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Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy messages
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Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy messages
Ladies and Gentlemen, it's (past) the weekend and it's time to vote for some Douchebags!

Although David Spada did indeed try to redeem himself in the good fight against Social Justice Warrior and weird, evil sorceress Julie DiCaro, he still won last week's poll. Given his attempt at being a human being for ever the briefest of moments, he probably will be near the bottom of the leaderboard during the 1st quarterfinal. Congratulations, David. You've earned the douchebag of the week, and you did it with a broken arm you got bullying a woman in a softball game. Word.

This week we've got:

Darkside: Your old pal Darko was nominated by perpetual curmudgeon Jorr Orr Road Rod because Darkside had the nerve to point out the painfully obvious truth that no one ever really agrees with him. Granted, Darko is a bit of an angry lush, gleefully arrogant and quite a ladies man, but did he deserve a nomination for quite literally being right? I mean even sheepfucker leashyourkids knows that JORR is a bizarre old bastard with more hair than good ideas. Now, JORR will pop into and out of threads spouting more bizarre nonsense than Dr. Who, and he really hates when folks tell him he's a weird old bastard, but did he deserve the treatment Darko gave him? Your vote here will tell the tale.

Jason Heyward: spmack nominated Heyward because his bat is weaker than a Bernstein claim of athleticism, and it's killing rallies faster than violence and scuffles at a Trump gathering in Chicago. Heyward was supposed to be good, and in the field he has been but behind the plate he's been limper than leashyourkids at a strip club. Dude is cashing big checks to hit and to catch the ball, but can't really hit, so the question I pose you, fellow fanatics, is does this make him a douchebag or just another in a long line of bad Cubs free agent signings? You vote will help us decide.

Julian Assange: Supposedly this weird fucker has the goods to put Hillary in the pokey for a long time, but is... not releasing the information? FavreFan nominated him for not releasing the data, or for hiding in an embassy, or for some reason, with FavreFan coherency isn't exactly his forte. Setting ovens on fire, bringing chronic masturbators into your home, and fucking 93 year old immigrants, now we're talking his forte. I mean dude watched this old lady take a nasty header into a deck and still molested her. Actually that didn't really happen, she tried to invite her in and I was standing there and I bailed man, just bailed (I think I said something like, "OK! Well, I'm outta here" and he was all mad at me for not... joining? Wingmanning? I'm not sure what I was supposed to do but this guy had a chance to get a little toothless skull and he passed it up, so what was I to do stand there and watch this happen or get the fuck out in case the weirdo said yeah I'll come in for a.... nightcap. I bet leash would have done it if it were a drunken, concussed farm animal). Anyway, if Julian Assange is a douchebag for not releasing the Hillary emails, vote here!

Super Bitch Message From Norton: Darkside got a veiled threat in popup virus like form from Norton because they're pretty pissed at him for not paying 80 dollars to slow down his computer and fuck up his entire operating system while providing less than stellar protection against viruses that they themselves probably are creating in order to make themselves look good. Not once did I ever have a virus actually cleaned off this laptop, and I don't use it to cruise porn anymore, so what do I need those weird fuckers for anyhow? Screw em! Fucking savages and they stupid $80/year fees. Clown!

Morgan Freeman: Serial cat fucker leashyourkids nominated the man with the silkiest black voice since Marvin Gaye for this week's Douchebag of the Week because he lied about Hillary. He's cool with the whole rape and marrying his granddaughter or whatever this weird bastard did but lying about Hillary, wooo baby that's the thing that pissed off leash. Look, Freeman is like that sweet, kind, wonderful, rapey, loving, gentle grandfather we wish we all had, but does lying about Hillary make him a douchebag? VOTE!


Well, folks, these are this week's nominees. Please slow down, drink an alcoholic beverage, or if your're leash, some bleach, and vote for this week's biggest douchebag. Next week we'll crown the week 6 douchebag! I can't wait. It's going to be more awesome than leashyourkids falling headfirst into a pool of his own bile infused vomit.
Author:  leashyourkids [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
I voted for Norton message because I'd like to see what douchebag uses for an avatar.
Author:  Seacrest [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
I saw Darkside and didn't need to go any further.
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Seacrest wrote:
I saw Darkside and didn't need to go any further.

Of course you didn't. Why would one need to look further when they see something that they've got in their mind? I mean, critical thinking usually evades millennials and Christians... so...
Author:  FavreFan [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
I saw Darkside and didn't need to go any further.

Of course you didn't. Why would one need to look further when they see something that they've got in their mind? I mean, critical thinking usually evades millennials and Christians... so...

According to Rick's Law of What Is A Millenial, you're a fuckin' millenial too ya shitbird.
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
FavreFan wrote:
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
I saw Darkside and didn't need to go any further.

Of course you didn't. Why would one need to look further when they see something that they've got in their mind? I mean, critical thinking usually evades millennials and Christians... so...

According to Rick's Law of What Is A Millenial, you're a fuckin' millenial too ya shitbird.

The hell I am. I'm nearly 40. I'M A MAN!
Author:  FavreFan [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Darkside wrote:
FavreFan wrote:
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
I saw Darkside and didn't need to go any further.

Of course you didn't. Why would one need to look further when they see something that they've got in their mind? I mean, critical thinking usually evades millennials and Christians... so...

According to Rick's Law of What Is A Millenial, you're a fuckin' millenial too ya shitbird.

The hell I am. I'm nearly 40. I'M A MAN!

