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| Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil Help! https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=82589 |
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil Help! |
My dear internet friends, I realize I have forsaken you for too long. First, a little about me. I am still living. So a great big fuck you to all you who have wanted me dead. Now, my extended lifespan and my Evil Social Alignment (worldview, if you will) have left me with plenty of love, advice and consoling to offer. Need advice picking a wedding present for a board member? Have trouble getting it up? Want a loved one dead? Have a stone in your shoe? Need to know which poisons work best? Cannot find that perfect cup of coffee? Need to know whether to offer the ass or the crotch? So, since I have nothing better to do until my surgery, allow me to offer my services. Is there anything that you internet morons need from your old Uncle J.A.C.K.? Your dear friend in evil, J.A.C.K. P.S. Fuck you Keeping Score. |
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| Author: | jimmypasta [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Hi Evil, I have a high sex drive. It seems to be getting worse (better) as I age. Whom should I see about this? |
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
jimmypasta wrote: Hi Evil, I have a high sex drive. It seems to be getting worse (better) as I age. Whom should I see about this? Me. |
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| Author: | Dr. Kenneth Noisewater [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Is Obamacare finally going to get you the help you need? |
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote: Is Obamacare finally going to get you the help you need? If by help you mean death panel... Most likely. |
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| Author: | jimmypasta [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Sorry,I only swing the bat from one side of the plate but at least now I can see what the "JACK" stands for. |
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
jimmypasta wrote: Sorry,I only swing the bat from one side of the plate but at least now I can see what the "JACK" stands for. I have heard otherwise. Have I not told you to delete your browsing history? Do you not wonder why you get "View Pictures of Singles" on your ad banners and they are all pictures of men? |
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| Author: | Zizou [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
My guy! |
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| Author: | jimmypasta [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Evil J.A.C.K. wrote: jimmypasta wrote: Sorry,I only swing the bat from one side of the plate but at least now I can see what the "JACK" stands for. I have heard otherwise. Have I not told you to delete your browsing history? Do you not wonder why you get "View Pictures of Singles" on your ad banners and they are all pictures of men? 
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Zizou wrote: My guy! Zizou, you have been a great influence on my life. Also, a great pain in my ass. Granted the pain fades after a few hours and a shower, but a pain nevertheless. A wonderful aching pain. |
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
jimmypasta wrote: Evil J.A.C.K. wrote: jimmypasta wrote: Sorry,I only swing the bat from one side of the plate but at least now I can see what the "JACK" stands for. I have heard otherwise. Have I not told you to delete your browsing history? Do you not wonder why you get "View Pictures of Singles" on your ad banners and they are all pictures of men? Fear not, love, for to deny ones impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human. |
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| Author: | jimmypasta [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Voltare has said:"We have all had thoughts that would shame Hell" |
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
jimmypasta wrote: Voltare has said:"We have all had thoughts that would shame Hell" Voltare says a bunch of stupid shit. Is he a relative of yours? |
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| Author: | jimmypasta [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 7:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
To be totally frank,though I believe Gays should be allowed to marry and all that,it still turns my stomach when I see two dudes kissing. I don't even like the "Bro Hugs" on Sons of Anarchy! |
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
jimmypasta wrote: To be totally frank,though I believe Gays should be allowed to marry and all that,it still turns my stomach when I see two dudes kissing. I don't even like the "Bro Hugs" on Sons of Anarchy! If you really were Frank, I would have sent you a PM asking if I could attend your gay wedding. |
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| Author: | jimmypasta [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Evil J.A.C.K. wrote: jimmypasta wrote: Voltare has said:"We have all had thoughts that would shame Hell" Voltare says a bunch of stupid shit. Is he a relative of yours? My shit only seems stupid when mental midgets try to comprehend what they can not. |
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| Author: | Evil J.A.C.K. [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
jimmypasta wrote: Evil J.A.C.K. wrote: jimmypasta wrote: Voltare has said:"We have all had thoughts that would shame Hell" Voltare says a bunch of stupid shit. Is he a relative of yours? My shit only seems stupid when mental midgets try to comprehend what they can not. Your high opinion of yourself is quite attractive to Evil. I love a man who embraces his Id. |
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| Author: | Colonel Angus [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Evil J.A.C.K. wrote: jimmypasta wrote: Voltare has said:"We have all had thoughts that would shame Hell" Voltare says a bunch of stupid shit. Is he a relative of yours? Voltaire. |
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| Author: | Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 12:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Linda S. comes back... now Jack... |
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| Author: | denisdman [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 12:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Jack, how is degenerate dave doing? |
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| Author: | rogers park bryan [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
denisdman wrote: Jack, how is degenerate dave doing? 
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| Author: | Brick [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
No. Yes. Yes. |
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| Author: | Ugueth Will Shiv You [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Need Help? Does your life suck? Are you a jerk? Evil H |
Dear Johnathan, Let's say you've just received a life-threatening dosage of arsenic from eating some bad McNuggets you purchased with food stamps. The only antidote is to suck off two board members consecutively. Who would you choose and why? |
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