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Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the weekend, and it's time to vote for some douchebags.
Last week we crowned Ryan Dempster as our Week 4 champion. Dempster has been a royal shitbag since, well, forever I suppose, but notably his last couple seasons with the Cubs and since. I'd also like to douchebag the moondick that told this fucker he's funny, since he's at least partially responsible for Dempster's ridiculous impersonation of Harry Caray. That bastard out to be shot into space. Anyway, we're done with this dickmouth until he comes up for the DBOTW quarterfinal in about 9 weeks or so, where he will go against some stiff competition... guys like Karl Malone and Bigfan and probably eventually that ass clown leash.
So, without further delay, here are this weeks nominees:
Marky Mark but not the rest of the Funky Bunch: Boilermaker Rick nominated legendary Boston Turdburger Mark Whalberg for lying about getting a complaint call from Roger Goddell about some stupid show or movie he's in. Whalberg is just terrible in everything I've ever seen him in, he single-handedly ruined the shit out of "The Italian Job" and spent something like 45 seconds staring at his prosthetic penis in Boogie Nights. Rumors that he's blinded someone abound but really, I understand the urge to gouge one's own eyes out with a melon baller if it meant never having to see this self important bastard again. Anyway, if lying about getting a bitchy call from the Commish is douchebaggy, vote here.
The Media: The worst poster in the history of this message board, leashyourkids, took a moment off from assfucking livestock while murdering hobos to nominate the ubiquitous "Media" for their treatment of the speech that Melania Trump ugied from Michelle Obama. This thread was also written to be a rolling thread, something that only a twat of the highest order does anyway as a good thread doesn't need to be declared a rolling thread, it just becomes one, but nope that didn't stop leash from being the shitmuffin he is at any and every opportunity. Someone needs to tie a Glad Bag over this guy's head some day, you know, like a science experiment... to see if that scent lock technology really works. Weird ass bastard.
The win loss argument: You know how every year when your family gets together you hear the same family argument each and every time and people just start screaming at each other and getting drunk, calling each other names, and throwing gherkins or paring knives and it just keeps going and getting louder until the cops show up and oh guess what, Uncle Rheinie is getting arrested again and you're all going thru your wallets to see if we can get the $1000 bail together without having to wait until the banks open the next business day and you're saying to yourself "Thank GOD Christmas only happens once a year"? Well, that's essentially what the win loss argument is but it happens every single day in multiple threads and Darkside can only take so much. And really, it's not much of an argument because JORR gets put on blast and no one really agrees with him. Anyway, if you're sick of the conversation go ahead and vote here.
David Spada: Have you ever heard those stories about some guy getting all juiced up and running over someone's baby on a side street because his drunk ass was doing 80 and couldn't see straight after his 21st beer, then you find out he's been arrested for DUI 8 times and you say, "How does this fur-fucker have a LICENSE?"? Well, it's probably because of this kitty here, David Spada. He was actually nominated by Darkside for his relentless spamming of the board selling his terrible books and his murderous interviews while not contributing a single thing to this site. David's whiny behavior over the last several years started out cute when he was upset with WSCR and got weird when we found out he like wasn't paying his bill and get straight up ridiculous when he tweets the same stupid shit to like 500 people for no reason whatsoever. If Karma really existed and was the cold hearted bitch she's reputed to be, he'll get hit by a drunken mack truck driver while going across the street for AA batteries or something.
The Heat: My God! The Heat! Once again we hear from leashyourkids, who took a break from his gas station glory hole job to nominate the hot weather we've been having this week, and specifically yesterday. Now, I do know it was hot out (trust me) but I did hear that the Citgo got a new AC so if he was working that night at least it was cooler. But maybe he does have a point. It was really uncomfortable, and there is something really gross about the sticky, hot, humid conditions we were exposed to all weekend. You eventually can get used to it, but by the time that happens it's just in time for some ungodly polar vortex that makes winter even more miserable. Fuck you heat.
Bernie Sanders: Nas has nominated Bernie, because when Bernie Sanders was running, he wanted to destroy the machine. And now that he has lost in epic fashion, he fully endorses the machine. Welcome my son. Welcome. To the machine. Bernie isn't much different from any other politician really, he plays to his crowd, tells them what they want to hear, and then when convenient, walk it back and pretend it never happened. But this isn't mere politics. He endorsed Hillary. HILLARY. I mean, god damn man. Who does that besides angry lesbians and fart sniffers and leashyourkids? Is this nomination for the 180 or for the endorsement? It's a mystery. We'll probably never know. But, Bernie probably is a douchebag. I've see the people who have his bumper stickers on their Prius. If you agree with Nas, vote here.
Well, guys, these are your nominees this week. Please do your civic duty and vote! We'll have a whole new crop of douchebags to pick on and choose from.
Thank you for your continued support!
And fuck you leash.
_________________ "Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014 bigfan wrote: Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.
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