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 Post subject: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:07 pm 
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Homer: I'm going to follow them tonight and see where they go.

Marge: Oh, Homer, don't start stalking people again. It's so illegal. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?

Homer: Well, something did!

Marge: I don't want you stalking anyone tonight.

Homer: Oh, okay, have it your own way, Marge. I'll be back in a minute. I'm... going outside to... stalk... Lenny and Carl. (pause) D'oh!

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:10 pm 
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Homer: Hello, Mr. name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.

Peoria Matt: Ok, Mr. Burns. And what's your first name?

Homer: I don't know.

(cut)

Homer: Nice plan, Bart!


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:10 pm 
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Marge: why do you have so many bowling balls?
Homer: aw Marge I'm not gonna lie to you... So long!

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Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:13 pm 
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I'm tired of being a wannabe league bowler! I wanna be a league bowler!

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:15 pm 
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Class after class of ugly, UGLY children.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:16 pm 
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When pigs fly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2omx0uvl0WU


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:18 pm 
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The Simpsons would probably be a footnote without the Donna Dixon Rudolph line.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:21 pm 
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I need the biggest seed bell you have...no, that's too big.

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:24 pm 
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Image


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:26 pm 
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Scratch that. It's not a line.


Last edited by tommy on Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:26 pm 
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The best sight gag was Homer lighting up everyone, quitting, driving from the plant and then tossing a match back to light the bridge on fire.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:38 pm 
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Professor Frink: You've got to listen to me! Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok in an orgy of blood and kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving!

Scientist: How much time do we have professor?

Professor Frink: Well, according to my calculations the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours.

(Robotic Scratchy immediately activates and starts strangling the scientist)

Professor Frink: Oh, I forgot to, ah, carry the one...

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:40 pm 
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This is a thousand monkeys working at a thousand typewriters. Soon, they'll have written the greatest novel known to man! Let's see. It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times?!? You stupid monkey! Oh, shut up.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:41 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
The best sight gag was Homer lighting up everyone, quitting, driving from the plant and then tossing a match back to light the bridge on fire.


Image

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:41 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
The best sight gag was Homer lighting up everyone, quitting, driving from the plant and then tossing a match back to light the bridge on fire.


I should be resisting this, but I'm paralyzed with rage...and island rhythms.

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:43 pm 
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SpiralStairs wrote:
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
The best sight gag was Homer lighting up everyone, quitting, driving from the plant and then tossing a match back to light the bridge on fire.


I should be resisting this, but I'm paralyzed with rage...and island rhythms.

I didn't mean to take sides, I just got caught up in the rhythm.

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Molly Lambert wrote:
The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:45 pm 
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Dutch: Who are you, and how did you get in here?
Lt. Drebin: I'm a locksmith, and ... I'm a locksmith.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:55 pm 
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Dr. Kenneth Noisewater wrote:
The best sight gag was Homer lighting up everyone, quitting, driving from the plant and then tossing a match back to light the bridge on fire.

"So long, Stinktown!"


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 10:57 pm 
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"I predict that within ten years, computers will be twice as powerful, ten thousand times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings of Europe will own them!"


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:04 pm 
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Quote:
Bake him away, toys!


Quote:
C'mon, chief, it was just a prank. Would flatware make things right?

Um. What does it say on my badge? Cash bribes only. Let's go.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:10 pm 
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(Bart dials 911)

Automated Recording: Hello, and welcome to the Springfield Police Department Rescue Phone. If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one. To choose from a list of felonies, press two. If you are being murdered or calling from a rotary phone please stay on the line...

(Frustrated, Bart mashes 5#96)

Automated Recording: You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one.

(Bart slams down the phone)

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:11 pm 
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- Hello, my name is Mr. Snrub. And I come from, uh, someplace far away! Yes, that'll do. Anyway, I say we invest that money back in the nuclear plant!

- I like the way Snrub thinks.

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The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:19 pm 
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What advantages does this motorcar have over, say, a train? Which I could also afford.

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:24 pm 
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You went into outer space?

Sure. You've never been?

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Kyrie Irving will never win anything as a team's alpha: check
T.rubisky is a bust: check
Ben Simmons is a liability: check
The Fields Cult is dumb: double check

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:24 pm 
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veganfan21 wrote:
You went into outer space?

Sure. You've never been?


Would you like to see my Grammy?

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Seacrest wrote:
The menstrual cycle changes among Hassidic Jewish women was something as well.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:41 pm 
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"Try to understand, Marge. There are two kinds of college students: jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time."


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 11:55 pm 
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This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:07 am 
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Just ask this scientician.

..uh.

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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 12:31 am 
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Ah, for the days when aviation was a gentleman's pursuit! Back before every Joe Sweatsock could wedge himself behind a lunch tray and jet off to Raleigh-Durham.

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The future holds the possibility to be great or terrible, and since it has not yet occurred it remains simultaneously both.


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 Post subject: Re: Best Simpons Lines
PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2019 3:03 am 
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I think women and seamen don't mix.


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