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Am I being too sensitive?
https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=90017
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Author:  shirtless driver [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 12:20 am ]
Post subject:  Am I being too sensitive?

I'm ready for the tl;dr reaction, but....

My 3rd grader daughter had this letter in her take-home folder tonight, and it's just kind of rubbing me the wrong way.

"Dear Parents,
Your child was responsible enough to earn 7 or more out of 9 pieces of "(Teacher's Name) Dough"
for having their assignment notebook signed by a parent/guardian for this last grading period.
As a reward, we are going to be having lunch/recess together in the room next week:Nov. 3-6.
On Thursday of that week, November 6th, I will be providing Domino's Pizza for lunch.
Please just send in a drink with your child for this day.
Thank you for helping your child in being a successful and organized student!!
Sincerely,
Mrs. xxxxx"

Here's why I'm bothered:
My kid is being rewarded, and other kids are not, due to something their parents did or didn't do.
If you're an 8 year old girl, lunch and recess with your "bff" are pretty important.
My kid gets to spend a whole week during that time in a classroom with her teacher
and the "responsible" kids. The other kids in the class who, of no fault of their own, will
go on as usual, but the message being sent is (in my opinion, at this time) is almost one of
ostracization. And some kids can be mean, I only pray mine isn't one of them.
It just seems counter-productive.
With all the shit kids have to grow up with in public schools, being left out of pizza day
because your mom or dad forgot to sign something is just unneeded.
Send a personal note home, or email them, if you think the student might be slacking.
Or let the parent know that THEY are slacking. You don't have to make it for all to see.
Example:
Susie's in the special lunch because her Mommy cares more than mine does :oops: .
Yeah, kids DO think like that sometimes, 8 year olds are not idiots, and it upsets me.

I'm not really a "Participation Trophy" kind of parent, because my wife and I encourage
our kid and she knows we have expectations.

I guess what I'm saying in this long winded, not fully thought out post is that
I don't want other kids to potentially feel humiliated for no reason.
And as a kid who was raised in the public school free lunch program, by soph. year,
I eventually found it less embarrassing to go up to jrs and srs and tell a joke or something
for some change so I could just buy lunch in the normal line, and not line up and have my card punched.
I was never a bully, and I was never bullied. But it's different these days. And it can start very small.
Thanks for reading.
:(

Author:  Hockey Gay [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 1:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Schools have always been ostracizing. That's seriously the main point of school. "You're special so here's a reward and you're a dipshit so fuck you and fuck off". Your point is reasonable and I share your concerns but hey, what you gonna do?

Author:  Spaulding [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 1:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

That's a pretty big reward for having your stuff signed. You know how many kids made it and how many are being excluded?

Author:  Rod [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

A good friend of mine had her kid in karate starting when the kid was five years old. He's thirteen now and a double black belt, but early on in the kid's karate career his sensei sent the students home with a sheet that asked parents to sign if the student had been particularly obedient and helpful around the house. Those that brought a signed sheet back would receive a star to be applied to their belts.

So the kid asked his mom, my friend, to sign and she said, "What have you done around the house? I asked you to put your clothes away and you didn't even do that. I can't sign it." The kid pouted a little, but that was that. Of course, every other little bastard in the dojo received a star except this poor guy, who is really a good kid.

My friend was telling me about it and I started laughing at her as I was shocked she didn't realize what was going to happen. She felt bad that her kid was the only one without a star, but she just couldn't break her personal morality by ignoring the rules. I told her that next time she just has to sign no matter what. She couldn't get her head around that.

Author:  Crystal Lake Hoffy [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

No, I don't think you are being too sensitive. There are a LOT of shitty parents out there. Having met other parents through my kids' activities and through school, I've heard my share of stories. Case in point, there is a divorced mom who complained to me about the week their kid is at the ex's house. The ex doesn't think its his job to help with homework or sign stuff. Obviously the kid is getting screwed over, but you know that the kid is not going to tell the teacher, "sorry my homework is wrong, my dad is a shithead." Looking at it from the teacher's POV, they probably hit the point where they are at wits end trying to get parents to be involved. Either they have decided to start rewarding out of frustration or they just are oblivious to the consequences. You would think its the kids whose parents aren't engaged that would be the ones you need to be more inclusive with. I'm sure good teachers realize this.

Author:  Chris_in_joliet [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

I've seen people here be quite a bit more sensitive to things that doesn't effect them personally so I think you're ok actually.

Author:  badrogue17 [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

I think the psychological damage done to the "good" kids by forcing them to eat Dominoes pizza as a reward is far worse than not being invited at all.

Author:  veganfan21 [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Are you sure the kids are being split up, or is the entire class rewarded due to the actions of some of them.

Author:  Rod [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 6:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Tim Beckman said team had "All In" Banquet this morning for those who made "All In" Club.

