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| Chris Berman https://mail.chicagofanatics.com/viewtopic.php?f=75&t=104868 |
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| Author: | sinicalypse [ Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Chris Berman |
(forgive me if i go little longform here but i'm sick of this fucker and this special celebrating him after the XFL 30 for 30 pushed me over the edge) seriously, FUCK OFF CHRIS BERMAN! dude's not even leaving ESPN (he's basically getting demoted from #1 NFL Anchor duties [and if you didnt notice they quietly removed from from NFL primetime like 5+ years ago) and yet we got some 1hr long special celebrating him like he's an indelible part of the fabric of contemporary sports culture? WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?! this whole thing is just designed to stroke his ego (among other things) in the wake of him getting demoted from their "flagship" NFL broadcasts... you know why? CUZ HE FUCKING SUCKS! HE'S ALWAYS SUCKED, BUT WE BECAME ACUTELY AWARE OF THIS ABOUT 10-15YRS AGO WHEN WE GOT SICK OF THE SAME SHIT HE'S BEEN DOING SINCE THE 80S/90S!!! i can't deny that in the 90s "the thing to do" on NFL sundays was to watch the [bears] games and then rush over to NFL primetime after the late games [if you didnt wanna watch 60 minutes] because you wanted to hear him do his berman-isms for the game/s you watched and you wanted to predict if you could guess which berman-isms got used when and it was the thing to do.... you know why? because it was the only game in town. there was no other sports network competition and there was especially no internet, so being the only game in town served "boomer well.... ...but then the new millennium came and he was still doing the tired shit you got sick of when you stopped being 8-14 years old, and then once the 2000s brought you more options for NFL coverage you eventually branched out and life went on. like i said earlier ESPN figured this back awhile back when they quietly removed berman from NFL primetime and started packaging up the same ol bullshit as "the blitz" segments in sportscenter.. and even that was just nostalgia... but for what? and when they champion the guy like "while chris [berman] crossed over to pop culture he remained the same guy behind the scenes" -- BULLSHIT! didn't he notoriously get on all his production staff to such an extent that some of them secretly taped him and leaked the videos on the internet (just like o'reilly and his "FUCK IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE!" stuff on hard copy, but less entertaining because it's chris berman) --- didnt he force himself on multiple young/er female production assistants? holy shit man, as we're deifying the guy in this special it's not just like "the emperor has no clothes" it's "why does this fat piece of shit think he's an emperor?" to say his schtick didn't age well is an understatement. idk about you but i actively sought to avoid him in baseball games cuz his BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK call [never changed up cuz "it's his brand"] is just so god-awful the home run derby would become unwatchable with all of his stupid bullshit. and i can guarantee that any endearing nostalgic memories you have of him are at least 20 years old because he hasnt done a single new thing since the 80s/90s.... and if you remember anything from the last 10-15 years it's because he never ever changed or did anything other that worked for him back when he had no competition and an audience who had yet to grow up and realized the dude was fucking awful. and now we're supposed to celebrate this asshole like he's indelible part of the fabric of sports entertainment? FUCK OFF! seriously my sports life only got better once it stopped having chris berman in it, and ESPN realized this years go too.... but i could only imagine how a sullen vain charlatan like himself would "throw his weight around" to try and desperately cling to as many gigs as he could thinking "man, maybe if i say HE COULD GO ALL THE WAY people will think back to happy memories of 1992 when they still had a somewhat-functional liver? yeah, then they'll keep on watching me in much the same way that people stop listening to music that's made after they turn 30-35.... they'll feel comfortable trapped in an infinite nostalgia loop for the rest of their lives MWAHAHAHAH!!!!" fuck off. this guy has pretty much always been a detestable piece of shit behind the scenes, and on-camera he was only good when you sucked as a person. there's some kind of graph you could make that shows how as you get older/wiser/cooler/better chris berman gets worse and worse until the point where you've reached the last 10 years: actively PTFBing when you see him on TV because seriously, this dude's just a fucking dumbass hack who hid his inherent lack of talent behind his "berman-isms" which now ESPN wants you to literally think are bigger/better/more-memorable than all the sports themselves.... cuz you know, it takes a special type of genius to come up with shit like "kurt what was that manwearing" --- sheeeeit anyways yeah sorry i let this post rip but fuck chris berman and especially anyone who calls him boomer, because if they do that they buy into his cult of personality which i believe i aptly described before with the whole "emperor has no clothes" bit! FUCK OFF! |
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| Author: | sinicalypse [ Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
