trade in the refridgerator for a new wife that knows how to fill a fuckin tray with water and stick it in the freezer? you people and your first world problems jeezus christ

For real. I've got naked self-portraits of every woman I've ever hit on damn near every wall in the house.

Hell, I've got an ex that just walks around the house naked. I don't know how she got a key.

And we are fighting about how our ice is made.

Hell, I've got an ex that just walks around the house naked. I don't know how she got a key.

The "hired help" has to get in somehow.

Oh, right.

I had forgotten how difficult it was to post the naked maid ad.

ill never be married the first time a woman complains about how i fill a cup with water and drop my cigarette butts in it shes fuckin gone. every time

I like to think I'm smart but I have no idea what you're talking about.

Sorry.

(Edit: I should have said)The sheets of uncut Benjamin Franklins that you can buy at the Fed.

I forget that simple singles (or uncut sheets of singles) are beneath the Kenilworthians.

I like to think I'm smart but who is Benjamin Franklin?

I don't remember the last time I argued with my wife.

A thousand little disagreements is what can drive a guy crazy though.

Where's the line, Jimmy, between an argument and a disagreement?

well theres an answer inside the question

Where's the line, Jimmy, between an argument and a disagreement?

Real question.


Probably the first non-smart ass post of my career.

like what? bitching that the grass is too prickly? or how im never home because im working to pay her fucking bills? or she doesnt want to cook because it sucks? no, your cooking is what sucks its not the purpose of the task you dumbass bitch. what about when she complains how cold it is outside when she refuses to sit closer than 10ft from the fire? usually its the mosquitos that are unbearable but now its the fires fault for being too far away to keep you warm? and in the winter, my fucking god.. the thermostat is a fucking MACHINE, it doesnt have feelings, it doesnt change, it stays the same all the time. it is not cold in the house, your frigid personality is whats keeping you from warming up. grab a shovel and push the snow off the pavement bitch why the fuck do you think i never have a problem staying warm. yeah, love that sloppy ass to, way to go there with your genetics that have nothing to do with the donuts you eat everyday before you plow through 4 meals with icecream before bed. yeah, i get it, youre old. you were old when you hit 20, now youre old because youre 30, and guess what youll be disgusting by 40 because you eat shit and dont do shit. then once youre married you find out theres dudes out there that dont get married and just fuck married women like the one you have. yeah, im gettin married real soon. got it. keep askin me when. im on it. cant wait.

I need 10lbs of ice in all my drinks.

Example: When I come home,I leave my old gym shoes with the tongues ripped out by the door. I will never wear sandals or flip-flops. My wife takes my old shoes and throws them in the room. She keeps her shoes by the door though. That's a disagreement, I don't argue but I do disagree. Enough little things like that can drive a guy nuts or vice versa.

woah, hopefully you don't put ice in scotch/whiskey, that's blasphemous and possibly communisss. The only thing I like in my whiskey is more whiskey.

Where's the line, Jimmy, between an argument and a disagreement?

Real question.


Probably the first non-smart ass post of my career.

Vodka is better in 10 lbs of ice. I fill the glass to the top.