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
I'm pleased that you're doing this Hank. I'm not joking.

Why?

I dunno. I just think it's kinda cool.

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
I'm pleased that you're doing this Hank. I'm not joking.

Why?

I dunno. I just think it's kinda cool.

Ok, thought you might have a more specific reason.

Knowledge is power, so read anything you can, that's what I always say.

Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Keeping Score wrote:
I'd like a little more elaboration on the man rape stuff next time if you would be so kind.


Genesis 19

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Hank Scorpio wrote:
Keeping Score wrote:
I'd like a little more elaboration on the man rape stuff next time if you would be so kind.


Genesis 19

He'll probably need his full 10 digit number with area code

Author:  Douchebag [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

I look forward to Chas' report on the Koran.

Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Douchebag wrote:
I look forward to Chas' report on the Koran.


If I can get thru the Bible, that is my next stop.

Author:  Seacrest [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 1:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
The Original Kid Cairo wrote:
I'm pleased that you're doing this Hank. I'm not joking.

Why?

I dunno. I just think it's kinda cool.



Agreed.

Author:  Don Tiny [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Did you know that the Bible talks about a woman's menstrual cycle? It's true.

Don't you remember the story of Mary riding Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem?

Author:  Brick [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Have the animals started talking yet?

Author:  badrogue17 [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Boilermaker Rick wrote:
Have the animals started talking yet?

Its 1:30, they just started.

Author:  Chus [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Boilermaker Rick wrote:
Have the animals started talking yet?


Just Mr. Ed, and the animals from Charlotte's Web.

Author:  Terry's Peeps [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 2:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

badrogue17 wrote:
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
Have the animals started talking yet?

Its 1:30, they just started.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  good dolphin [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Hank Scorpio wrote:
Keeping Score wrote:
I'd like a little more elaboration on the man rape stuff next time if you would be so kind.


Genesis 19


to be precise, it was more of an attempted angel rape than a man rape but rape is so much fun to write about I'm sure something got lost in the translation

Did you notice that there are two creation stories?

Author:  jimmypasta [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 5:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

All you comedians who mock the Holy Word, enjoy typing up your new threads in the eternal flames of Hell someday!

Image

Author:  beni hanna [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Hank Scorpio wrote:
And I cant read, I got the book on tape. Read by Vin Scully.

In my mind you have Facenda for the Old and Scully for the New.

Author:  Colonel Angus [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Which chapter is it that says God Hates Fags?

Author:  Don Tiny [ Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hank Scorpio Reads the Bible

Colonel Angus wrote:
Which chapter is it that says God Hates Fags?


Leviticus 20:13

If a man also lie with man, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

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