Since this has been another week of people violating common public decency, let's create a list.

Texting/Talking/Surfing on your phone in a movie.
Driving less than 10 MPH over the speed limit in the left lane on any road that has a left lane.
Using a check at a grocery store.
Taking children to any restaurant if they are still in the screaming/yelling/crying part of life unless this restaurant has as part of it's adult menu pizza, hot dogs, or chicken fingers.
Having an argument with a significant other on your phone in public. It's funny for the first two minutes but yelling into the phone that you are "Living your life and are going to do what you do and be happy" gets old.
Waiting for someone to leave a parking space when they are not sitting in the drivers seat with the lights on. Find another spot fatty.
Asking someone you don't know to watch your bag and laptop at the airport while they quickly run to the bathroom or to get some food.
Standing in a doorway into a restaurant when the temperature outside is lower than 60 degrees.
Standing even for half a second at the bottom of an escalator.
Leaving a shopping cart in a parking lot besides the cart corral. If no corral exists, put the cart up against a curb or combine it with another cart.
Talking on an elevator to anyone you don't know or with someone you do know when others are on it.
Smoking around anyone else. I understand it is cold outside, but it isn't any warmer 5 feet from the door to the mall or 50 feet away.
Talking down or berating any non-manager at any establishment. I doubt they are the one that decided your DOUBLE MATCH COUPON isn't valid when you also are using your SUPER SAVINGS COUPON.

Add more, or don't.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Driving a car/truck without a functioning muffler. God damn redneck assholes waking me up at 5:30 am with their shitbox vehicles.

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

Spitting on a sidewalk. Hock your loogie in the grass or in a bush, ya cretin.

Clipping your fingernails anywhere but in the comfort of your home.

parking your car in your driveway such that it blocks the sidewalk
such behavior is amplified in the winter with the snow as well
these people should have their cars keyed maybe then they'd think twice

glad you left off smoking ecigs
nothing like delicious nicotine vapor mmmmm

I've been lucky enough to avoid that type of toxic air so far.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Parking on your front yard. Diagonally to the driveway.

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Middle Aged Crazy, like Uncle Terry

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That's my purse! I don't know you!

I disagree. Those things get increasingly funnier as they go on in most cases.

Wearing bedclothes or pool attire on an airplane.

Allowing your kid to run wild in a restaurant. My wife and I were in Buffalo Wild Wings in Northbrook, I think about a year ago. I remember Wisconsin and Michigan State were playing in the championship game. There was a large group of typical North Shore assholes at a big table. Maybe four men and four women. All around my age or a little older. They were across the room from us enjoying their dinner and having nice conversation. Meanwhile, around our table about seven or eight kids between about seven and ten years old were running loose and circling us, screaming and yelling. It was obvious they belonged to the adults I described. On our way out, my wife walked over to the douchiest looking asshole in the group and said, "Nice job of controlling your children." The guy said, "Oh, those aren't our kids." What a pussy!

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Stop pulling into parking lots or side streets and immediately stopping to ponder your next move, you're setting up the person behind you to get hit.


Dont think you can get around these social norms by mentioning them. (i.e. Dont mention how other people's fantasy teams are not interesting and then go into your fantasy story thinking your immune)



Dont leave less than one cup in a community coffee pot/urn

Good one. I'd add people who drive really slowly while looking for something in their car. Either pull over and put on your blinker or wait until you've parked to do what is so important. It makes it just hard enough to pass them because you don't know if halfway through they'll speed up.

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You do not talk to me like that! I work too hard to deal with this stuff! I work too hard! I'm an important member of the CSFMB! I drive a Dodge Stratus!

Don't allow your dog to go off-leash and charge me and then just say "sorry" or "he's really friendly". Control that fucking beast.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Parking in the Fire Lane, or anywhere right outside of a store, because you or your passenger are "only going in for a few things." Do you see that giant area over there with all the yellow lines and cars? That's the parking lot. It's where all the people who are also "only going in for a few things" park. You are able-bodied yet have no qualms about parking about 30 feet closer to the store than where people who are legitimately handicapped have to park, not to mention directly under a sign that says "No Parking. Fire Lane."

Don't bring extra items through the express checkout. 200 cans of pineapple juice aren't one item.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

I would like to update this to "Wearing bedclothes anywhere in public"

RFDC's facebook friend with that skin disease is gonna beat the fuck out of you

Don't shoot people.

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Hey sandwich and drink makers, I dont want to chat, I dont wanna even look you in the eye. Make my fucking item, Ill pay you, and let's just both move on with our lives.

I really don't have a problem with this, especially with older people, but for the love of christ fill out the store name, date, and sign it so all you have to do is write down the total when its given.

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holy shit that's a GREAT one...at my last job there were several times i'd make a pot...go back to my office and come back 10-15 minutes later to find like nothing left, and no one started a new pot

I'm fine with that. It really disturbs me on a flight, though. If you want to wear pajamas to school and look like a fucking slob, I generally don't have much issue with it.

Also, if you're going to wear open-toed shoes, you should make sure your feet are presentable. To me, that means a reasonably recent pedicure for a woman and neatly trimmed nails for a man. I don't want to see your fucking toe jam. And if you have freakish feet, just don't wear them. Get some proper footwear.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Id feel comfortable saying 99.9 % of them dont do that

My bank is PNC, which was formerly National City- like 2-3 years ago
i still have checks from National City- with my ex wife's name on them and a completely different account number
they still work. it's kind of weird
write maybe 2-3 checks a year , if that

I agree. If you do it properly, writing a check is the quickest way through.

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Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?
Can you tell me where he's gone?
I thought I saw him walkin' up to The Hill
With Elon, Tulsi, and Don

Any phone conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds in public is too long. I don't want to hear about your weekend plans or skin rash on my train ride home.

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GOGGLES is going to pissed at the both of you.

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2018
#ExtendLafleur
10 More Wins

No way bro. GOGGLES is the last guy you have to worry about refilling stuff

He does the ice trays at least twice a day

clipping the fingernails. putting on makeup on the train. not stopping for pedestrians trying to cross at the corner.

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Reality is your friend, not your enemy. -- Seacrest

Yeah at certain stores it takes what seems like forever. It used to be "swipe, enter pin, done." Now its, swipe, select debit or credit, enter pin, do you wish to donate to blah blah blah cause, do you want cash back, is amount correct....

Sometimes its a real pain in the ass. I've found that Aldi is one of the quickest. Cashier asks you how you are paying as s/he is scanning, asks if you want cash back, and the entire transaction takes about 15 seconds.

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