So, I went to a child birthing class today with my wife. She is due in two months. Before I describe the class, I will say that I am 100% committed to being there for my wife and helping her through the difficult and painful process of having a child.

However...

The videos shown today and some of the activities we were asked to do are very unnatural and disturbing. Among them was a massage activity, a breastfeeding activity, and a "swaddle" activity (that one was fine). The videos shown were the most disturbing. All I heard about was how these feminine fathers wanted to "experience" child birth. Why? Why would a man want to experience child birth? We were born men. I most definitely do NOT want to experience child birth. I will stick with my natural pain-causing experiences, such as prostate exams and cheering for the Bears.

But beyond that, I find the entire trend to be troubling. I fully understand and support the right of gay couples or transgendered couples to have babies or whatever the hell they want to do. I am not a part of one of those couples. I am a man (but I'm not 40). I was born a man. Am I supposed to apologize for being a man? I am here to impregnate my wife and to support her once she is impregnated (which I have done to this point and will continue to do). My wife is very cool, and I am very fortunate to have someone who understands and accepts that she is the primary participant in the child-bearing process and that she was born that way. She expects me to be there to support her, which I will. But I will NOT be there to tell her that I wish I could experience what she is going through. I will NOT be bringing heated oils into the room to rub on her body. I will NOT be wishing I could change places with her. I am not pregnant. She is.

The whole thing is weird. I work with a lot of men who don't seem to act like men, and most of them have had kids before. It feels to me like the socialization process associated with child birth is as much about socializing a man to believe he is not a man as much as it exists to educate couples. But if you have good people who understand they are a team, none of it is necessary, and it is almost certainly overkill. I'm sure I'll take heat for these thoughts, but the entire day weirded me out today.

I will add that no one would describe me as "sensitive", but almost everyone would certainly describe me as committed and willing to play my role. And I definitely am. There is a difference, however, between holding up your end and ignoring completely the role that you were biologically determined to play.

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No need to qualify or apologize for your feelings. That is some seriously weird shit. No one should want to experience child birth. I have yet to find anyone who had a positive experience. In fact I know several women who will not consider a second child because of the process.

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Hawaii (fuck) You

You socialize with some weird fucking people Leash. I don't know about you sometimes.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Just wait until you have kids (don't I sound like Nas ). You will come back here and completely relate with what I mean.

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Our last child was born in 1992, long before the pussification began. What is happening today is just ridiculous.

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CSFMB 2014 Nascar Pick 'em Champion

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much. — Ronald Reagan

THANK YOU! I can always count on Scorehead to agree with me.

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Ours were born then too. Thank God. Then it was Lamaze class and that was bad enough. With the first one I think it lasted about 2 minutes in the delivery room before my wife said enough of that.

And after each kid was born I couldn't get out of the hospital and to a bar fast enough.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

A retard is now my favorite poster. Seriously. I started to wonder today if I was a selfish asshole.

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I'm here for you. Arent some new Fathers taking maternity leave now too? WTF has happened to our society and Manhood?

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CSFMB 2014 Nascar Pick 'em Champion

We don’t have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven’t taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much. — Ronald Reagan

Capitalization of common nouns has Led to the Pussification of america.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Oh, you're the grammar police now?

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More like the Grammar Police, AMIRITE?

Bunch a slack jawed burrito gots around here. This stuff will make you a god damned sexual tyrannasaurus!

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

No. It's just weird the way Scorehead types. Fuck off, Leash.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

Unable to masturbate due to stubby arms?

Wow. That's so sad. I never thought of that.

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

Them going extinct was a mercy killing...

Lots of people without kids posting in this thread

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FavreFan hates me.

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I love everybody.

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Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul

I love you too.

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I know what you are saying Leash,
When my wife was pregnant the first time, we mistakenly went to one of these classes and thus my first experience with granola and breastfeeding nazis. At the class, they asked who was planning to go through natural birth. Every other woman in the room except my wife raised their hand. The teacher singled us out and asked why we weren't considering it. I said, it wasn't my choice and I don't care one way or the other. Then she looked at my wife and said, well don't you want to experience the miracle of childbirth? My wife's response was, No. Give me all the drugs.

Later on, they asked who was planning to breastfeed, again every other mother's hand went up except my wife. Again when confronted, my wife said she wasn't planning to because she has chronic migranes and the medication she takes to combat them are not to be taken by pregnant or breastfeeding mothers. She said she has been off the meds for the whole pregnancy and it has been difficult. The nazi said, well breastfeeding is better for the child, can't you suck it up for another year? My wife's response; I could, but I would probably do something I regret to the child when I am on the 28th hour of a migraine and the child is screaming because it is colicky.

I hate these people. We didn't go back the second day. Plus the class didn't tell us anything we didn't know, It was more for the 15 year old kid who was there with her boyfriend.

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This is pretty much how it was today for us, too. Most of the information was common sense (a small bit was good), but the leader actually made us get in groups based on who was using pain killers and who wasn't. My wife and I actually hadn't discussed our final plans yet, but we've both done a ton of research and there's really not a big downside (unless you want to buy into the "one-off" stories that happen to .00000000001%). I told my wife I didn't care what she did, but if it was me, I would be taking pain meds (and not even because I love drugs). So we got in the pain med group. The woman was like "after you hear what I have to say, I think you'll all change your minds." No. I won't. And why the hell did you set us up like that, ya' fuckin' Feminazi?

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They really should make these classes optional

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They are, but moms to be feel like they HAVE to do them.

Also, my wife recommends the epidural to everyone she talks to.

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I was kidding

We went once for the first kid. It was boring.

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Let me tell you... giving your "partner" a massage in the same room as 5 other couples is definitely not boring. It's fucking weird. Especially when the fat, ugly couple next to you is starting to up the ante.

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it seems like it would make a lot more sense to not get pregnant and just adopt an asian baby. theres a ton of them and it would prevent an unnatural child birth.

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the world will always the world. your entire existence is defined by your response.

I don't have money for auto accidents.

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I figured this thread was going to be about Chris in Joliet's first post on the board.

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Sex isn't dirty, sex isn't a crime. It's a loving act between two or more consenting adults.

-Hank Kingsley