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PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2021 9:56 am 
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Regular Reader wrote:
The Liberty Mutual "nostalgic Christmas" commercial where one kid is overjoyed to get a new insurance policy and ends with a singularly unattractive woman grinning at the camera is repulsive.

They should just fire their marketing department for all of their damn commercials.


The woman who Bud Light cast in the role of the Browns fan looking in the fridge is possibly the ugliest woman to ever be filmed for legitimate purposes.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 5:57 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
The latest Advent Nose commercial where sleep apnea is like having someone break into your house and strangle you in your bed 100 times every night or something. The jaunty production music really clashes with Dr. Modern Kandula solemnly intoning a description of what's basically a murder scene.

UPDATE!

After describing sleep apnea as someone repeatedly smothering you with a pillow until you almost die only to let up and do it over again, he mentions having gotten some negative feedback. Maybe he reads the board. He adds "We painted a grim picture. But I'm not here to sugar-coat it." I should hope not, because it would be weird to pour boiling sugar all over your painting. Then he hits us with an all-timer: "Real lives are being blunted by this ticking time bomb." What does it mean to blunt a life? Are you ending a life, or just making it dull? What kind of bomb makes life dull? And how does a ticking time bomb blunt anything? If it's ticking, it hasn't detonated yet. It's not performing a continuous action of blunting, just a continuous action of ticking.

My theory: no one is intended to listen to any of this copy. He's just filling time until "BREATHE WELL WITH SIMPLE SOLUTIONS, ADVENT NOSE, DOT COM."

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 6:49 pm 
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“I’m doctor Myron Rolle.”

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 10:10 pm 
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Did you know Larry King is still doing commercials? I'm not sure but I think it's prostate health. He says he hasn't felt this good in 20 years

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 10:11 pm 
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Nardi wrote:
Did you know Larry King is still doing commercials? I'm not sure but I think it's prostate health. He says he hasn't felt this good in 20 years

Shalom Park Memorial Cemetery, Hullo!

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2021 11:52 pm 
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Nardi wrote:
Did you know Larry King is still doing commercials? I'm not sure but I think it's prostate health. He says he hasn't felt this good in 20 years



Much like Zombie Bob Rohrman, Larry King has been clinically deceased since the mid-1990's.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 9:33 pm 
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I don't know how much time you guys and girls spend watching YouTube. I spend a lot of time, because my wife and kid are always binging some bullshit on the TV. But I am BEYOND sick of those Dr. Squatch manscaping ads. And I finally saw one on TV. Gotdamn, I hate that asswipe. Here's another YouTube ad that I can't avoid. The B&H Photo ad where some annoying douchebag is "talking" to some jagoff named Fred who runs a home business doing fitness videos. I swear to God, I wanna punch them both in the throat. I'm sick and tired of everything at this point.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 9:45 pm 
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You need uBlock, man, YouTube is hell on earth without it

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 10:15 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
You need uBlock, man, YouTube is hell on earth without it


Do you know if it works on chromebooks?

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 10:20 pm 
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It's a Chrome extension, so I have no reason to believe it wouldn't. My laptop runs Windows, though, so I can't say for certain, but my guess is that it would work because it's a plugin rather than an application.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 10:57 pm 
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And it prevents youtube ads? just straight to the video with no interruptions?

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2021 11:05 pm 
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On second thought, I actually do have ublock on this thing, but apparently not when I'm in incognito mode, which I always use. Maybe I should just watch YouTube in regular mode.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2021 10:18 pm 
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“The all-new Kia Sorrento...the world’s first storytelling machine.”

Huh?

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 3:49 pm 
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Half of those from all makes are stupid...

The Nissan Rogue with it's "How Rogue do you want to go..."

When all the reviews come in that it's a bland, average, underwhelming, appliance of a small SUV amongst a sea of them...

Many of mine are most auto commercials where they tout the safety features of lane departure and other collision avoidance systems, showing the typical distracted group of young'ins more concerned with what's on the stupidphone than their driving... So you're basically showcasing features based on human stupidity. You can't control your vehicle, so we can. Maybe if you can't control your vehicle, you shouldn't be driving to begin with.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2021 3:54 pm 
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sup Panther?

