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Good morning CSFMB. It’s Friday and it’s time to vote for some douchebags.
So you bastards elected me last week for my announcement that I was retiring from the DBOTW threads. I’ve had to look at my picture on Douchebag’s avatar for a week now. Kind of a Drag. But it’s a fickle thing, this CSFMB. You’re hot shit one day and dogdirt the next. I’ll be entered into the 4th Quarter Semifinals coming up in just four weeks. I’ll see you there.
So here are the nominees for Week 48:
Kevin Garnett: RPB nominated KG (a PF from the NBA) for DBOTW for being a chest pounding jerk after every play. We’ve all seen KG act like a child, screaming at the other players, pounding his chest, screaming at Jesus, calling people with legitimate medical conditions “Cancer Patients”. But maybe he’s just a big competitor. I could see RPB pounding his chest after following a BigFan post with Wu lyrics. But it is true that Garnett isn’t exactly a sportsman in the game, and he seems to be getting worse. Does it make him a douchebag?
SHAZAM: lipidquadcab likes to get $20’s so he can go down to the local Electronics Boutique and make it rain, but today, Shazam wasn’t spittin out the cabbage. It told him he exceeded his daily limit. It told him it’s not interested in giving him his balance, so lipid goes for revenge here, on the intertoobs. Folks, how’s he going to get into the EB Champaign Room without the Cheddar? If you support lipids position, please vote SHAZAM today!
Todd Ricketts: Ricketts’ appearance on Undercover Boss has irked good dolphin because when Ricketts found out that life is hard when Daddy doesn’t hand you a great job and tons of coin he went and proved his incompetence by buying off his work and basically looking like a fool that can’t even park cars. And this guy is the one in charge of hiring/firing a GM, and fancies himself the one thing that can bring a World Series to the Cubs that 100+ years of tinkering, buggering, folding, spindling, and mutilating couldn’t fix. Certainly cause for a nomination. But will he win? Your choice Chicago.
Kerry Sayers – Doucehbagette: If anyone was wondering who the guy was that cared about the WSOP it was Blackcloud. And he was pissed that the winner was divulged prior to the airing of the event on National Television by none other than WSCR’s own Kerry Sayers. I’m already under threat of removal from a Christmas List by including this on my weekly poll but I being on Cairo’s Christmas list sounds like something that will leave you feeling sticky, greasy and violated anyway. So … here’s her nomination.
Chet Coppock: Screw it. I’m including this one. If anyone has this guy as a friend on that website that I won’t name you know he’s always talking about American Taxi, places that gave him a 5% discount on his meal and how much he hates EVERYBODY. He takes credit for the success of pretty much everyone in Chicago Broadcasting, and is extremely spiteful and mean to others who are much more successful than he. His posts read like a hit list or a radio ad so Darkside nominated him this week because that really, truly is douchebag behavior. Is Chet a douche or is Darko not getting Chet’s Chetness?
Tinley Park Driver: There’s nothing that Ugueth Will Shiv You likes to do more after distributing hazardous materials on a highway than nominate drunk drivers who freely admit to being under the influence when pulled over. This Tinley Park resident was pulled over, and mentioned that he likes to drink Vodka while driving. He also showed them his flask. Maybe he’s a douchebag for driving loaded but maybe he’s not since he pretty much just confessed. Please vote if Ugie’s right!
MLB Offseason Awards: Boilermaker Rick says that the damn season is long enough already without a post season award needing to be awarded every 2 weeks during the whole winter. He just wants baseball to go away until Spring. Of course, he doesn’t realize that there is demand for baseball stuff all year long, since it is America’s most popular sport by a wide margin. I mean, there’s people demanding Hot Stove talk, and the awards lead to fascinating conversations about Jeter and his preference for um… wood bats. Is BR onto something? Burned out on Baseball and want it to get it’s purse and go away?
The NFL: Well, it’s rogers park bryan’s turn to bitch about the NFL this week. He’s upset that there’s no superteams that will dominate everyone and reduce his favorite team’s chances to have a shot at the Playoffs and thus Super Bowl. It was so much better when we went into the season knowing that the NFC representative would be the Cowboys and that our favorite team, the beloved, had no chance. But then again, maybe there’s just a bunch of boring teams that disappear like a fart in the wind when they get into the postseason on a mediocre 9-7 record. Hmm. Let’s put it to a vote.
People who don’t understand how “reply all” works: Oh man we’ve all had these. The guy that replies all to a broadcast message. The 15-20 people who for some reason feel the need to reply all to tell people to stop replying to all, and the other 15-20 who will reply all to ask to be taken off the list. That’s 40 damn emails that are clogging your inbox like a mittful of fingers clogging chaspopcap’s ass. How annoying, and that’s what brings us this nomination from The Original kid Cairo. You know that these folks are douchebags, but do the beat out the other nominees this week?
People who blame others for things they cause themselves: This nomination comes from none other than Cubbiesgirlshamus, who is famous for blaming democrats for the conditions in our city and country and her workplace. It’s about how she used to be fat. And how that’s her fault. And that’s about all we can gather from this nomination. I thought I’d include it because there’s some pretty tough talk and non namby pamby kum ba ya… whatever the fuck that is.
Matt Spiegel: Meatpants took a bit of a pounding recently over his unusual absences and his seemingly larger dedication to his band than his radio show. Notice I say seemingly. Matt has defended his position from behind his girlfriend, who holds him back from kicking our asses. That’s fine, once the board knew what caused his most recent absence, they backed off and gave him their condolences over his situation. But, as pointed out by rogers park bryan, Meat took it very personally, lashing out on the radio and “stick it to the CSFMB guys” right off the bat on the show the other day. This show has been accused of thin skinnery over the year or so they’ve been on the air, but this might be the first time that Spiegs was accused himself. Is Meatpants being a douche? Your call.
Ok folks, there's your nominees this week. Have a great weekend!
_________________ "Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014 bigfan wrote: Many that is true, but an incomplete statement.
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and missed because you drank too much beer tonight.