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 Post subject: The Bag Man
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 12:37 am 
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This was a bad piece of shit.

My wife wanted to have a movie after the Hawks so she's like oh its got John Cusack and De Niro and what not but mercy. I don't think this was supposed to be a comedy but it was like a comedy that wasn't funny. Or maybe it was a drama but really bad drama.

It was a classic McGuffin heist flick. Or a terrible ripoff of one.

De Niro was his usual washed up self.

Crispin Glover was terrible as a slightly psycho desk clerk. I think he was going for spooky but he came off more like a hippie version of Lloyd Christmas.

They pushed the "what's in the bag?? What could it be?? It's such a mystery! Aren't you just dying to know what's in the bag?" Angle a little too much for me. We get it. We got it from the first scene. I swear no less than 20 times in this shit fest did someone ask "did you look in that bag?".

A couple torture scene didn't save this. One ridiculous guys fighting for the wheel of the speeding car scene. One personal call from the sociopathic cops wife "I don't like chunky monkey dear"...

The dialog was childish. Like an actual child wrote this.
And no one is who they appear to be! Weird!

Oh. Easily the cheesiest thing I've seen in a movie in years. Power is out. Rooms dark. Cusack lights a match to re end something. When he's done we get a closeup of him looking up, menacingly into the camera... and dramatically blows out the match. I'm guessing this was supposed to be the final trailer shot. Pitiful.

You know why everyone wants that bag? Why they're all willing to kill for that bag? Because of what's in it.
What's it the bag? You'd kill for what's in that bag too. Its the two fucking hours you wasted watching this shit.

But you'll never get it.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bag Man
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 7:54 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bag Man
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 8:10 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 04, 2010 9:09 am
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Darkside wrote:
This was a bad piece of shit.

My wife wanted to have a movie after the Hawks so she's like oh its got John Cusack and De Niro and what not but mercy. I don't think this was supposed to be a comedy but it was like a comedy that wasn't funny. Or maybe it was a drama but really bad drama.


It was a classic McGuffin heist flick. Or a terrible ripoff of one.

De Niro was his usual washed up self.

Crispin Glover was terrible as a slightly psycho desk clerk. I think he was going for spooky but he came off more like a hippie version of Lloyd Christmas.

They pushed the "what's in the bag?? What could it be?? It's such a mystery! Aren't you just dying to know what's in the bag?" Angle a little too much for me. We get it. We got it from the first scene. I swear no less than 20 times in this shit fest did someone ask "did you look in that bag?".

A couple torture scene didn't save this. One ridiculous guys fighting for the wheel of the speeding car scene. One personal call from the sociopathic cops wife "I don't like chunky monkey dear"...

The dialog was childish. Like an actual child wrote this.
And no one is who they appear to be! Weird!

Oh. Easily the cheesiest thing I've seen in a movie in years. Power is out. Rooms dark. Cusack lights a match to re end something. When he's done we get a closeup of him looking up, menacingly into the camera... and dramatically blows out the match. I'm guessing this was supposed to be the final trailer shot. Pitiful.

You know why everyone wants that bag? Why they're all willing to kill for that bag? Because of what's in it.
What's it the bag? You'd kill for what's in that bag too. Its the two fucking hours you wasted watching this shit.

But you'll never get it.


Straight to DVD schlock, just like Brick Mansions.

You need to send your wife to the Time Out Room or Your Negative Zone.


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 Post subject: Re: The Bag Man
PostPosted: Sun Mar 22, 2015 9:28 pm 
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