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 Post subject: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 6:27 pm 
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I was surprised by this movie. Sony tried to cover it up, but this was directed and co-written by M. Night Shyamalan and this is his best directed feature since "Unbreakable".

While I don't normally like Jaden Smith, his character works here...after a bit of a clunky start. In fact, the whole first 10-15 minutes of this film are dubious.

Then, Will and his son make it to earth and the mission is very simple. They've crash landed, and need to locate a beacon on the other side of the planet (in the tail section of the ship) to get rescued.

I sometimes call this the "video game plot". It's a very simple formula, but what makes it work is that there is the father/son relationship at work and there's a lot about guilt, fear, and even forgiveness that's dealt with fairly well. It doesn't go too deep but the film also doesn't try to be more than what it is.

Clocking in at about 100 minutes, it's a pretty good ride. Despite his inability to write good screenplays (by himself anyway), Shyamalan has always been a master behind the camera. This film looks good, and again, once it gets going, the pace is effective.

I think this movie may slip through the cracks but it is worth a viewing. I was entertained.

Word of warning: you're going to have to look past the really bad fictional accents here. I have no idea what they're supposed to be but they are bad. And Jaden Smith sounds ridiculous sometimes.

:D :D :D out of :D :D :D :D


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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 6:52 pm 
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It looks fucking god fucking awful and has been getting absolutely apocalyptic reviews from all corners.

Keep your drug induced review out of here, you may actually convince some poor soul to waste his hard earned ducats on this steaming pile of shit. Buying bleach and shooting it into your dick would be a better way to spend your money and time.

Holy fucking shit.


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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 6:55 pm 
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SomeGuy wrote:

Keep your drug induced review out of here

:lol: :lol: :lol: All right, all right, all right.

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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:02 pm 
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someguy sometimes gets possessed by the 4chan spirits and can't help but be irrationally angry and unfortunately unfunny at the same time.


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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:05 pm 
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W_Z wrote:
someguy sometimes gets possessed by the 4chan spirits and can't help but be irrationally angry and unfortunately unfunny at the same time.



Wasn't trying to be funny.

I'm still hoping your shit review was a misguided attempt at humor.


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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:08 pm 
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I shouldn't say shit, your reviews are always well written and to the point.

I Just won't stand for this particular review even if it's well written.


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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:09 pm 
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I just find it hard to believe Jaden Smith can get a good review. He is friends with Bieber and thus everything he touches must be complete suck. No one with a shred of credibility or talent would hang with the biebs these days.

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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:12 pm 
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W_Z wrote:
someguy sometimes gets possessed by the 4chan spirits and can't help but be irrationally angry and unfortunately unfunny at the same time.


I like your reviews usually but every review I have seen so far has shitted on this movie.

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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:18 pm 
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I just feel betrayed.


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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 7:25 pm 
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i don't really care what other critics have said about it. critics praised "the social network" and i thought it was a total waste of film and talent. critics praised "lincoln" and that was atrociously simple-minded and insultingly superficial.

and why all the sudden do you care what critics say? because you want to hate the film and disregard it too?

i went in with low, low expectations, especially with my dislike of jaden smith and no confidence that shyamalan could make a good film again.

i enjoyed the movie. maybe you won't.

i think critics wanted to hate it. before the film even started, maybe they wanted to shit on it because it'd be easy to do. but i liked the film. fuck it.


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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:35 pm 
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That's telling of how far his career has sunk that in the many commercials I have seen for the movie I cannot remember it being pimped as an M. Night film.

The Smith family can chew on a necrotic perineum. They're a filthy fuckstain on American culture.

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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 9:37 pm 
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After all the terrible reviews, I think this is gonna wait for redbox.

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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Mon Jun 03, 2013 9:56 am 
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This movie sucks worse than a WZ movie review...and I have seen neither

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 Post subject: Re: After Earth
PostPosted: Mon Jun 03, 2013 10:10 am 
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good dolphin wrote:
This movie sucks worse than a WZ movie review...and I have seen neither

:lol: :lol: :lol:

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