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Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate!
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Author:  Darkside [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate!
Good Morning CSFMB! It’s Friday and it’s time to vote for some Douchebags!
Last week, we elected CubbieGirl’s Keyboard, which allows her to interface with the Chicago Sports Fan Message Board and force her insane droppings on us regularly. Whether she’s nominating people she’s never met and calling them bad things or asking silly questions, her keyboard is the common element allowing this to happen. So congratulations Chicago, you managed to nominate a board member in some kind of reference. Well done.

This week we’ve got Cardinals, CubbieGirls, gay beers, Packer Backers and pregnant runners! Here they are:

Zack Greinke/Tony LaRussa: This nomination comes from lipidquadcab who doesn’t like the WWE style nitwittery going on between the Cardinals and the Brewers. While Tony LaRussa should make this nomination a lock this week, because he is perpetually a douchebag in every possible interpretation of the word, mostly this was about Greinke talking about how he doesn’t like Chris Carpenter shouts at opposing players from the mound during games. And I guess LaRussa didn’t like Greinke not liking Carpenter. Oh, this also involves some life advice from our most gifted poster as well, so if you don’t mind rotting your brain with his ridiculous conclusions and half thought out theories, please give it a click.

Miller Lite: FavreFan isn’t going to win any mantastic awards by slamming the triple hops brewed nectar of the Northern Hillfolk. But he’s going to do it anyway. Give that man a man card. Basically, the nomination stems from the fact that Miller Lite advertises itself as a “manly” beer, with the accusation that if you drink other beers you are less of a man. We here at the Douchebag of the Week Home Office aren’t sure if insulting the people you’re trying to get to buy your product is a smart advertising campaign, but it certainly lacks a certain humor and that pretty much goes along with the fact that Miller Lite is crappy beer, but do these things mean the deserve a Douchebagging this week? Your call, Chicago.

Packer Fans: Now that the Packers have won 5 straight games to start the season, we have had to endure the same faggy shoutout from the same posters each of the 5 weeks. As Terry’s Peeps pointed out in the nomination… we get it. What little we understand of the Packers fanbase is disturbing and terrifying, from their nearly all cheese and beer diet to their misunderstanding of the basics of the language they reportedly have spoken since shortly after birth, and having to read their rantings about how awesome each and every player, coach, GM, beer vendor, and cheese head salesman is after each and every game is making the rest of us consider things that begin with M. Had enough Bears fans? Vote for those Packer fans, and don’t feel bad admitting that you voted for them, because they probably can’t fucking read it anyway.

Amber Miller and Her Doctor: Big Chicagoan isn’t a doctor, but he watched someone play one on TV once. And that made him qualified to douchebag the woman who ran the Chicago Marathon while 39 weeks pregnant, with the blessing of her doctor. Now we understand that women are supposed to get some exercise while pregnant, but is it really a good idea to run 13 miles (alas, it were only a half marathon… pregnant wuss) while you’re about to drop a baby right there in the street? Seems that this also really irked one Dan Bernstein, who is also an aspiring phony doctor, so maybe there’s something to this nomination? You decide!

Fanboys: sjboyd0137 nominated those fanboys who pop a vessel each time they make a movie out of a comic that no one really read in the first place and who talk shit about the plot changes or minute differences between the comics and the movies. This is a pretty good nomination, and well explained, but really, can’t we go ahead and expand it to all fanboys of pretty much everything? Nothing worse than the guy who tells you how stupid you are for not buying Apple everything, or who give you shit for owning a Playstation for no other reason than to justify their own purchase. Anyway, if you’ve had it with these fanboys, vote here today!

The Media Love Fest with Al Davis: This is a classic nomination from Cubbiesgirlshamus. I am only including it because it perfectly illustrates what a nutcase this person is. She straight up says that Al Davis was a “terrible person” and never, ever backs that up with any type of fact or makes a case for it. She just judged him and let it rip. She also qualified her opinion by saying that only a “brain dead moron” would disagree with her. Anyway, this had to be pointed out for the good of mankind. Fear her.

Topeka City Council: Killer V brings us the story of the Topeka City Council and their decision to no longer prosecute domestic violence cases because… they’re broke? So basically, if you live it Topeka, you can beat your wife and not ever face charges for it. Sounds like a place Cubbiegirl could call home… or full of Al Davis lovers. They’ve already dropped 30 cases, which makes you wonder what the hell is going on in Topeka… 30 cases dropped… in ONE MONTH? Jesus, looks like they should have invested in cooking classes in Topeka city schools.

Well, there are your top nominees for this week! Please vote, and vote wisely, or with an agenda, whichever works for you.
Author:  Krazy Ivan [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
This is tough...

