http://www.chicagotribune.com/entertainment/chi-0715-steve-dBYLINE: Steve Dahl
We have been plunged headlong into the summer TV doldrums. No summer replacement show has held my attention since Patti Blagojevich left "I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here!" The TV networks count on us to take advantage of our great summertime weather and switch off our TV sets. One problem: This is the worst summer ever! The weather around here has had more mood swings than Perez Hilton on a red carpet.
I have found the silver lining in all of these clouds. It's called the personal TV marathon.
One rainy day this summer, I ended up watching an episode of HBO's "True Blood." It sucked me in (intended), but I needed more. Long story short: I locked myself in my room like a vampire and watched all 11 episodes from the first season. I was finally busted for spending too much quality sun time indoors. My wife wanted me out of the house. I told her to get out of the house instead. I'm a vampire! Muttering something about protecting myself from overexposure to the sun and melanomas, I stumbled out into the sunshine.
I cranked through the first 11 "True Blood" episodes in three days, in spite of the irritatingly good weather and the constant interruptions of a vampire-hating wife. I'm now in sync with all of the happenings in and around Bon Temps, La. In fact, I'm so into it I'm thinking about moving there and getting "made" so I can watch TV all night long, and maybe catch a little daytime TV in my coffin. I'm not sure if a vampire can even watch TV in his or her coffin, but it seems as if it would be relaxing.
Hits and Misses: TV's movie reboots Photos Vampires do play video games indoors at night. Vampire Bill was playing Wii Golf and shot a very low score at Pebble Beach. When Bill and another vamp were bragging about their scores at various video golf courses, I was actually inspired (on my own) to go outside. I felt guilty that Bill could never play golf during the day, so I hit the links. There is a golf course with night golfing by me that would be a good place for vampires to golf. They should have wooden flagsticks for the humans to defend themselves, though.
Last week, I conducted an "Entourage" marathon for myself. All of Season 5, which my family had watched without me. Thanks to some unusually inclement weather, I managed to get through the whole season prior to Sunday's Season 6 premier. Timing is everything. That and the ability to isolate oneself from all human contact (family or otherwise) for the sake of a TV show. Hey, they brought it on themselves.
Next, I think I'll watch this past season of "24." I was knocked out of the habit of watching the show after the writers strike in 2008 caused the show to miss a whole season. As you can tell from the title, "24" is best marathoned while the family is out of town.
Maybe I'll check myself into the hospital for "exhaustion," like Jerry Lee Lewis and Elvis used to do. I need 19.2 hours to pull it off.
If you hate our summer weather and your summer TV choices, book yourself a marathon. But remember, it does come with some risk. If you are watching a series finale, it might take several days to recover from the sense of loss. You also run the risk of alienating friends and family by becoming a virtual video shut-in.
Worst of all, there's the snacks. It's like a season's worth of eating somehow is linked with a season's worth of watching. I sure do like watching TV.
Read more from Steve Dahl at dahl.com.
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