DISCLAIMER: i'm in storytelling mode for this one, so pardon me whilst i realize that i should be watching the NFL lidlifter right now

so there's this one guy who works at my local CVS who seems like he might be some kind of cokehead or ADHD/adderall/something. i'm trying to think about how i should best describe the vibe i get off of him; he's usually ~2-3 days unshaven and has that kinda-menacing glare where he tilts his head down+foreward to peer out at you above the lenses of his glasses; honestly it looks like he's always on the edge. you know, some kind of aggro thing where it's like he's the incredible hulk and thus he has to always put in effort to keep his anger under wraps or something.... idk, i always got this weird vibe off of the dude and over the years whenever i went to CVS (meaning that walgreens didn't have what i needed) i'd always hope to avoid the guy, tho i never tried to or anything.

back in december 2014 my grandpa told me that his perma-swollen feet were now leaking (aka "weeping") water, and upon looking that up i saw that it could be a symptom of congenital heart failure. after wiping away some tears he told me that he wanted to soldier through my aunt-from-colorado's christmas visit and then we'd deal with hospitals or whatever, so in the interim he gave me a few bucks to head over to walgreens/CVS/etc and pick up some supplies to try and treat/wrap-up his feet for the next month.

one of the things i ended up getting @ walgreens was some "diabetic socks" that purported to be designed to deal with water/moisture, so i figured those would work on top of all the tape/bandages/etc that i got to try and compress/contain his feet. after getting a few pairs of those socks and other supplies at walgreens i decided to pop over to the CVS and see if they had anything else that might be able to help with grandpa's situation (because i'd rather have too much stuff than too little) so i headed over to CVS brandishing my WALGREENS(TM) plastic bag filled with WALGREENS socks and a cpl other things that all happened to be WALGREENS brand.

when i got to the aisle that all of the stuff i got at walgreens i noticed that they had some Dr. Scholl's brand diabetic socks that were $9.99 for 2/3 pairs as opposed to the ~$4.99 that the walgreens brand socks were. i was curious to see if those Dr. Scholl's socks were noticeably better than the walgreens socks i had just bought, so i reached into my bag and pulled up one of the pairs of diabetic socks and felt the material, then i dropped it back in the bag and proceeded to take one of the sets of dr scholl's socks off of the rack and started to feel that. it didn't seem too noticeably different but i was still thinking about buying a pair just to make sure.... but that's when the shit went down:

out of nowhere i hear I SAW YOU!!!! I SAW YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!! THAT'S IT GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE RIGHT NOW YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!! GET FUCK OUT OF HERE NOW!!! and before i can even realize what's going on i got that aforementioned perma-on-edge (cokehead?) dude all up in my face pointing and screaming at me loud enough to be all red in the face. i retort with a "what?" and he continues "I SAW YOU SHOPLIFT AND PUT THOSE SOCKS IN YOUR BAG SO THAT'S IT... COMEON... JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE NOW!!!!" and he starts reaching out towards me like if i don't begin doing what he says he's going to put his hands on me to start pulling me out of the store (or if he wasn't going to do it he at least wanted to imply that there was going to be immediate physical consequences for not doing what he said) -- so i'm just like "whoa dude hold on here get the manager or get someone because i didn't put anything in my bag i was merely trying to see if..." he cuts me off and continues "NO THAT'S IT GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE RIGHT NOW!!! NOW!!! DON'T JUST STAND THERE I CAUGHT YOU SHOPLIFTING AND I WANT YOU THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!!!"

(btw, when i told this story to a friend of mine who was into shoplifting and has done it a bunch of times and obviously gotten caught a bunch of times, they told me that this dude was trying to get me out of the store ASAP because once i step outside of the store with the stolen goods it officially becomes theft/shoplifting. otherwise even if you're inside the store and you stashed something inside your jacket and started walking to the exit, yeah they can fuck with you and kick you out and etc, but legally speaking you're not a criminal until you actually leave the store with stolen merchandise)

before i could respond to that dude the actual store manager had run over to see just what the fuck was going on. i calmly explained that i'm shopping for supplies and notably diabetic socks for my grandfather and his leaking feet, i had just bought 3 sets of diabetic socks at walgreens and i saw that [CVS] have dr scholls socks, so all i did was reach into my bag to pull up one of the pairs and feel the material b4 i dropped it back in the bag and reached over to see how the dr. scholls' socks felt. honestly i can see where this can easily be misconstrued and i apologize for any confusion, but your guy here is going absolutely mental. if you take a second and look in my WALGREENS bag you'll see a receipt for the socks and everything which, oh wow haha, everything in here is actually walgreens brand: check it out"

