Chicago Fanatics Message Board
https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/

2013 Darwin Awards
https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=84035
Page 1 of 1

Author:  RFDC [ Wed Dec 25, 2013 9:19 am ]
Post subject:  2013 Darwin Awards

Quote:
Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
Here Is The Glorious Winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”


Author:  SomeGuy [ Wed Dec 25, 2013 9:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

9.) There were some "people" who got mad and left a place to start a new place that they thought would make ALL the people from the other place leave and come to their newly started "New Place," thus killing the old place. Instead those "people" that left the "Old Place" to start the "New Place" found themselves adrift in a sea of nothingness forever banished from the "Old Place" because they suck and no one wants them back.

The above is a fictional story but it's on par with former Darwin Award winner "Timmy" who was playing with a cherry bomb in his room, lit the fuse and, upon realizing it was going to go boom in his room, put it in between his legs to muffle the explosion....didn't end well for "Timmy."

Image

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Thu Dec 26, 2013 8:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.



Image

Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Thu Dec 26, 2013 10:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

That bus driver should be given an actual award. That is a brilliant idea!!

Author:  RFDC [ Thu Dec 26, 2013 10:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

Hank Scorpio wrote:
That bus driver should be given an actual award. That is a brilliant idea!!

:lol: yeah that was my favorite one. the robber in Louisiana was 2nd

Author:  IkeSouth [ Thu Dec 26, 2013 10:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

rogers park bryan wrote:
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.




this is fucking awesome

Author:  FavreFan [ Thu Dec 26, 2013 1:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

Quote:
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Author:  Darkside [ Fri Dec 27, 2013 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

It's odd but I'm pretty sure I read about these 2013 runner ups in 2012.

Author:  Colonel Angus [ Fri Dec 27, 2013 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

I have no issue w/ what #3 did.

Author:  lipidquadcab [ Sat Dec 28, 2013 10:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

Maybe I'm a traditionalist or just full of shit but didn't the Darwin Awards always have to do with people dying in hilariously stupid ways? A lot of those are funny stories, but the people are still around to keep spreading their genes...

Author:  Psycory [ Sat Dec 28, 2013 1:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: 2013 Darwin Awards

lipidquadcab wrote:
Maybe I'm a traditionalist or just full of shit but didn't the Darwin Awards always have to do with people dying in hilariously stupid ways? A lot of those are funny stories, but the people are still around to keep spreading their genes...

Winners always die.
Honorable mentions usually just maim themselves in hilarious ways.

Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC - 6 hours [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
https://www.phpbb.com/