Ok, just found out there are random drug tests in Israel during the Maccabei games and marijuana is a banned substance. Never had a drug test in my life, ok, that's not true..I had to take one when I went on Love Cruise and I tested positive for pot, but it was hollywood so no one gave a shit.

So, what do I gotta do to pass while at the same time continue smoking weed daily for as long as I can leading up to the games?

We can also get a note from a doctor stating that you are allowed to take the drug, but not sure if that would work for weed or if my doc would write such a note. I've had 7 back surgeries so its not like its a stretch to say I would qualify for medical marijuana.

This really sucks, I just found out a great place in Tel Aviv to score hash while I'm there.

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#lazypeopleproblems

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Friend of mine, very heavy smoker (daily) has his Father In Law getting him a major life insurance policy.

He knows his son in law smokes (not how much) and tells him it will be very intense physical he will need to take in 30 days, so no smokey!

My guy needs his daily buzz, so he started with 2-3 mixed drinks every evening, but no smoking for 30 days

He takes the physical and no Marijuana traces.

But...

Signs of Alcoholism...had to wait another 45 days to take next test of no drinking, smokey, etc

P.s. he is a Riverwoods resident...not that anyone else would care

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”

Arent you like 40? And a lifelong pothead? And a lawyer? And you cant figure out how to pass a drug test? lol

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

No.

#OlympicAtheleteProblems

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I thought pot wasn't addictive? I'll stick with booze.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

You're basically fucked. You can buy flush drinks but they really don't work and they'll be testing you for masking agents.
A heavy smoker can test positive for 45 days on 50 ng/mL cutoffs, but I suspect you'll be getting more senisitive 20 ng/mL tests. Chugging water doesn't really work. It's not water soluble.
If you're in good shape you won't have much body fat, and that will help.
You need to work out hard core and sweat out as much as possible.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Has his Father in law buying life insurance on him and he lives in Riverwoods?

His drug testing issues sound like the least of his problems.

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Israeli prison is really nice though so it won't be that bad.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Also, you'll be able to add another reality show to your resume when you are featured on "Locked Up Abroad". You'll be the second most successful member of the Love Cruise cast then!

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

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Get the doctor's note or quit smoking and look forward to how high you'll be the first time you smoke after 30 days off

You better be sure they don't and cannot report back to the ARDC. They initiate a lot of there cases just on things they read in the newspaper.

On a good note, one of the soccer players is from St. Ignatius. You can use my name as an opening line when making your move.

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

I'm not worried in the least about the ARDC. I'm not embarrassed or ashamed of my pot smoking and I don't care to hide it either. It will be legal soon enough, I doubt the ARDC would give a shit unless an arrest was involved. Besides, they already have a file on me with things they need to worry about.

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I heard there was a tea you could drink that would help?

I do work out hardcore playing hockey 5x a week, but I also have lots of body fat since I'm apparently a medical marvel in that I can work out 5x a week, eat good and still gain wait. Been fighting the fat gene my whole life and as I get older its winning.

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pot smoking = laziness = falacy.

42 year old, good education, good job, home owner, pays bills on time, exercises at least 5x a week, full plate of activities between hockey and golf, active social life, rarely gets to spend a whole night at home, smokes weed. Not really the template for lazy.

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Too lazy to look up one of the million websites that tell you how to beat a drug test.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

I lost a hot dog eating contest once to Fat Gene

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O judgment! Thou art fled to brutish beasts,
And men have lost their reason.

www.passyourdrugtest.com

I have on a good authority that the masking agents will work, but you have to take them 2 hours before the piss test.

However, with your situation you basically have to quit for a 30-40 days.

btw: living in Riverwoods isn't all that glamorous...unless you want flooding problems, trees you can't cut down, and Army Corps of Engineer wetlands all over your property.

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@audioidkid

The 45 day thing is probably correct to be safe. Or...

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The only options...

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This is my signature...

never had it checked. How and why would I do that? I've had issues with weight my whole life, used to weigh 250 (5'10) back in the day before losing 70 pounds at age 23 under the guidance and encouragement of Rickey Henderson. Kept it off for the most part, but as I've hit my 40s weight has crept back on to the point where I'm probably around 205 despite my vigorous exercise routine and my eating habits which are not bad.

Could I be looking at a thyroid issue or just bad metabolism?

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Too many drug induced Funions?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

No, that's also fallacy

It's the drinks. McDonald's Coke to be exact. He can't quit.

Depends which part of Riverwoods you live in. The part I grew up (west course drive between Sanders and Clendenin) in didn't have any of those problems and we cut down a shitload of trees when we built our house in 76.

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Are any stoner stereotypes true?

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Good drivers

Go to your local head shop and buy the synthetic urine. It comes with instructions and a heat strip so you know it's in the temperature range. Basically nuke it a half hour before your test, and bring it with you. Works every time!

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I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out. - Bill Hicks

Let's do it for Johnny!

unless there's someone in the room with you watching you...

Just give the tester your " I LIVE the game speech. Surely he wouldnt think of denying such an impassioned man his dream after hearing it.

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Proud member of the white guy grievance committee

It aint the six minutes. Its what happens in those six minutes.