i proceeded to empty out the contents of my plastic bag on the floor and match up everything to the receipt and say that i'd be more than happy to empty out all of my pockets and i'll even consent to a body cavity search just because i want your guy here to know that i didn't steal anything, ok?" --- the manager was all kinds of apologetic and told his guy to go away and cool off (as he was literally red in the face and snarling and almost pacing up and back with body language screaming out "THIS GUY'S FULL OF SHIT!!!!" and then he personally rang me up and i think he even kicked in a 10-20% discount on whatever i bought, and he must have apologized to me 3-4 times b4 it was all said and done. if he was putting me on he did a masterful job cuz it was almost like this manager dude was aware that his one employee was a "special needs" or "on meds" type and he's dealt with this sort of thing before, cuz i got legit contrition and a vibe like "plz don't judge us based on him" -- of course i ended up doing just that.

so after that experience, go figure that i don't go to that CVS unless i REALLY have to, you know like i need skim milk for morning oatmeal+cereal and my walgreens is totally out. that's when and only when i'll go to that CVS for anything. but now whenever i go there, if this guy's working he'll drop whatever he's doing and start mean-mugging me as i walk in, and then whenever i go to get what i'm there to get he'll magically/coincidentally end up buzzing right behind me (seriously within a foot or 2 of me) and then setting up shop apx 5-10ft down the aisle from me as he uses a barcode scanner to scan random things within an arm's length of him. if i go to another aisle guess who ends up in that aisle shortly after i do? every time he ALWAYS makes it a point to whiz right behind me cuz this is totally some weird thing where it's not just like "every step you take every breath you make i'll be watching you" but he also clearly wants to establish that he's THIS CLOSE to jacking me every time he walks by me to start menacing me from 5-10ft down the aisle (he'll glare at me until i look up and then he'll focus on his barcode scanning, pretty much the opposite of his initial mean-mugging when i walk in)

my best guess is that the manager reprimanded him for completely melting down in the middle of the store and now he's got a grudge against me to where he doesn't JUST wanna catch me shoplifting.... but he wants me to feel threatened whenever i'm there.... like this is HIS FUCKING STORE AND I'M NOT WELCOME THERE SO EVERY TIME YOU COME HERE I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU KNOW THAT I'M LITERALLY INCHES AWAY FROM JACKING YOU MOTHERFUCKER. JUST TRY ME. OH PLEASE TRY ME!!! -- that's the vibe i get.

so what should i do about this guy? do i have any recourse?

yeah, "let it go and don't shop there" is the obvious answer.... i mean, even if this was just some consequence from one time where i was actually caught when i was attempting to steal something and now they're just casing me out cuz i'm a potential shoplifter-- yeah, i get that... but this is way more personal than that. this guy clearly wants me to feel threatened whenever i go there, so i figure i wanna somehow relay the message to CVS management/corporate that i don't shop at this store because one of their employees harbors a grudge against me that he doesn't even try to hide it when he flagrantly menaces me each time i come in to, example, grab a gallon of milk. honestly for all i know if i said the wrong thing to him he might snap on me and grab a boxcutter out of his pocket and slice my throat right there on the spot; he's always been noticeably perma-on-edge, and even tho i might not shop there i want to report this guy for the potential safety of other customers, you know? call it a hunch they don't teach this technique on CVS employee orientation videos.

do i have any recourse? or should i just be a right proper Caller Bob and the next time i have to go there and he's there behind the register when i walk in i'll stop and say "hey i need to go get some milk, but i want to make sure that you're ready because it's been brought to my attention that i need an escort whenever i shop here since i'm such a high-risk shoplifter, so can you please escort me to the dairy aisle so i can get my milk? thanks!" --- yeah, i reckon that might cause him to actually go for the boxcutter and end me right there on the spot.... but hey, like the dying sea world employees at the end of that one episode of south park: it was worth it.... it was funny.

[post ends with the picture of a dead killer whale on the moon -- "Si, it will fly" =]

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Call corporate and express your concerns. Tell them about the employee by name and insinuate you think he is on coke.

