Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls and aquatic creatures, it’s Friday, and it’s time to vote for some douchebags. Today besides celebrating the murder of Jesus we’re also celebrating the douchebaggery that has touched our lives (mainly between March 19th and April 2nd). Will the douchebag of the week come back in 3 days? Probably not.
Anyhow, this week, we’re celebrating two, yes, two weeks of douchebaggery, weeks 16 and 17. So please, remember to vote for two douchebags, and choose… wisely.

Bill Self: Nas nominated Jayhawks coach Bill Self for his supposed choke job last week against UNI Panthers. Did Self choke? Did Collins freak under the bright lights? Hard to say but one thing is for sure, we here at the DBOTW home office believe firmly that Nas has picked Kansas in his office bracket. Anyway, if Self is a douchebag, vote here!

Katherine Brotherton: This one is a top seed this week. Brotherton stands accused of dousing her dogs with gasoline and setting them on fire, thus earning a nomination from Hackwilson’s Ribbies. Elmhurst Steve actually made me laugh with his initial reaction to this nomination but promptly blew it with a lame follow up joke.

FantaSea: Gay prancing. Awful music. And it’s no longer confined to the CSFMB, now it’s contaminated a former place of refuge, the Shedd Aquarium. You spend $40 a pop, you want to see some goddamn dolphins and you get some dude dressed up like a gay birdlike Harry Potter and flying boats, thus precipitating the nomination from Darkside. No I wasn’t baked either. Nor tripping. This actually happened. FantaSea sucks big time so screw them!

American Family Insurance: Chris in Joliet nominated AmFam for jacking up the rates on his auto insurance even though he, nor his wife, were responsible for the accident that caused their loss. Some great posts here, where insurance companies are referred to as the lowest forms of life. I guess that poster hasn’t been to Maywood , so we’ll forgive Elar his ignorance and just move on. If Insurance companies are Satan unleashed, vote here today.

Cake guys!: I am including BigFan’s nomination as an offering to allow me to keep my mults. I love them, and they me. Anyway, I guess he was somewhere with one of those fancy cakes in the form of a car, much like Bigfan’s bed. After looking at this pretty cake for a couple hours, they ate it and it sucked. I think he’s douching them because they prepare their cakes several days in advance and it compromises the taste. As I type this, Robin Baumgarten just said “It’s all about the Bieber” and so I included that here since I can’t think of anything more clever to say.

Gene Simmons: Dude’s rich. He puts his band’s name on EVERYTHING. Why can’t he just marry the ass he’s been fucking for like 20 years? I mean, she’s earned something by now, right? Anyhow, Darkside has nominated Simmons not for his douchebag business decisions, but for his anti-marriage rant. If he still appealed to children instead of fat unmarried 37 year olds as it would be worse. But anyway, does the Knight in Satan’s Service deserve a douchebag award? Is it strange that Satan was mentioned twice in this thread already, on a HOLY WEEKEND?

Former Coworkers: cubbiesgirlshamus nominated some poor immigrant workers who despite learning the English language enough to function properly within our society feels comfortable speaking in their native tongue when in the company of those with whom they share familiarity in an unfamiliar land. I guess they’re suing their boss because he’s demanded that they speak English only on the floor. We here at the DBOTW home office initially wondered if perhaps cubbiegirl works at a painting and wallpapering company, but she has yet to clarify.

Your Brackets: KDdidit don’t give a fuck. Neither do I. You’ve probably got 10 or 15 of them anyway so you’re full of shit when you brag about how well you’ve done. We believe that there is current man law precedent to indicate that it is improper to speak of your bracket success when not directly addressing someone within your pool. So vote here if you don’t care about anyone’s bracket!

Bullies/Cyberbullies…: W_Z nominated the bullies related to the unfortunate death of Phoebe Prince, a lovely 15 year old girl who hung herself when she couldn’t take the torment from her peers any longer. If you’ve ever been bullied you know how you can feel helpless, with no one to turn to. And sometimes some fucked up shit goes thru your head. We’ll be watching this case to see how it shakes out, but picking on kids to this point is seriously wrong.

Choose a douche: The poll from Ugueth Will Shiv You was about the Fred Phelps (a former douchebag nominee) and his church who led a protest against gays at Albert Snyder’s son’s military funeral. Well he sued them, lost, and has to pay the bastard’s court costs. Someone here is a douche, and likely to be moved along to the quarterly semifinals.

Well, these are your final nominees for Weeks 16 and 17. Please remember to vote for two, and have a Good Friday, people!

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"Play until it hurts, then play until it hurts to not play."
http://soundcloud.com/darkside124 HOF 2013, MM Champion 2014

These are some pretty shitty nominations.

I wrote in RPB.....twice. Im gunning for ya in next year's tourney.

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