Ladies and gentlemen, boys and Elmhurst Steve, welcome one and all! It's Friday and it time to vote for some douchebags! Last week we had a fantastic guest host (he was a balck guy!) who gave us our Friday douchabagging and it was glorious. To recap the winner of the Week 35 DOTW poll was The Dallas Cowboys! Who would want $90 worth of Stadium pizza? Well, maybe lipidquadcab, but he'd have to leave the Xbox behind to go to the stadium and I think that's a dealbreaker.
Anyway this week we've got a couple of our own, a draftee, a top draft pick and others to choose from. And in no particular order they are:
Shakes and his fine circle of buddies: Nominated by SteveSarley for saying, among many other bizarre things, that he likes wife beaters, drug pushers, gang bangers, and child molesters more than he likes "Jesus Freaks". I too like drug pushers more than Jesus Freaks but I'd leave the rest of them. Noncompoopery and numbskullery is the lifeblood of this board, just look at how much everyone loves STU, but there is a weird undefines line you can't cross. Did Shakes cross it? On the other hand Sarley does get a bit snarkey in those religious discussions. Which guy is more right? You gotta vote, jamoke.
Michael Crabtree: Nominated by schmitty1121 for holding out, even though players selected above him have signed. That may be true but he is supposed to be the #1 WR in the draft. This thread also exposed Irish Boy as a draft anarchist, which was... weird. He hates the NFL and he hates America by proxy. Anyhow, does holding out make you a douchebag? Could it make you richer, and thus is a valid negotiating tactic? Is he hurting his team by not being ready for preseason games? Why does my refrigerator smell funny? Vote today!
My Apartment's Thin Floors: Nominated by Kid Cairo for allowing him to hear the sounds of human copulation. Well, the sounds had to be heard in your apartment somehow, by hook or by crook. But wait, should you be able to hear your neighbors porking? Was the floor to blame? Or was that some serious duffing going on over there. Kid our advise is to give that man a high-five (GREAT Success!) when you next see him, and we suspect that you might hear your last sexual act for a while... I mean coming from below... I mean outside the apartment. Anyhow, maybe Kid's floors are to blame. If so, vote right now!
Mike Mulligan Sportsclips Commercials: Nominated by JohnKirk, aw damn, I mean 670. JohnKirk is taking a break. JohnKirk would never log in with someone else's name or a mult. John. Kirk. Anyhow, (John Kirk) 670 nominated this commercial for being annoying. John really never had any real reason for it, but maybe it was the yelling. John Kirk hates the yelling. Well, we here at DOTW home office definately believe that reads and inhouse commercials suck and are usually bad but are they douchebag worthy? That's up to you reader and John Kirk.
You guys who still use my name: Scorehead. JohnKirk. James T. Kirk. Aaaaaaadmiral. He doesn't want anyone using his name even though he used it for weeks, made hundreds of posts stating that it was his name and although they're now public record that this new moniker is linked to his "real" name, so why bother changing? We don't know, but he's not happy that you don't understand that he doesn't want anyone to know what his name is, even though he told you what it was. I love circular logic. Did using John Kirk make me a douchebag? Does it make you a douchebag by proxy? Vote!
Patrick Kane: Get arrested as a Chicago athlete and your name is sure to show up here. Illini81887 nominated Kaner for getting in a taxi, taking the ride with his cuz, then allegedly assaulting the taxi driver (you talkin to me) for not giving back proper change. We're still unsure of all the circumstances surrounding this event, new info comes out ever day like the fact that the driver was driving illegally and he may have detained the boys. But does that make the assault valid? Where was this Kane during the season and SPECIFICALLY the Detroit series? We need Kane to be a tooth chipper but on the ice, not in taxicabs. Was Kane a douchebag? You speak with the vote.
Soup Fan Anthony: Ed_From_Lisle nominated SFA for his post in the Daaaaamaaanaaa section where he gave us a visual aide to understand his thoughts on Meatpants verison of "Rio". Yeah, it was grotesque and horrifying but it was also an accurate description according to Tall Midget who, as we know, is the ultimate intellectual authority round these here parts. We came for sports yak, not for shock vlaue pictures of dead people. On the other hand, we're pretty hands off with the post supervision, so it has been said. Should SFA have given us a warning? Should Meat have given us a warning? Was it hard to look at? or hard to look away from? Vote!
Ladies and gentlemen, these are your week 36 nominees. Remember to use a sharpie to fill in the vote bubble above and get out the vote. Someone here will be on the 3rd quarter douchebag semifinals in 3 weeks, and it's up to you to decide who it's gonna be. Also the winner will be douchbag's avatar. Lots of responsibility there. So quit screwin around goddamnit and vote!
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