Rick used math to figure this out. Your beef is with him. I'm just the messenger.
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
FavreFan wrote:
Rick used math to figure this out. Your beef is with him. I'm just the messenger.

You know, your girlfriend Annie was a millennial... from 1900.
Author:  Seacrest [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Darkside wrote:
FavreFan wrote:
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
I saw Darkside and didn't need to go any further.

Of course you didn't. Why would one need to look further when they see something that they've got in their mind? I mean, critical thinking usually evades millennials and Christians... so...

According to Rick's Law of What Is A Millenial, you're a fuckin' millenial too ya shitbird.

I'M A MAN!


The world is going to need more than your word on this.
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Seacrest wrote:
The world is going to need more than your word on this.

:lol:
Seek Rest... you weird old fucker. You still mad that I wouldn't engage in industrial espionage for ya?
Author:  Seacrest [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
The world is going to need more than your word on this.

:lol:
Seek Rest... you weird old fucker. You still mad that I wouldn't engage in industrial espionage for ya?


Industrial espionage...WTF are you talking about. :lol:
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Seacrest wrote:
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
The world is going to need more than your word on this.

:lol:
Seek Rest... you weird old fucker. You still mad that I wouldn't engage in industrial espionage for ya?


Industrial espionage...WTF are you talking about. :lol:

Don't be coy. You know. You're cute.
Author:  Seacrest [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
The world is going to need more than your word on this.

:lol:
Seek Rest... you weird old fucker. You still mad that I wouldn't engage in industrial espionage for ya?


Industrial espionage...WTF are you talking about. :lol:

Don't be coy. You know. You're cute.


I'm sure I didn't need your help to accidentally hack into the voicemail of Jim McMahon's attorney.
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Seacrest wrote:

I'm sure I didn't need your help to accidentally hack into the voicemail of Jim McMahon's attorney.

:shock:
Uh...
Author:  Seacrest [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
SOL has run out.
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Seacrest wrote:
SOL has run out.

What now?
Author:  Peoria Matt [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
I'm officially changing my vote from Nortons to Assange.
Author:  Seacrest [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
SOL has run out.

What now?



I sure as shit ain't telling that story here
Author:  Darkside [ Mon Aug 01, 2016 7:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Seacrest wrote:
Darkside wrote:
Seacrest wrote:
SOL has run out.

What now?



I sure as shit ain't telling that story here

Yeah dude, don't. Sounds... dangerous.
Author:  Frank Coztansa [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Kind of a weak field this week. Maybe we are the DBags for not nominating better, or should I say worse, people.
Author:  Douchebag [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Frank Coztansa wrote:
Kind of a weak field this week. Maybe we are the DBags for not nominating better, or should I say worse, people.

READS JUST FINE
Author:  leashyourkids [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Douchebag wrote:
Frank Coztansa wrote:
Kind of a weak field this week. Maybe we are the DBags for not nominating better, or should I say worse, people.

READS JUST FINE

:lol:

Great avatar.
Author:  Darkside [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Lol... Curious results thus far. My buddy Seacrest doing some work there.
More votes by far than in past weeks.
You gotta love a ballot stuffe . Hats off seacrest!
Author:  Nas [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 8:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Darkside wrote:
Lol... Curious results thus far. My buddy Seacrest doing some work there.
More votes by far than in past weeks.
You gotta love a ballot stuffe . Hats off seacrest!


:lol: :lol: Yeah I'm surprised by these results.
Author:  Brick [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
I voted for Darkside because of his White Sox obsession.
Author:  Darkside [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Boilermaker Rick wrote:
I voted for Darkside because of his White Sox obsession.

I love you brick.
Author:  jimmypasta [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 9:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
I'm not here to vote.I just wanted to compliment Darkside on his DBOTW thoughts that open each of these threads. Very funny stuff!
Author:  Seacrest [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Nas wrote:
Darkside wrote:
Lol... Curious results thus far. My buddy Seacrest doing some work there.
More votes by far than in past weeks.
You gotta love a ballot stuffe . Hats off seacrest!


:lol: :lol: Yeah I'm surprised by these results.


Neither of you are surprised.

One man, and one vote. I set trends here, others follow.
Author:  doug - evergreen park [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 1:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
Traditionalists or Silent Generation: Born 1945 and before. - Mostly Dead or about to die.
Baby Boomers: Born 1946 to 1964. Getting closer to dying, probably voting for Trump.
Generation X: Born 1965 to 1976. Running Shit.
Millennials or Gen Y: Born 1977 to 1995. Mostly o.k., until about 1983...then good fucking luck.
iGen, Gen Z or Centennials: Born 1996 and later. We're so fucked.
Author:  Darkside [ Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 6, now with more bitchy mess
I'm not a damn millennial. I was fucking 23 in 2000.
Millennials are these weird fuckers with horn rimmed glasses and fedora who use the word "random" incorrectly and with great frequency. They drive little cars with loud exhausts, think they're snowflakes and have no clue how to change a tire. Their first video game was on Playstation. Their parents pay their insurance. Millennials can't sing the big Mac song and think chuck Norris is just an old guy with a beard. They smoke clove cigarettes and would have loved Zima had it not been discontinued prior to their conception. They typically spell words without vowels because it's inconvenient to write out full words. Most have no idea what cursive is and never had to go to a card catalog to find a book. If you say "you have died of dysentery" to a millennial they don't understand what you're talking about. They've never heard a Daisy wheel printer fire off and it would probably scare them if they did. The karate kid is that evil spawn of will Smith.

They're weird.
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