Nicely done again, Darkside.
Author:  Phil McCracken [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Miller Lite
Author:  redskingreg [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Nice work, Darkside.
Author:  sjboyd0137 [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Pain in the ass Packer Fans
Author:  Peoria Matt [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Darkside, thanks for the DOTW. The two must reads on the board are this and the Spada mult.
Author:  FavreFan [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 12:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Phil McCracken wrote:
Miller Lite

8)
Author:  Vincent Antonelli [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Phil McCracken wrote:
Miller Lite


Even if it is not good beer, it is still beer. I refuse to insult anything that helps so many!
Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Vincent Antonelli wrote:
Phil McCracken wrote:
Miller Lite


Even if it is not good beer, it is still beer. I refuse to insult anything that helps so many!


Favre Fan now wants to fight you :lol:
Author:  chaspoppcap [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Miller Lite.
Author:  Eaglo Jeff [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Thanks for your Committment to Excellence in doucheing, Darko! 8)

That being said, I'll go with CGS's media that licks Al Davis' zombie rectum.....let him rest in peace already.
Author:  Hank Scorpio [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Eaglo Jeff wrote:
Thanks for your Committment to Excellence in doucheing, Darko! 8)

That being said, I'll go with CGS's media that licks Al Davis' zombie rectum.....let him rest in peace already.


He cant rest in peace until someone shoots his reanimated corpse in the head.
Author:  lipidquadcab [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Darkside wrote:
Zack Greinke/Tony LaRussa: This nomination comes from lipidquadcab who doesn’t like the WWE style nitwittery going on between the Cardinals and the Brewers. While Tony LaRussa should make this nomination a lock this week, because he is perpetually a douchebag in every possible interpretation of the word, mostly this was about Greinke talking about how he doesn’t like Chris Carpenter shouts at opposing players from the mound during games. And I guess LaRussa didn’t like Greinke not liking Carpenter. Oh, this also involves some life advice from our most gifted poster as well, so if you don’t mind rotting your brain with his ridiculous conclusions and half thought out theories, please give it a click.

I'm having you write all my DB nominations from now on...infinitely better than when I wrote it...
Author:  Colonel Angus [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
I can't believe the pregnant chick only got three votes. WTF, guys!
Author:  FavreFan [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Colonel Angus wrote:
I can't believe the pregnant chick only got three votes. WTF, guys!

Miller Lite and Packer Fans are much more dangerous to that fetus's well being than the mother running Forrest Gump-style three trimesters in.
Author:  Colonel Angus [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 7:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
FavreFan wrote:
Colonel Angus wrote:
I can't believe the pregnant chick only got three votes. WTF, guys!

Miller Lite and Packer Fans are much more dangerous to that fetus's well being than the mother running Forrest Gump-style three trimesters in.

Half true. I'm sure Miller Lite has some nutrients.
Author:  Terry's Peeps [ Fri Oct 14, 2011 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
That was one of the dumber nominations. Pregnant lady gave birth after running 26 miles.

Now people like FavreFan, UMN, and Keeping Score....
Author:  Beebo [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 5:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
If you buy the rights to a comic book character, *do* the character. If you think you can do a better character, *do* that better character, but don't say it so-and-so comic book character, because it isn't.

You're not buying rights to the character so much as buying the character's recognition with the public. Harder to publicize "The Invincibles" over "Fantastic Four" (although the former is an homage to the latter.)

A lot of what a character is followings the throwing shit at the wall analogy: whatever sticks works. So you merge character traits 'x', story elements 'y', and throw, and it stuck. So *that's* the secret sauce for that character: you change the recipe, and things don't stick anymore. Which is why you don't get rights to the Hardy Boys books, then recast the brothers so one's a cross dresser and they pretend to be married couple. Fighting zombies with chainsaws.

Truly, truly, truly: you start reading the Avengers tomorrow. Become a fan of the book. The origin? Done back in '63, and very much set in that time period. Radioactivity, Vietnam war, Missile Scares. Maybe you'll read it, but the first issue you bought doesn't go into all that. You start in the middle of a story and work out what's going on. And, there's 50 years backhistory, which you can take or leave.

And that's my take on the movies: present a compelling story in the now. Don't worry about retelling the origins from 50 years ago, in a *movie*. Keep true to the characters. Victor von Doom is this guy in armor who rules a nation, not someone in a business suit.

Okay, so maybe we're DBs. But how about these lazy Hollywood types, who can't/won't sell their own superhero ideas, so they buy the rights to some other character, and refactor/reimagine every aspect of it. Somewhere, a "splat" of diarrhea is sliding off the wall...
Author:  Colonel Angus [ Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Douchebag of the Week, Week 4! Now with more Zombie hate
Good point, Beebo.
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