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PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2022 8:22 am 
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Paddlin' the school canoe; oh you better believe that's a paddlin'.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2022 8:58 am 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1Ey01yDYJw

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 08, 2022 9:07 am 
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To alcohol!! The cause of… and solution too… all of life’s problems.


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 20, 2022 3:22 pm 
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So its standardized testing time again. Ever notice how the dumb kids fill in the wrong circles?

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Fare you well, fare you well
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2022 4:19 pm 
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In seventh grade I read Sammy Davis Jr's autobiography because it was mentioned on The Simpsons.

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2022 4:21 pm 
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SpiralStairs wrote:
In seventh grade I read Sammy Davis Jr's autobiography because it was mentioned on The Simpsons.
At least that has some value. I bought a Doodletown Pipers CD (seriously). :lol: :oops: :drunken:

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“Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation’s highest office.”- JD Vance
“My god, what an !diot.”- JD Vance tweet on Trump
“I’m a ‘Never Trump’ guy”- JD Vance


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2022 5:16 pm 
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"...and we're back, with more of "People Who Look Like Things"

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'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 21, 2022 7:43 pm 
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There’s no councilman Les Wynan!

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2022 8:37 am 
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Oh Shakazaramesh, will you ever learn?


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2022 11:58 am 
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La...tex con...dome? Boy I'd like to live in one of those!

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2022 7:20 pm 
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I hope they kill that Iron Yuppie.

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The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2022 9:04 pm 
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Hey, if you don’t like it, go to Russia!

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“Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation’s highest office.”- JD Vance
“My god, what an !diot.”- JD Vance tweet on Trump
“I’m a ‘Never Trump’ guy”- JD Vance


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 22, 2022 9:32 pm 
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I’m going outsiiide…tooo…stalk……Lenny and Carl.

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2022 12:01 am 
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Homer, I’m sorry. There's nothing worse than a yellow-bellied freak.....unless that's his act.

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 15, 2022 7:46 pm 
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I am so sick of that damn code!


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2022 8:29 am 
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I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2022 8:31 am 
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A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool. Like a butcher knife, or a harpoon, or... uh, a... an alligator. You just need more education on the subject. Tell you what. You come with me to an N.R.A. meeting, and if you still don't think guns are great, we can argue some more.

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2022 10:02 am 
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Marge, its 3am. Shouldn't you be baking?

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'Your AT&T Universal Card has arrived'? Oh God, Kick-fucking-ass, I got a Master Card! I don't believe it, man. Life is kinda cool sometimes.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 5:08 pm 
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Only who can prevent forest fires?

You pressed “you” referring to me. That’s incorrect. The correct answer is you.

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 6:35 pm 
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SpiralStairs wrote:
Only who can prevent forest fires?

You pressed “you” referring to me. That’s incorrect. The correct answer is you.


That one is an all-timer.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:47 pm 
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"Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."
"Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
"I don't know."

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Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 9:57 pm 
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Curious Hair wrote:
"Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me."
"Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?"
"I don't know."

"Nice plan, Bart!"

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I like black prostitutes from the 70's


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 10:12 pm 
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"I think women and seamen don't mix."

(Too obvious of a quote, but . . . )

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Warren Newson wrote:
I like black prostitutes from the 70's


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 10:17 pm 
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“Uh, I lost my map.”

“You haven’t been issued a map yet.”


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 10:22 pm 
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Warren Newson wrote:
SpiralStairs wrote:
Only who can prevent forest fires?

You pressed “you” referring to me. That’s incorrect. The correct answer is you.


That one is an all-timer.

When my oldest was an infant learning to talk, she had the you/me confusion. I always thought that’s where the joke came from.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 10:32 pm 
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The one Dr. Kevin quoted is probably my favorite of the second-string quotes. I say it to my wife and kids all the time.

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Warren Newson wrote:
I like black prostitutes from the 70's


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 11:33 pm 
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This Ends in Antioch wrote:
Warren Newson wrote:
SpiralStairs wrote:
Only who can prevent forest fires?

You pressed “you” referring to me. That’s incorrect. The correct answer is you.


That one is an all-timer.

When my oldest was an infant learning to talk, she had the you/me confusion. I always thought that’s where the joke came from.


Who knows? I'm not exactly breaking new ground here, but so much of comedy is building up your expectations and then frustrating those expectations. That joke just does an absolutely brilliant job of doing it.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2023 11:42 pm 
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Warren Newson wrote:
This Ends in Antioch wrote:
Warren Newson wrote:
SpiralStairs wrote:
Only who can prevent forest fires?

You pressed “you” referring to me. That’s incorrect. The correct answer is you.


That one is an all-timer.

When my oldest was an infant learning to talk, she had the you/me confusion. I always thought that’s where the joke came from.


Who knows? I'm not exactly breaking new ground here, but so much of comedy is building up your expectations and then frustrating those expectations. That joke just does an absolutely brilliant job of doing it.

Oh it’s a brilliant joke.

I didn’t fully appreciate it til I had to explain to a 1yr old why you means me and me means you.

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Peter Clavin wrote:
Because you are stupid, maybe read some books educate yourself.
Nardi wrote:
We walk, talk, and won't shit our pants


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2023 8:27 am 
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"Uh excuse me you didn't answer me; you just trailed off."


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2023 9:12 am 
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"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'"

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The crisis consists precisely in the fact that the old is dying and the new cannot be born; in this interregnum a great variety of morbid symptoms appear.


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