oh and if you wanna know why this special pushed me over the edge, they have all these little vignettes/THANK-YOU-BOOMER messages from various athletes/coaches/celebrities/ESPN-staff, and the epitome of it all was keith fucking olbermann acting all emotional trying to say something profound about chris berman, and at the end of his bit look at this "essence of olbermann" smug look he gave the camera.... "this is the essence" like they used to say on thursdays at 5pm 
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| Author: | redskingreg [ Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Doug "Bats in the" Pelfrey. |
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| Author: | Jaw Breaker [ Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Rick "Junk" Mahler |
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:09 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Jake "daylight come and you gotta" Delhomme |
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| Author: | W_Z [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Mike "You're in good hands with" Alstott. Curtis "My Favorite" Martin. |
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
AJ "see me" Feely Jim "hey' Abbott Royce "a roni" Clayton (fuck you for being so bad on the Sox) Jody Davis "eyes" Ty "mother in" Law Robb "the flying" Nen |
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| Author: | Peoria Matt [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
One of your best posts, Sini. Berman is a blowhole who should have been gone years ago. |
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| Author: | Hawg Ass [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Maybe it's because I am older, but I have always liked him. He was an original, and a lot of have copied. |
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| Author: | Peoria Matt [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Hawg Ass wrote: Maybe it's because I am older, but I have always liked him. He was an original, and a lot of have copied. I remember when ESPN 1st started. Loved Berman back then but his time has come and gone. |
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| Author: | Hawg Ass [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Peoria Matt wrote: Hawg Ass wrote: Maybe it's because I am older, but I have always liked him. He was an original, and a lot of have copied. I remember when ESPN 1st started. Loved Berman back then but his time has come and gone. I don't disagree that it is probably time for him to move on from a full time basis, Lord knows I don't need to hear him call the home run derby anymore. Just remember when he was great. |
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| Author: | Chus [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:43 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
I haven't been in interested in a word said by Chris Berman in 25 years. |
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| Author: | Brick [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
He was cool when you first heard him. The problem is he never changed. It got old quick. |
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| Author: | Bagels [ Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
no, he was never cool |
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| Author: | Seacrest [ Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:16 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Hawg Ass wrote: Maybe it's because I am older, but I have always liked him. He was an original, and a lot of have copied. Well said Hawger. |
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| Author: | leashyourkids [ Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Isn't it widely accepted that Berman is a drunk, drug addicted asshole and serial sexual harasser? |
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| Author: | Darkside [ Sat Feb 04, 2017 11:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
leashyourkids wrote: Isn't it widely accepted that Berman is a drunk, drug addicted asshole and serial sexual harasser? Yeah but so are we all. |
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| Author: | Scooter [ Sat Feb 04, 2017 9:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: Isn't it widely accepted that Berman is a drunk, drug addicted asshole and serial sexual harasser? Yeah but so are we all. I thought that only happened at Lakemoor Fest which if I lived closer I would love to attend. |
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| Author: | Frank Coztansa [ Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:50 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Scooter wrote: Darkside wrote: leashyourkids wrote: Isn't it widely accepted that Berman is a drunk, drug addicted asshole and serial sexual harasser? Yeah but so are we all. I thought that only happened at Lakemoor Fest which if I lived closer I would love to attend. Pretty sure FF was the harassee, not the harasser. |
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| Author: | W_Z [ Sun Feb 05, 2017 10:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
leashyourkids wrote: Isn't it widely accepted that Berman is a drunk, drug addicted asshole and serial sexual harasser? Chris "Two in the Pink One in the Stink to Ingrid" Berman |
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| Author: | lipidquadcab [ Sun Feb 05, 2017 11:11 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Chris Berman |
Hawg Ass wrote: Maybe it's because I am older, but I have always liked him. He was an original, and a lot of have copied. +1 NFL Primetime was appointment television for me as a yute. |
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