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Hello stupids! It's the weekend, and it's time to vote for some douchebags. Isn't that special?
Last week, we elected Karl Malone as our Week 2 winner. He made a bunch of kids he doesn't do shit for, and you decided that makes him the week's biggest Douchebag. Way to be, Fanatics. Don't stand for that weird shit.
This week we've got Savages, ball hawks, guards, remote fans, girlfriends and killers, so check them out and vote!
Michael Savage: Our new mult Linderman Edgewater nominated batshit crazy right wing radio dick jockey (yeah that's right). He blames Obama, he thinks global warming is good, and he wrote a book about his dog. These things are all quite normal, and socially acceptable, but this guy had the nerve to fuck with NPR. Oh, and he knows where muslims are stockpiling their weapons. Maybe he can head to a mosque and get himself fitted for a suicide vest.
Zack Hample: FavreFan nominated him but never really, explained why, so I'll just guess. FavreFan was born a poor, white man in Mississippi in 1990, and is a victim of a disease called hypogonadotropic hypogonadism and has exceptionally bad swamp ass in the summer. Upon joining the Army, he was told that the Navy would probably be a better choice for him due to his lazy eye and his exceptional dandruff. When his tour was up, he moved to Chicago where he specialized in front runner fandom by picking that burrito Brett Favre and the Chicago Bulls. When Favre was sending pictures of his penis and crocs to various people, FavreFan was not amongst them, triggering a lifelong hatred of anyone named Zack. Oh, and Zac. And Zach. As such, he nominated this guy.
Binny's Security Guard: Nominated by Sabrmetric denier JORR, this Binny's guard was ready for WWIII and probably just praying someone would steal one of those little mini bottles of that Barefoot Wine shit that tastes like grape nightmare and gives you and instant migraine while causing severe gastrointestional distress and pain and gas. Now I know it's really important to be willing to kill people to protect overpriced scotch, but is it douchebaggy to be on the job in security dressed in full fatigues and looking like you cannot wait to kill someone (kind of like me at Lakemoorfest)?
Yankee fans from Morton Grove and Schaumburg: Once again another nomination from our own baseball historian and misunderstander JORR, who believes that you should never root for nor become a fan of a team that you're not particularly geographically close to. Now we here at the DBOTW home office are not sure what exactly the maximum distance is you're allowed to have from the team that you root for, or if it's some kind of state thing, or regional or whatever but apparently if you're from Illinois, rooting for the Yankees is exactly the same thing as having a toothbrush moustache and dancing down Devon Ave Sieg Heiling like a drunken Julie Andrews hopped on on street Molly. Is he right?
The Shooting Victims Girlfriend: Chronic masturbator and kidnapper beardown nominated the girlfriend of Philando Castile for recording the aftermath of the shooting that ultimately sparked a shit ton of violence. Beardown figures that as an expert in the field of women in traumatic situations that she should have tended to her dying boyfriend rather than document the murder that happened in front of her seconds prior. Hitting record on that phone may be the right thing to do if it stops the violence, or it might be the wrong thing to do if it sparks more violence, but is it the douchbag thing to do?
People who kill others: Frank Coztansa goes out on a limb and nominated murderers. I know right? He's way out there. Frank has a point though, I mean killing people is bad, unless someone of higher rank tells you to do it. Then... well then it's just fine. So, even though Frank went with a very unpopular opinion, we can't ignore his suggestion that people who murder others are douchebags. Do you agree?
Well folks, there are the week 3 nominees. We at the Douchebag of the Week Home Office hope that you vote early, often, and for the biggest douchebag that you see today.
_________________ "Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014 bigfan wrote: Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.
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