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| Raw cookie dough https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=89227 |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Raw cookie dough |
So... they make these premade cookies. You just need to put the cookie dough cutouts in the oven. You've seen them. I ate two raw cookies. Will I die? If so... will it be painful? |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Oh.. and I've had 6 fingers of Chivas. |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Darkside wrote: So... they make these premade cookies. You just need to put the cookie dough cutouts in the oven. You've seen them. I ate two raw cookies. Will I die? If so... will it be painful? No. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. They don't really expect anyone to heat them up. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
leashyourkids wrote: Darkside wrote: So... they make these premade cookies. You just need to put the cookie dough cutouts in the oven. You've seen them. I ate two raw cookies. Will I die? If so... will it be painful? No. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. They don't really expect anyone to heat them up. It actually says "Please do not eat raw cookie dough" on the label. These were pumpkin cookies with cream cheese chips. Magnificent. For the record, of all the way to get poisoned, this one was pretty damn good. |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
I never saw the "not." I always thought they were encouraging me to eat them raw. Live and learn. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
leashyourkids wrote: I never saw the "not." I always thought they were encouraging me to eat them raw. Live and learn. I'm going to assume that the scotch will kill the deadly chicken germs. |
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| Author: | Zizou [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
You will be shitting brown water for the next 48 hours. |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Zizou wrote: You will be shitting brown water for the next 48 hours. I'll take it. It's usually red. |
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| Author: | Zizou [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
You can get "worms" from eating raw cookie dough. If one of these things falls out of your ass don't be surprised. 
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| Author: | Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
When you die, can I have your car? |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 11:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote: When you die, can I have your car? It's more of a truck. Although you can haul dirt in it. That's cool. |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 11:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Zizou wrote: You can get "worms" from eating raw cookie dough. If one of these things falls out of your ass don't be surprised. A sea lamprey? |
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| Author: | Telegram Sam [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 11:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
On the time scale of the history of the Earth an individual human lifetime is a mere blink of an eye. We're born, we live, and we die--and then we are "heard no more." Death is like a dreamless sleep from which we will never awake, our consciousness snuffed out forever. If this life is all there is, what is the point of living? If we're all going to be dead in the end anyway, what difference does it make what we do with our lives? We may influence the lives of others, but they too are doomed to death. In a few generations most of our accomplishments will be totally forgotten, the memories of our lives reduced to a mere name etched on a tombstone or written on a genealogy chart. In a few centuries even our tombstones will be unreadable due to weathering; our skeletal remains will be all that is left of us. Barring fossilization, these too will be disintegrated into the earth and no trace of us will remain. The matter from which we were made will be absorbed into other organisms--plants, animals, even other human beings. New species will appear, flourish, and disappear, soon to be replaced by others filling in the niche left by their extinction. Human beings too will succumb to extinction. All life on Earth will be wiped out when our dying sun expands into a red giant, finally engulfing the Earth. Ultimately the universe will be incapable of supporting any life as it expands forever, leaving only residual heat and evaporating black holes, or contracts back on itself, fusing all matter and energy into a final Big Crunch. Either way, all life in the universe will disappear forever. Eat all the fucking cookie dough you want, Darkside. |
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| Author: | FavreFan [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 11:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Nobody has ever fucking died from eating raw cookie dough. There's a reason it's 10x more delicious than actual cookies. You're fine dude. |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Wed Sep 17, 2014 11:22 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
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| Author: | Chus [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 12:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
FavreFan wrote: Nobody has ever fucking died from eating raw cookie dough. There's a reason it's 10x more delicious than actual cookies. You're fine dude. Cookie Dough > Caffeine > Weed |
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| Author: | T-Bone [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 6:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Darkside wrote: Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote: When you die, can I have your car? It's more of a truck. Although you can haul dirt in it. That's cool. 
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| Author: | T-Bone [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 6:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
When I was in junior high my mom made a batch of homemade cookie dough. Over the course of the day while it was chilling in the fridge I got in there a number of times and ate it out of the bowl. I ended up getting Salmonella food poisoning from it. Pretty uncomfortable few days there. I've continued to eat raw cookie dough over the course of the following 25 years with no repercussions. You should be ok. |
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| Author: | Bagels [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 6:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
what's the reason why you aren't supposed to eat it raw ? raw eggs ? i guess eating raw flour probably isn't too good either |
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| Author: | rogers park bryan [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 6:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Not a huge fan of this guy but this was good Patton OswaltVerified account @pattonoswalt "Please don't eat raw cookie dough." Why, Pillsbury? Worried I might be happy for FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES? #christmas #drunk #crying And no you wont die, you would have probably died if you HADN'T eaten a couple cold ones |
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| Author: | Godfella [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Bagels wrote: what's the reason why you aren't supposed to eat it raw ? raw eggs ? i guess eating raw flour probably isn't too good either "Never eat raw eggs - only drink dem." -Rocky Balboa |
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Darkside wrote: Oh.. and I've had 6 fingers of Chivas. Chas wants to know how that worked out for ya.
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| Author: | bigfan [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 7:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Darkside wrote: So... they make these premade cookies. You just need to put the cookie dough cutouts in the oven. You've seen them. I ate two raw cookies. Will I die? If so... will it be painful? Stoned in college, lived within 200 feet of a Circle K (Arizonan for 7-11), "Yo lets split a tube of dough!"...it was essentially a meal for the 2 AM hour. |
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| Author: | Chris_in_joliet [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 11:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
http://www.thecookiedoughcafe.com/ These guys were on Shark Tank awhile ago (Im addicted to this show) Takes the eggs out of the process I believe. Or you could just hike up your skirt and not worry about it. 
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| Author: | Councilman Les Whinen [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 2:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Chus wrote: FavreFan wrote: Nobody has ever fucking died from eating raw cookie dough. There's a reason it's 10x more delicious than actual cookies. You're fine dude. Cookie Dough > Caffeine > Weed Cookie Dough after weed > Cookie dough |
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| Author: | Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:11 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Darkside wrote: Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote: When you die, can I have your car? It's more of a truck. Although you can haul dirt in it. That's cool. Excellent. |
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| Author: | Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Chris_in_joliet wrote: http://www.thecookiedoughcafe.com/ These guys were on Shark Tank awhile ago (Im addicted to this show) Takes the eggs out of the process I believe. Or you could just hike up your skirt and not worry about it. I'm pretty sure CiJ just called Darkside a nancy. |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote: Chris_in_joliet wrote: http://www.thecookiedoughcafe.com/ These guys were on Shark Tank awhile ago (Im addicted to this show) Takes the eggs out of the process I believe. Or you could just hike up your skirt and not worry about it. I'm pretty sure CiJ just called Darkside a nancy. Well he can just suck on my pee pee cant he? |
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| Author: | Don Tiny [ Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Raw cookie dough |
Darkside wrote: Crystal Lake Hoffy wrote: Chris_in_joliet wrote: http://www.thecookiedoughcafe.com/ These guys were on Shark Tank awhile ago (Im addicted to this show) Takes the eggs out of the process I believe. Or you could just hike up your skirt and not worry about it. I'm pretty sure CiJ just called Darkside a nancy. Well he can just suck on my pee pee cant he? Technically, I believe that it is possible that he can, yes. |
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