"All In" Club were those that had 100% participation in all winter workouts, passed grade in other areas. They had steak, eggs, etc.

Those not in "All In" Club had porridge for breakfast, Beckman said.

Author:  a retard [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

veganfan21 wrote:
Are you sure the kids are being split up, or is the entire class rewarded due to the actions of some of them.


That was my reaction too.

Regardless, it is a lazy teacher. Instead she should be emailing or on the phone with the parents of the kids with the missing sigs.

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Im with you Shirtless, thats fucked up.


But the signing of things on a daily basis is pretty crazy. I understand it but its just so different than when I was a kid. Its extremely important to them, now. To a level beyond just wanting to keep parents involved.


But to punish the kid is wrong. If the kid isnt getting stuff signed, contact the parents and deal with them.

Author:  badrogue17 [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

rogers park bryan wrote:
Im with you Shirtless, thats fucked up.


But the signing of things on a daily basis is pretty crazy. I understand it but its just so different than when I was a kid. Its extremely important to them, now. To a level beyond just wanting to keep parents involved.


But to punish the kid is wrong. If the kid isnt getting stuff signed, contact the parents and deal with them.

I think the signing of things is to insure that the parent is aware of what progress is or isn't being made by the student so that when grades come out the parent doesn't pitch a fit with the "I had to idea he\ she wasn't doing their homework/ completing assignments".

Author:  Nas [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
A good friend of mine had her kid in karate starting when the kid was five years old. He's thirteen now and a double black belt, but early on in the kid's karate career his sensei sent the students home with a sheet that asked parents to sign if the student had been particularly obedient and helpful around the house. Those that brought a signed sheet back would receive a star to be applied to their belts.

So the kid asked his mom, my friend, to sign and she said, "What have you done around the house? I asked you to put your clothes away and you didn't even do that. I can't sign it." The kid pouted a little, but that was that. Of course, every other little bastard in the dojo received a star except this poor guy, who is really a good kid.

My friend was telling me about it and I started laughing at her as I was shocked she didn't realize what was going to happen. She felt bad that her kid was the only one without a star, but she just couldn't break her personal morality by ignoring the rules. I told her that next time she just has to sign no matter what. She couldn't get her head around that.


You don't get something for doing nothing. I think she may have been the only parent to get it right. You appreciate things more when they aren't handed to you.

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

badrogue17 wrote:
rogers park bryan wrote:
Im with you Shirtless, thats fucked up.


But the signing of things on a daily basis is pretty crazy. I understand it but its just so different than when I was a kid. Its extremely important to them, now. To a level beyond just wanting to keep parents involved.


But to punish the kid is wrong. If the kid isnt getting stuff signed, contact the parents and deal with them.

I think the signing of things is to insure that the parent is aware of what progress is or isn't being made by the student so that when grades come out the parent doesn't pitch a fit with the "I had to idea he\ she wasn't doing their homework/ completing assignments".

Yeah, that's definitely the reason but its just so ramped up. I sign a reading sheet daily, initial the homework book daily, and sign the friday folder.

Im fine with it. I love helping my daughter with homework and knowing so much about her studies and what she's doing. I wish my parents had been a little more into it.

The most I got (and probably a lot of kids in that generation) was "Did you do your homework?"

Author:  Nas [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

a retard wrote:
veganfan21 wrote:
Are you sure the kids are being split up, or is the entire class rewarded due to the actions of some of them.


That was my reaction too.

Regardless, it is a lazy teacher. Instead she should be emailing or on the phone with the parents of the kids with the missing sigs.


From my experience teachers send home reminders and send emails all the time. Kids don't always give things to their parents for many reasons. Some parents aren't aware enough and others just don't care enough to keep up with these types of things.

Author:  badrogue17 [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Nas wrote:
a retard wrote:
veganfan21 wrote:
Are you sure the kids are being split up, or is the entire class rewarded due to the actions of some of them.


That was my reaction too.

Regardless, it is a lazy teacher. Instead she should be emailing or on the phone with the parents of the kids with the missing sigs.


From my experience teachers send home reminders and send emails all the time. Kids don't always give things to their parents for many reasons. Some parents aren't aware enough and others just don't care enough to keep up with these types of things.

Wish I could post some of the emails my wife sends to her students parents and the replies. Lots of uninvolved clueless parents and lots of anal retentive as well. Very little inbetween .

Author:  Nas [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

badrogue17 wrote:
Nas wrote:
a retard wrote:
veganfan21 wrote:
Are you sure the kids are being split up, or is the entire class rewarded due to the actions of some of them.


That was my reaction too.

Regardless, it is a lazy teacher. Instead she should be emailing or on the phone with the parents of the kids with the missing sigs.


From my experience teachers send home reminders and send emails all the time. Kids don't always give things to their parents for many reasons. Some parents aren't aware enough and others just don't care enough to keep up with these types of things.

