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Monday Night Football
It’s going to be special. What a team of Hall of Fame Broadcasters we have for this year’s new version of Monday Night Football on the BooYah Network.
Leading the team is announcer Mike Tirico, who was last seen groping a female ESPN assistant and avoiding sexual harassment charges and a pink slip from his employer. After seeing what ESPN and other Disney companies have done to those accused of harrassment on the job, one wonders how Tirico has skated by without consequence. Does he have unflattering pictures of somebody in power at ESPN? What a model citizen he is to lead a national prime time broadcast. The Disney suits must be proud. Too bad he barely knows pro football, having spent the last several years doing college ball. Anyone care to guess an over/under on University of Michigan references that this Ann Arbor resident will make in each game?
Backing up Tirico is the never-at-a-loss-for-words Joe Theisman, whose claim to fame still remains suffering the single most dramatic injury in the 30 year history of Monday Night Football. Theisman may be okay in small doses, but in this booth he will be competing with another mouthy one sitting in the third seat. So we can expect to get a healthy competition for air time and thus, a full dose of Theisman.
Adding his special brand of know nothingness is the third man in the (three is a crowd) booth, Tony Kornheiser. When last seen, TK was failing at his latest version of a radio show. He is perhaps the only person who has ever held a prime time announcing gig who readily admits he hardly cares much about it. In a recent column in the Washington Post, he admits he has never watched an entire Monday Night Football game in 30 years because he was always asleep. He also admits that he hardly knows the coaches, doesn’t know many of the players, hasn’t prepared at all and really doesn’t care. He thinks his job is to "be himself", which I guess means being his usual unprepared, uninformed self. To paraphrase Dean Wormer, “being asleep and unprepared is no way to do a job, son.”
To make matters worse, we get not one but TWO CHICKS WOW on the sidelines. Michelle Tafoya is a competent sports broadcasting pro who can do perfunctory interviews and provide the necessary quotient of hardly relevant details. If we must have a chick on the sidelines, then Tafoya is probably as competent as they are gonna get. She is certainly better than the single digit IQ Lisa Guerrero, who used to have this gig. However, we also are going to get the perky one, Suzy Kolber, sashaying on the sidelines. What’s the over-under on another ex-jock propositioning Suzy on the sidelines? I can’t wait for the inevitable 49-7 laugher and hear Suzy tell us “it’s a great game guys and it’s going to the wire.”
This broadcasting team has LOSER written all over it. I’m not sure who exactly the Boo-Yah network is targeting with this broadcasting team, ’but I know I sure as hell am not in the target demo. I’ll watch the games, but with the sound off.
Monday Night Football radio HELLO!!!!!!!!
Last edited by Coast2Coast on Tue Aug 08, 2006 3:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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