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Allright, so it's (past) the weekend, and it's time to vote for some Douchebags.
You sons of bitches. Yeah, you. Now you've done it. You voted your sweet, kindly ol pal Douchebag of the Week last week. You sons of motherless goats. How could you? And why? Because I said that no one ever agrees with JORR. Well... NO ONE DOES, YA WACKY BASTARDS! You guys argue with him like Hatfields and McCoys and I'm the asshole? OK. Fine. Congratulations, Darkside, you've won a ticket to the 1st Quarterfinal, which, mind you all, is coming up in just 6 more weeks. Time flies when you're stabbing your old pal Darko in the back, don't it. I'm John Lackey (minus the pictures of your kids 1st communion in the bathroom), I have a long memory. Jerks.
Anyway, this week we've got a whole new batch of nominees to go over. And here they are:
Brent and Brianna Daley: Franky T nominated this power duo because they left their 2 year old rotten spawn alone while hunting Pokemons. When the police called this dope after finding the kid screaming on their front porch scared and alone, the jerk actually says "whatever". Seriously, these people's parents should be nominated for their lame millennial names. Frigging kids with their Frigging names and their weird Frigging video games. Whatever happened to normal names like Frank and Jim and Oliver and Reinhold? Good god. Bunch of frigging weirdos. Well, they couldn't choose their names but they did choose to be bad parents. Most of us either had or are bad parents, so the question to you, dear Fanatics, is "Does this make them douchebags?" You got to vote.
jim deshaies: The well named TurdFerguson nominated Cubs Color Man Jim Deshaies because he annoyingly calls sliders "slideballs" and "slidepiece" and stupid shit like that. I guess he's trying to be hip but he sounds like Mr. Reason coming off his old man shit softener pills and moaning into the toilet. Of course, I'll take Jim over Stone and Hawk any day. I mean, talk about the butthurt duo, man. One is butthurt because the Sox blow and one is butthurt because of his... nightlife? Anyway, Deshaies is pretty annoying but he's somewhat serviceable, but does this one proclivity make him a douchebag? Vote.
Ken Rosenthal: Rosenthal had recently admonished his followers for misunderstanding a year old tweet and retweeting it as if it were recent news. Told them it's a simple thing to check their dates and be more careful. Then he follows it up with this doozy and it cost him a nomination from Walt Williams Neck. He tweeted that Puig stormed off after getting the news that he's getting sent back to the minors or traded... but it turns out that wasn't exactly true. He wasn't there. He was told to stay home. So this weird fucker makes a big mistake hours after fucking with his followers, and just gives a little oopsie to cover it. Like that time that Leash was pinwheeling his cock at a kindergarten graduation and he was just like "Oopsie!" Sometimes that don't cut it. Look, we all make mistakes and forget to check sources and ruin the name of a good person from time to time, so does that make Rosenthal a douchebag?
On Your Left!!!!!!!: JORR loves riding bike. He rides it a lot. Every chance he gets, a nice juicy bike. But it annoys him that people scream "On your left" as they pass his old, slow ass while he's trying to concentrate on... riding that thing. He prefers to just zip past walkers without warning. Now, it's the opinion of the Douchebag of the Week Home Office that most bikers are generally ok, but those Lance Armstrong wanna be's in their goofy suits and their camelbacks riding on the street when there is a perfectly acceptable bike path. I saw one of these morons the other day riding literally in the right lane of Route 14 right near the Fox River Grove train station and he almost got hit by a couple motorists that weren't expecting a small, difficult to see object moving at a blistering 10MPH in their lane. I was rooting for a sleepy cross country truck driver to blast him all the way to Barrington on a fly. Sadly, it did not.
Benjamin Watson: I read this thread twice and I really am not too sure what Walt Williams Neck is even talking about so I'll just make something up. Walt once dated Watson, and before his innie was converted to an outie, Walt was a very fertile young lass. Once the lovechild was conceived, he went for the big scrape and flush. And this resulted in a very sensitive Walt. He never recovered. We got his surgery, changed his name and logged in here to scream at people and gif his way into some obscure form of coherency. So, he has had a personal grudge against Watson. And he's asking for your vote.
So there's this week's nominees. One of them will go up against the other winners in the 1st Quarter Semifinal in just a few short weeks. So choose, and choose wisely.
_________________ "Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014 bigfan wrote: Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.
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