Ugie......that is awesome.
I'm having a hard time picking just one story.
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| Tell everyone your an idiot thread https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=79378 |
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| Author: | Brick [ Thu May 23, 2013 8:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Even the smartest people on this board do dumb things from time to time. Let's share some stories to make the dumb members of this board feel a little more normal. So, my wife calls me that her car won't start last night. I drive over with our jumper pack, which is basically a car battery that can also inflate tires and charge things with usb connections. Anyways, I head over there, attempt to jump the car and it doesn't work. The green light is on that it is hooked up correctly and everything seems right. I had flipped the switch for power that turns it on. We leave the car there and I'm planning on calling the car dealership the next day to ask them what they think. It's a hybrid, and I'm worried repairs may be expensive. However, as I'm unloading the jumper pack, I notice a switch on the side that talks about jumping a car. I go back this morning, do the exact same process, before trying to start the car, I turn that on, and the car starts. I still have to get the battery checked out but at least I got it out of the parking garage. I'm very glad I didn't get so far as calling a tow truck though I'm guessing they would have jumped the car correctly and then called me a dumbass. |
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| Author: | Terry's Peeps [ Thu May 23, 2013 8:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone you are an idiot thread |
I tried to convince Panther that a fringe conspiracy theory was false. |
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| Author: | Phil McCracken [ Thu May 23, 2013 8:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone you are an idiot thread |
I am an idiot. |
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| Author: | Ugueth Will Shiv You [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
*sigh* I never had a toaster oven growing up. Was never showed how to use one, etc. We made toast with wheat, sticks and fire. Like men. First time I try to use a toaster oven, my girlfriend (eventual wife) and I are visiting a friend. I'm hungry, so I ask our friend if I can make some toast. She tells me "go ahead" but I had to use the toaster oven since her regular toaster was broken. There I was, standing with two pieces of bread in my hands, staring at this metal contraption on the counter. I noticed a steel grill-like rack on the top of the oven. I saw the oven had a dial. In my mind, this was easy. I placed the bread on the rack (on top of the oven) and turn the dial to 45 seconds. Nothing happens. I crank it up to a minute. Bread isn't toasting. I was beyond confused. Needless to say, no toast was made that evening as the rack remained cold while the inside of the oven was probably hotter than fuck. |
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| Author: | Peoria Matt [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
| Ugie......that is awesome. I'm having a hard time picking just one story. |
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| Author: | Hatchetman [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
I just dropped $200 to repair some huge tower speakers that my wife won't let in the house. |
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| Author: | redskingreg [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
I once was bitching and complaining that the power surge strip protector I bought in college wasn't working...because I had it plugged into itself. |
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| Author: | pittmike [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
I had the classic talking on my cell phone with my wife. I am walking around my house while she is at work telling her I can't find my cell phone. She let me go on for a while. |
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| Author: | Chus [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
redskingreg wrote: I once was bitching and complaining that the power surge strip protector I bought in college wasn't working...because I had it plugged into itself. Redskin Greg for the win. |
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| Author: | Hawg Ass [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
redskingreg wrote: I once was bitching and complaining that the power surge strip protector I bought in college wasn't working...because I had it plugged into itself. This totally sounds familiar. 
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
You're all idiots. |
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| Author: | Peoria Matt [ Thu May 23, 2013 9:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
pittmike wrote: I had the classic talking on my cell phone with my wife. I am walking around my house while she is at work telling her I can't find my cell phone. She let me go on for a while. Yea...I've had quite a few of those. I was walking around work the other day looking for my ID and it was hanging around my neck. |
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| Author: | denisdman [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
"Tell everyone your an idiot thread" you're |
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| Author: | Brick [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
denisdman wrote: "Tell everyone your an idiot thread" you're what?
you're |
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| Author: | spmack [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Oh, I've done the lost cell phone and keys thing a few times. I had a bag full of groceries in both hands, and couldn't find the keys. Felt pretty dumb when they were in one of my hands underneath the bags. Some days I feel idiotic going to work everyday, as I've not only moved further away from my job, giving a much longer commute, but I'm doing it in a gas guzzling SUV. My hope is that I find a job in the city before the end of the year. |
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| Author: | pittmike [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Peoria Matt wrote: pittmike wrote: I had the classic talking on my cell phone with my wife. I am walking around my house while she is at work telling her I can't find my cell phone. She let me go on for a while. Yea...I've had quite a few of those. I was walking around work the other day looking for my ID and it was hanging around my neck. lol yep that one too |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Boilermaker Rick wrote: Tell everyone your an idiot thread 
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| Author: | spmack [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Don Tiny wrote: Boilermaker Rick wrote: Tell everyone your an idiot thread Maybe I'm giving B.Rick too much credit, but I think he purposely misspelled it. |
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| Author: | Ugueth Will Shiv You [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
I've fallen victim to the "What time does your watch say?" trick a few times. Whenever I'm holding a beverage in the same hand as my watch, I turn my wrist to check the time, spilling my drink. |
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| Author: | Brick [ Thu May 23, 2013 10:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Ugueth Will Shiv You wrote: I've fallen victim to the "What time does your watch say?" trick a few times. you're watch.