Or tell Julie DiCaro about it on twitter. Tell her you're 400lbs and she might turn her SJW brigade on CVS

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This. A firm, yet calm letter to somebody at corporate will get this guy straightened out.

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Good people drink good beer - Hunter S. Thompson

<º)))><

Waiting for the time when I can finally say
That this has all been wonderful, but now I'm on my way

so you buy a chainsaw yet or what. post pics of the aftermath. if you still have opposable thumbs

sorry about the initial TLDR furor, but yeah, everytime i go there and this guy is working he follows me around the damn store. and yeah i know this sort of "profiling" thing happens to balck people all the time, but this isn't technically a case of profiling as much as it is that this guy has a personal beef with me that he's quite keen on conveying to me every time i go there. on the surface he'll claim that i'm some kind of "high risk" person and that he's doing his due diligence, but really i think he's gotta know that i'm not a shoplifter; and even if i am i know that this guy is all over me whenever i walk in there so i'd have to be legit retarded to try to steal anything... so what's the point of making it this flagrantly obvious outside of 100% str8up intimidation?

so you guys think i should go back and get his name and then.... write a letter to corporate? try calling up some regional # that goes over the individual store? i'd have to do one more recon trip/mission to get his name, but it shouldn't be too hard considering that he's magically going to end up in any aisle that i'm in while i'm there. maybe i can play with my phone and walk around holding it in my hand while having it "covertly" record him while he's stalking me for evidence?

again, i know this is the kind of stuff that happens to balck ppl all throughout suburbia so there is a "cry me a river, sini" element here... but i contend that with this guy i know it's 100% personal so that's why i wanna exercise my right to reply to his "FUCK YOU!" with a "NO, FUCK YOU!" by hearkening hillary clinton and having "[this] super-predator [brought] to heel"

(btw in that link you gotta love how you see the actual clip but then immediately afterwards the pundit dude has to pop up and tell you what to think about it =)

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i dunno, maybe he's into you. next time he rings you up at the register ask him what time gets off work and if he wants to meet up at Applebee's for beers and bloomin onions after his shift.

This is easy. Next time you go, turn the tables. Bring a friend (in a sport coat) and proudly announce that he is your attorney. When you go to check out, have your "attorney" ask for his ID. He will be so thrown off that he will oblige. You are now in the driver's seat.

Have your attorney advise him that you have been scarred by previous visits to CVS and that, in order to process your transaction, your attorney will also need to see proof of his citizenship. A birth certificate will do.

After he produces all necessary documentation, have your attorney let him off with a warning but say that he'd better not see him around here again. He will thank you for your kindness. On the way out, take a shit in his car.

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yeah i appreciate the levity from both of you (hussra/leash) but pretty much i'm just asking for some legit clever ideas to get back at this guy for his "I SEE YOU" bullshit.

obviously i'm not "scarred" from this experience (despite playing that up in the original post) but i really would like to exercise the "New York City Dialectic" here ("Fuck me? Oh no buddy fuck YOU!") seeing as i figure this whole "thing" he has with me probably stemmed from his (store?) manager going "DUDE, YOU CAN'T GO RUNNING UP TO CUSTOMERS AND START SCREAMING 'GET OUT OF MY STORE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!' we have protocols that we're supposed to follow when we suspect shoplifting..." and thus nowadays it's his mission to fuck with me as much as he can since i quite possibly helped him bring down some scrutiny/admonishment upon himself.

in the end i know that the best course of action is to just keep on being a walgreens guy, it's just that whenever i gotta run to CVS for anything i don't wanna be subject to this dumbass' mind/games resulting from him being butthurt over the fact that he had a freaking mental-meltdown/episode from trying to brand me a shoplifter. now that he's made it personal i wouldn't mind fucking his shit up and quite possibly getting a strike on him towards getting fired.

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If his manager didn't do anything with him after his verbal outburst, then to me it is pretty much a certainty corporate won't do anything now, especially since it sounds like your current beef is with his body language and not anything specific he is saying or doing to you that is contrary to any policy they may have.

In life there are some injustices for which there is no remedy. I would just shop somewhere else.

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"I honestly don't see a good bet on the board here."

Now I wanna know what store. The only guy I can think of fitting that bill quit about 6 months ago.