Wish I could post some of the emails my wife sends to her students parents and the replies. Lots of uninvolved clueless parents and lots of anal retentive as well. Very little inbetween .


I can only imagine. I hear some of the worst complaints and excuses from parents. Unfortunately their kids are picking up these things.

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 7:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

badrogue17 wrote:
lots of anal retentive as well. Very little inbetween .

I email the teacher weekly with my thoughts and suggestions



No, but I did email her a couple weeks ago. We have access to their grades and she accidentally marked something as a 1/10 instead of 10/10

It affects the grade, so I brought it to her attention.

Author:  Brick [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Be happy for bad parents. It gives your kid a leg up on them and a better chance to have a more successful life.

Author:  Hawg Ass [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Somebody will always be complaining.

Author:  Frank Coztansa [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 9:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

IMO the whole week is kind of strange. Get them a pizza lunch one day, and that should be the end of it.

Author:  Hatchetman [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 9:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

If she wants to motivate, bring in some LaRosa. :lol:

Author:  Big Chicagoan [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

How about not over-analyzing this shit and just be happy that your daughter follows directions and doesn't hide shit from you on a daily basis?

Author:  jimmypasta [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Pizza for the 1%. If real life was like that,I would lead the revolt!

Author:  conns7901 [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

I love having online grading. Makes a life a lot easier.

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 12:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

conns7901 wrote:
Makes a life a lot easier.

Image

Author:  shirtless driver [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 1:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Thanks for all the input, folks.
Even Big Chicagoan. :wink:

I typed the letter from the teacher verbatim, but veganfan23 does pose a good question. I guess I'm not 100% sure
The way my wife and I read it was our kid was one of the kids responsible enough to earn the reward.
Monday-Thursday are all separate Lunch/recess, with pizza only being on Thursday. That's what the letter said.
I'll ask my wife to ask the teacher at drop-off tomorrow, or email her.

I don't know how many will be excluded, but it's a pretty large class size, so I'm hoping not that many.

Author:  rogers park bryan [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

Litany Of Lies: A Third-Grader’s Reading Log EXPOSED

At first glance, Taylor Munyon’s reading log for this week appears to be in order. The sheet is completely filled out, including the requisite parent signature for each entry, and he turned it in on time to Mr. Kuppershek. But we took a closer look at the third-grader’s weekly reading record and uncovered a series of inconsistencies that led us to a shocking conclusion:


Consider this entry, dated October 20, 2014:


Several details stand out. The first red flag is the page-to-minute ratio: 60 minutes for 60 pages. The symmetry is suspicious, as is the fact that a third-grader reading at top speed would be lucky to average 30 pages per hour, let alone 60. There’s no doubt about it: These books have been cooked. But the real giveaway? Taylor got his grandmother to sign the entry instead of his parents, shamelessly enlisting the elderly woman as an unwitting pawn in his scheme.

As you start to dig deeper, Taylor’s delicately constructed fiction begins to crumble.

In one perplexing entry, he feigns transparency by openly admitting to only reading The Golden Compass for 10 minutes, falling 20 minutes short of the half hour per night minimum. At first, this seems curious, and even, perhaps, truthful. But a simple analysis reveals the concession for what it is: a cynical ploy by a seasoned liar.

Though Taylor claims to have exceeded the weekly reading requirement for Mr. Kuppershek’s third-grade class, the entries on his log tell a different story: the story of a boy who didn’t want to read Superfudge when he got home from school, and was willing to do anything—even fabricate his entire reading log—to get out of it.

Taylor, of course, will deny this. He’ll tell you with a straight face that he read 40 pages of Roald Dahl’s The BFG in half an hour and finished Where The Red Fern Grows in two days. Because that’s what he does. This is the game he plays. And he gets away with it, too.

How long until someone holds him accountable for his actions? Days? Weeks? It’s hard to say. One thing is certain: Taylor should not be allowed to attend the Readers of the Month pizza party. Many students worked hard for that honor, and Taylor’s attendance would undoubtedly compromise the integrity of the event.

UPDATE:
In the time since we first ran this story, Mr. Kuppershek has launched an inquiry into the allegations levied against Taylor. If found guilty, Taylor faces a one-week suspension from recess and a detention.

Author:  shirtless driver [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Is that an Onion article?

Author:  Big Chicagoan [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive?

shirtless driver wrote:

I don't know how many will be excluded, but it's a pretty large class size, so I'm hoping not that many.


I'm confused. Would you rather more kids are "left out" or less kids? I mean, it would be worse if only a couple kids didn't get pizza, right? Or do you think its worse to have only a few kids get pizza?


On a similar topic: When my bro-in-law graduated from 8th grade catholic school, he was in a class with like 23 kids. At the ceremony, they gave out academic awards to the top 20 kids in the class. THAT is cold. Basically announcing to everyone at the graduation who the 3 dumb kids in class are as they sit there alone while their classmates receive an award.

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