There's a new Final Destination movie coming out, called "Bloodlines". That damn generic subtitle. I'm surprised it wasn't "Reqiuem". or "Vs. Predator".

It made me think of ranking the 5 movies that are already out there. It started out as an interesting take on the horror genre, with death being the villain--and completely unseen. It quickly devolved into a complete off the rails sadistic wet dream of how you could imagine the craziest ways people could die gruesome deaths.

#5 - "The Final Destination" (2009) - This movie was in 3D and it's always odd to watch 3D movies on a regular standard TV because you see the stupid, completely obvious ways they try to shoehorn 3D moments into the movie. This is by far the dumbest one, despite it having the awesome Krista Allen in it. The biggest headscratcher is the opening. The "Final Destination" movies usually are based around shared experiences that we fear could go sideways. Traffic. Airplanes. Bridge collapses. This one starts at a NASCAR race. How many people are having nightmares of getting killed at a NASCAR race? And before you have to answer that--halfway through the movie, a second opening happens...a movie theater in a mall explodes in fire. Why wasn't *that* the opening? Why have 2 major disasters? This is a very slapdash film, like they had some money leftover in the New Line Cinema bank and decided to throw this together. I remember it being released in theaters briefly and had no interest in it at the time. It's the shortest one, I think, only like 80 minutes long. But it doesn't have any real fun bad moments to make it worthwhile. It's also sorely missing Tony Todd.

#4 - "Final Destination" (2000) - Yes, the one that started it all. It begun as an "X-Files" episode that never got green lit, and the writers Glen Morgan & James Wong got it to the big screen. It still has trails of "X-Files" feel to it because of the 2 FBI agents that investigate after the France airlplane explosion. I know this is the original, and it's the most serious and grim. That's what winds up making it weaker, though, as the sequels go on. The movies hit the right note when they didn't take themselves seriously and just set up hilarious over-the-top death sequences. The first kid to die is the main character's best friend who had just lost his brother in the explosion. How depressing. The best death involves a John Denver song. It's good, Devon Sawa is convincing, and Ali Larter is hot as hell. But in "Final Destination" world, it just isn't that much of a good tmie.

#3 - "Final Destination 5" (2011) - This is also in 3D I think, and it's extremely cheesy--it looks like it was budgeted by the SyFy network. But it has some great deaths, including a gymnast and a Lasix eye correction that goes awry. It's extremely bloody, but also seems to be pretty self aware. Especially because its coda is a great montage of all the great deaths through the series, set to AC/DC's "You Want Blood, You Got It". It also has a nice little twist to wrap it up.

#2 - "Final Destination 3" (2006) - I didn't think this would be that good, but it's held together because of Mary Elizabeth Winstead. Also, I have had a few nightmares involving dying on a roller coaster. This one is loaded with quality kills, especially probably the most epic, involving a tanning booth. It is the first one that comes off as self-aware and it's also probably the pitch perfect tonewise.

#1 - "Final Destination 2" (2003) - The heroine character is extremely well portrayed here by AJ Cook, who I was more drawn to than Ali Larter (who reprises her role from the 1st one). This one begins so crazy, with the biggest traffic catastrophe ever, but the kills are also ridiculous and jaw dropping. A dentist office visit...you will never want to go back. This one has just enough seriousness but also begins the trend of more a dark comedy and it's perfectly executed. It's the one I've watched the most.

The whole series gets a out of from me. It's decadent fun, and after watching any of them, you'll be paying a whole lot of attention to things happening around you intently. Hoping to avoid your own final destination moment.

I don't watch horror movies, I can't handle them. I see clips of these movies periodically and I think they are great. Sort of horrifying but cheesy and a little funny. Then in real life I drive over a bridge or think about lasik or tanning beds and I'm like ahhhhh no! Seems like a good little franchise especially in contrast to what I've seen or read of the Saw franchise.

I wouldn't classify this is a Horror movie, more suspense. I only saw the first one...I think it could have been better, but i liked it enough.

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