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PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 10:47 pm 
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On 2nd thought,maybe I will skip the Wolf Tee!

Check out the comment section. :lol:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mountain-Spir ... s_ap_3_fbt

17 of 25 people found the following review helpful
A bit pricey for a spankercheif
By Crosby8787 on September 8, 2012I needed to find a spankercheif that could contest with taking a countless load pounding on a daily basis. Tube socks and kleenex just wouldn't hack it anymore, it was "go big" time. I called on the power of the wolf to solve my chronic ongoing problem. I have never been happier. Ultra absorbant, durable, it's the perfect money shot go to guy. It's a bit pricey for the purpose, but there's nothing more satisfying than hosing down the moon when you are buck naked sitting on your bean bag chair in your trailer wearing nothing but cowboy boots and a mouth full of copenhagen.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 10:56 pm 
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Also check out the Tuscan Milk, 1 Gallon entry.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 11:29 pm 
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The Haribo Gummy Candy reviews still beat everything.

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC

"Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile."

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 08, 2014 11:34 pm 
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http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-571-Banan ... roduct_top

For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed. No longer consumed by seething anger and animosity towards thick-skinned yellow fruit, I was able to concentrate on my love of theatre and am writing a musical play about two lovers from rival gangs that just try to make it in the world. I think I'll call it South Side Story.

Banana slicer...thanks to you, I see greatness on the horizon.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 8:37 am 
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http://www.amazon.com/Kleenex-Facial-Ti ... ewpoints=1

Quote:
By James O. Thach
This review is from: Kleenex Facial Tissue, White (Pack of 36) (Health and Beauty)
I want to start this off by thanking Kleenex for selling these in 36-packs. I've put it on subscription, and if they want to start selling a 72-pack, sign me up. I have three reasons for needing this much Kleenex, and their names are Liam, Samuel and Hank.

This is how it goes in this house. First the Kleenex disappears. Then the toilet paper. Then they go for fabrics. And you don't want it to get there, unless you're ready to invest in a five gallon drum of Fabreeze.

This used to be a good Christian home. But it's not about moral judgment anymore. I'm way beyond that. I'm in survival mode. If I don't supply absorbent paper products, I'm going to find my dish towels hidden in the basement, stiff as aluminum. The other day, I almost cut my hand on a sock. I am sorry to speak so frankly, but with three teenage boys, a woman has got to be practical.

The funny part is, they think they're being sneaky, with their 45 minute showers and sudden need for "privacy", as if I'm going to walk in on them journaling. They slink around the house like unfixed cats, while I try to announce my location at all times. No one needs to ask me to knock anymore. I knock on the walls. I practically wear a cow bell. I'm not looking to catch anyone by surprise, believe me. I'm just trying to get through this.

The other day my husband was watching me unload the groceries, and he asks me, all sweetness and light, "Honey, what're you doing with all that Kleenex?"

I about knocked him off his chair.

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 8:53 am 
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Location: Chicago
pizza_Place: Lou Malanati's
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
The Haribo Gummy Candy reviews still beat everything.

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC

"Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile."


Had a showing in Chicago heights. Gonna be a long drive so I stop at CVS and get a small bad of these.

Get to the showing early, as it is a big building and I need to turn the lights on and "RED ALERT" I have to find the bathroom! Not that hard considering it is a 7 story building with about 50 bathrooms! Thus run in and the explosion starts....I mean I am in ultra pain! While on the throne I call my guy and tell him I cant make it, but the door is open and he can walk around. Yes, very bad of me , but at least he got into the building. Technically I was there, just incapacitated!

_________________
"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 9:00 am 
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bigfan wrote:
Had a showing in Chicago heights. Gonna be a long drive so I stop at CVS and get a small bad of these.

Get to the showing early, as it is a big building and I need to turn the lights on and "RED ALERT" I have to find the bathroom! Not that hard considering it is a 7 story building with about 50 bathrooms! Thus run in and the explosion starts....I mean I am in ultra pain! While on the throne I call my guy and tell him I cant make it, but the door is open and he can walk around. Yes, very bad of me , but at least he got into the building. Technically I was there, just incapacitated!


you need context in your thoughts

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 9:08 am 
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pizza_Place: Lou Malanati's
Here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fu5i2gguCH0

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 10:30 am 
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Location: My Pants
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bigfan wrote:
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote:
The Haribo Gummy Candy reviews still beat everything.

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC

"Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman. All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened. I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating. She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left. She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc. Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day. I can't imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day. I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you. And please, don't post a video review during the aftershocks.

PS: When I ordered these, the warnings and disclaimers and legalese were NOT posted. I'm not a moron. Also, not sure why so many people assume I'm a man. I am a woman. We poop too. Of course, our poop sparkles and smells like a walk in a meadow of wildflowers. Thanks for all the great comments. I've been enjoying reading them and so glad that the horror show I experienced from snacking on these has at least made some people smile."


Had a showing in Chicago heights. Gonna be a long drive so I stop at CVS and get a small bad of these.

Get to the showing early, as it is a big building and I need to turn the lights on and "RED ALERT" I have to find the bathroom! Not that hard considering it is a 7 story building with about 50 bathrooms! Thus run in and the explosion starts....I mean I am in ultra pain! While on the throne I call my guy and tell him I cant make it, but the door is open and he can walk around. Yes, very bad of me , but at least he got into the building. Technically I was there, just incapacitated!


Ha! I've never had any interest in trying these, but part of me now wants to for validation.

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I don't like white rappers.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 11:50 am 
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It's the artificial sweetener in the sugarless gummi bears that causes the stomach pain.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 11:55 am 
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I was unaware of this issue when I purchased them. Maybe 30 in the bag I bought.

It was terrible!

Hoffy, next time I see you I will just punch you in the stomach 10 times and you will save the $3.

I am amazed they are allowed to even sell these!

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"That's what the internet is for. Slandering others anonymously." Banky
“Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey ‘He said for you to give me your fuckin’ share.’”


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 7:38 pm 
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bigfan wrote:
I was unaware of this issue when I purchased them. Maybe 30 in the bag I bought.

It was terrible!

Hoffy, next time I see you I will just punch you in the stomach 10 times and you will save the $3.

I am amazed they are allowed to even sell these!


As long as you buy me a beer after punching me ten times, I'm in.

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I don't like white rappers.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 7:43 pm 
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Remember WOW chips? Pretty sure there was a warning label on the bag that stated consumption can cause "anal leakage."

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 09, 2014 9:36 pm 
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redskingreg wrote:
Remember WOW chips? Pretty sure there was a warning label on the bag that stated consumption can cause "anal leakage."


"This Product contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added."

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:06 am 
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Chus wrote:
redskingreg wrote:
Remember WOW chips? Pretty sure there was a warning label on the bag that stated consumption can cause "anal leakage."


"This Product contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added."


I was close! I will never forget those loose stools.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 10, 2014 9:07 am 
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redskingreg wrote:
Chus wrote:
redskingreg wrote:
Remember WOW chips? Pretty sure there was a warning label on the bag that stated consumption can cause "anal leakage."


"This Product contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added."


I was close! I will never forget those loose stools.


How could you?

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<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way


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