Our hotel smelled like dead hooker vagina (before you ask I had gotten a detailed description from beardown)

Well, I guess property values in Schaumburg because the greatness that is Elmhurst Steve was at the Dunkin Donuts on Schaumburg and Plum Grove this morning. I'm glad I wasn't in the building at the same time. It was bad enough that I saw his truck in the parking lot.

You would think that a self proclaimed world class athletes would avoid donuts.

It's more fun to be a victim

There will never be an effective vaccine. I'll never get one anyway.

Little Chocolate Donuts

Written by: Al Franken & Tom Davis

Announcer.....Marv Albert
.....John Belushi
Other Runners.....Tom Davis, Neil Levy


[ open on John Belushi, Decathalon Champion, preparing to do the Olympic high jump on a sports field ]

Announcer: John Belushi is on his way to a gold medal in the Decathlon! They're setting the bar at seven feet - here's his approach.

[ John Belushi runs toward the bar. Quick cut to John jumping over the top of the bar. Quick cut to John landing on the grass. ]

Announcer: He got it! Belushi's won the gold, now he's going for the world's record!

[ cut to John Belushi running a long-distance sprint against other runners; he wins the race, and his fans crowd around him ]

[ cut to John seated like Bruce Jenner at his breakfast nook ]

John Belushi: [ as he holds a lit cigarette ] I logged a lot of miles training for that day. And I downed a lot of doughnuts. Little Chocolate Donuts. They taste good, and they've got the sugar I need to get me going in the morning. That's why Little Chocolate Donuts have been on my training table since I was a kid.

[ cut to John Belushi going for the gold in the pole vault ]

Announcer: Little Chocolate Donuts. The donuts of champions.

[ dissolve to audience wide shot, zoom in on applauding woman with SUPER: "One Jump Behind Us" ]

[ after repeat on 04/08/78, dissolve to audience wide shot, zoom in on woman with SUPER: "Peaking" ]

[ fade ]