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2021 10:46 am 
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How do they manage to make every 1-800-GOT-JUNK commercial worse than the last? That really takes some effort.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2021 12:15 pm 
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GMC commercial with that awful, annoying song.


GO. BOY. GO!


GO. BOY. GO!


GO. BOY. GO!!!!!

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 19, 2021 5:56 pm 
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Tad Queasy wrote:
How do they manage to make every 1-800-GOT-JUNK commercial worse than the last? That really takes some effort.

It feels like someone is drilling a hole through your brain! I'm gonna write one.

[insipid whistling]
"Hello, 1-800-GOT-JUNK, this is Sarah."
"I'm happy."
"I'm happy that you're happy."
"Do you want to know why?"
"Why?"
"I'm decluttering."
"That always makes me happy!"
"When you eat a hamburger, you throw the paper away."
"Yes."
"When you don't want junk anymore, you throw that away too."
"That's right!"
"Sarah?"
"Yes."
"I love you."
"You're great too!"
"It's time."
"We can be there in 90 minutes."
"I'm happy."

1-800-GOT-JUNK.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 21, 2021 4:42 pm 
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Wow! The Progressive Insurance lady just c.unt blocked Tammy.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2021 7:23 pm 
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The NURX birth control commercial features a woman who is obviously a dyke. So why does she need birth control? When your commercials are so woke they don't even make sense.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2021 7:29 pm 
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I wish those two who Live with AT&T would die with AT&T, and his buddy Bruce, too!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 07, 2021 7:35 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
The NURX birth control commercial features a woman who is obviously a dyke. So why does she need birth control? When your commercials are so woke they don't even make sense.

The Chads are running up the score so bad they're even banging lesbians on the side. They can't keep getting away with it!

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2021 10:15 pm 
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Now 1-800-GOT-JUNK has added Charlotte The Junk Fairy, who, when you give her advice, is required to tell you to exchange a cow for magic beans.

Image

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2021 5:53 pm 
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Joe Orr Road Rod wrote:
The NURX birth control commercial features a woman who is obviously a dyke. So why does she need birth control? When your commercials are so woke they don't even make sense.


you're talking about the one with the nose ring? I call her Lydia.

there are a few new ones for me...

All-State using a hood ornament to sing Pet Shop Boys' "Opportunities" makes me want to rip it right off the car and shove it up the Liberty Mutual's Cell Phone Boy's nostrils as he dives into a bed of rice.

ANY Discovery+ commercial, because they are A) Incessant on any of the networks it involves and B) Most of the programming they're peddling is reality trash that should be jettisoned off the planet and sent into a black hole, that winds up in the nostrils of the Cell Phone Boy from a parallel dimension.

Speaking of Liberty Mutual, they're all pretty terrible but the Zoom call between Doug and the Emu is especially root sucking.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 13, 2021 6:18 pm 
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No straight men listen to the Pet Shop Boys.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2021 8:12 pm 
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I meant straight black men.

Anyway, Lakeside Bank is feuding with David Hochberg. "I'm so tired of those angry mortgage bankers on the radio! If you don't have anything nice to say..."

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2021 8:29 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
I meant straight black men.

Anyway, Lakeside Bank is feuding with David Hochberg. "I'm so tired of those angry mortgage bankers on the radio! If you don't have anything nice to say..."


I wonder if my Lakeside guy (Andy Karabetsos of Stock & Jocks fame) is behind any of those spots.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2021 8:31 pm 
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Jaw Breaker wrote:
Stock & Jocks fame

I was gonna say "hah, yeah, fame" but I still remember that the host of Stocks & Jocks was "Dr. J" Jon Nazarian and now I feel embarrassed. I used to use my brain for stuff.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2021 8:39 pm 
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It's Najarian, so you have saved a few neurons for other things. :wink:

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2021 4:09 pm 
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In a blink and you might miss it moment, I just saw an ad for "Amazon Prime Day" which is selling you on the idea of transforming your living room, kitchen, yard or whatever in one day with a huge sale. In the yard scene, you'll see a big giggling shirtless black *bear* getting cuddled by a tattooed, big giggling shirtless white *bear* in a hot tub on the patio.

Now that's what I call intersectionality.
:roll:

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