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| Author: | Kirkwood [ Thu May 23, 2013 11:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Parked in Rosemont CTA blue line lot. Was only going to be in the city for 3-4 hours to play softball so figured I could avoid paying the five whole dollars required. Fuck the man right?! Returned to a missing car. Had to hop back onto the CTA to California and pay $170. Fucking idiot me. |
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| Author: | rogers park bryan [ Thu May 23, 2013 11:28 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
When I was like 21 I worked at Giordano's delivering pizzas. I was driving back from a delivery when the engine started making this god awful noise. Grinding, like it was about to explode or something. I was just pulling in to the restaurant when it got real bad. I told the owner, "Something is waaaay fucked up with my car. Im almost afraid to drive it. Sounds like the engine is falling apart. You wanna take a look at it? Im not sure what it is" So we went out in back and he said to drive it in a circle so he could hear the noise. And THAT was the first time I had a Tire blowout. |
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| Author: | Tad Queasy [ Thu May 23, 2013 11:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
I did both of these when I was in my mid-20s, so it's not like I can blame being old and not in full possession of my faculties. 1) I once walked around the house looking for my glasses...while wearing them. B) I also once walked around the house wearing one sock and looking for the other...while carrying the "missing" sock in my hand. |
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| Author: | Northside_Dan [ Thu May 23, 2013 11:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
rogers park bryan wrote: When I was like 21 I worked at Giordano's delivering pizzas. I was driving back from a delivery when the engine started making this god awful noise. Grinding, like it was about to explode or something. I was just pulling in to the restaurant when it got real bad. I told the owner, "Something is waaaay fucked up with my car. Im almost afraid to drive it. Sounds like the engine is falling apart. You wanna take a look at it? Im not sure what it is" So we went out in back and he said to drive it in a circle so he could hear the noise. And THAT was the first time I had a Tire blowout.
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| Author: | Psycory [ Thu May 23, 2013 11:45 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
I was at a conference a few years ago in Palm Springs and we were staying at the Hotel Zoso - a post modern designed hotel - lots of glass lots of steel lots of frosted glass. I was walking down the hall having a discussion with my friend about some research or something and splat. I hit the glass wall while he walked through the door. Fortunately, it didn't crack or break. Unfortunately, the maid cleaning a room on the other side saw it and could not stop laughing and would start laughing everytime she saw me. To be fair, they had glass partitioned walls throughout the hallway with a glass door with a frosted glass part to designate the door. But still, I was an idiot in that situation. |
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Thu May 23, 2013 11:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
A couple of weeks ago, I was drinking at home. We had some people over, so I parked on the street when I got home after some twilight golf. About 11 or so after company had left, I went out just to pull my car into the garage. I was frantic because I couldn't find my keys. I looked all over the car, pockets, went to go back in the house to look and at that point realized I had already started the car. |
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| Author: | Seacrest [ Thu May 23, 2013 12:28 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Frank Coztansa wrote: A couple of weeks ago, I was drinking at home. We had some people over, so I parked on the street when I got home after some twilight golf. About 11 or so after company had left, I went out just to pull my car into the garage. I was frantic because I couldn't find my keys. I looked all over the car, pockets, went to go back in the house to look and at that point realized I had already started the car. http://12step.org/ |
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| Author: | Dewskie [ Thu May 23, 2013 3:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
I bought the new Sim City in full knowledge that it was a dogshit game. |
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| Author: | Eaglo Jeff [ Thu May 23, 2013 5:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Eaglo Jeff wrote: Opens mouth.....spews words
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| Author: | Eaglo Jeff [ Thu May 23, 2013 5:15 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Tell everyone your an idiot thread |
Seacrest wrote: Frank Coztansa wrote: A couple of weeks ago, I was drinking at home. We had some people over, so I parked on the street when I got home after some twilight golf. About 11 or so after company had left, I went out just to pull my car into the garage. I was frantic because I couldn't find my keys. I looked all over the car, pockets, went to go back in the house to look and at that point realized I had already started the car. http://12step.org/ "Who has my lighter?...Nevermind, it's in my hand." ~ Tommy Chong |
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